In Which Cars Explode

26.11.2008

I remembered something I wanted to say on Monday. I was recently informed that the bridge I cross like six times a week to go to Bobrinskij is the bridge off of which Sonya jumps, in "Crime and Punishment." I thought about this as I traversed its icy surface on Monday, nearly SLIPPING and FALLING into the river, myself. WELL, AT LEAST I WOULD BE IN GOOD COMPANY.

Today was somewhat halfway decent, I suppose. Nothing out of the ordinary. Professor Vertkin invited us to his house on Saturday for a Thanksgiving dinner. Which is kind of strange, I guess. He was talking about how he remembers what professors would do for the international students when he was abroad and such, so I guess he wanted to do similar. But I'm not sure how he's going to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner by himself... We'll see how that goes.

Oh, and I asked him about the Russian cultural perception of being polite to those you hate, and he said it's not as universal as it is in the US, and entirely depends on the person... That is, some people act overly friendly and polite to those they hate, others act indifferent, and still others react violently towards said individuals. So I basically have no way of knowing if Andrei Vladimirovich doesn't like me.

He also had something interesting to say about the unsmiling nature of Russia. He has a theory that it's a Soviet holdover (much like everything else that is entirely unpleasant in this country), from when basically everyone was miserable and no one had much of a reason to smile. He said the rising middle class and the changes Russia is undergoing is changing this cultural phenomenon. That is to say, those who are doing better off than before are smiling more often, while those who are still miserable don't smile. OR MAYBE IT'S JUST THE PROLIFERATION OF AMERICAN CULTURE THAT IS FORCING A REGIMEN OF DAILY SMILES ON THE LOCAL POPULATION?!

Something that I find particularly ddisturbing... I have heard nothing about the car explosion in St. Petersburg in the news, here. I just happened to stumble across it on the BBC today, and then heard a few of the Americans say that their friends had contacted them to see if they were doing alright... And none of the Americans knew about it before they were contacted, either. I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean. I know if something like that happened in America, the news would be all over it, and that would be the only damned headline for over a week. I don't know if the government just doesn't want people to know about it, or if it's .. just ... not a big thing for St. Petersburg? I mean, nothing like that really happens here very often. Granted, it's thought that it was a mistake, and not a terrorist attack or anything, but again, MISTAKES like that don't seem to happen very often, here.

I spoke with Yura, today, and I'm trying to convince him to go with me to Finland and the Baltic states. He seemed interested, so, there we go.

I was watching MTV Russia, just now, and they have a bunch of strange specials going on before the Russian Music awards... Well, the one I just watched was juxtaposing a few of Russia's major top hits with really old American (and I think one French) songs, showing that these new Russian artists basically ripped off old songs tune for tune, and wrote their own songs to fit them. And then this Russian music producer went on a rant about how these artists were horribly unoriginal, and how they shouldn't be popular and junk. Which is bizarre, because I can't imagine a music producer saying this, on MTV nevertheless. But maybe they're trying to sway the music awards vote. Somewhat interesting.

Plans for the next week:
-Thursday: Thanksgiving Dinner at Bryan's
-Friday: Hermitage for MAYBE the last time, then a walk down Nevsky
-Saturday: Thankgiving Dinner, Take Two, at Dmitry Vertkin's, then Central Station
...
-NEXT Thursday: Shopping Trip! I would go this Sunday, but Christmas sales are popping up everywhere and that means absurd amounts of people everywhere.

In Which Procrastination KILLS ME

25.11.2008

So I promised myself last night that as soon as I got home, today, I would start on my paper. Period. Because otherwise there'd be no way that I'd finish it.

And what am I doing? SURE AS HELL AIN'T MAH PAPER.

Six weeks left. Still so much to do, but I'm not lamenting. I'll have to fill each weekend with fun things, however. I'm going to try and see if I can get tickets to the "St Petersburg Opera," about which Vika told me today. She said it's small and cheap, especially compared to the Mikhailovskij and the Mariinskij. So I'll have to see what's playing.

We started a chapter in Razgovor today about ... ordering food and shopping. This would have been useful about, oh, I don't know, THREE MONTHS AGO? I've realised that I've been using terribly incorrect terms and structures when I go out to restaurants or shopping. So that's just fantastic.

Damn it, I know there were a couple other things I wanted to talk about, today, but I forgot what they were...

Well, one was about something in Razgovor. We were going over a list of things one would buy in a cosmetics store, and one of them was "туалетная вода." Which literally translates to "toilet water." Of course, I, being the mature individual that I am, burst out laughing. I think two of the girls in the class were genuinely confused as to why "toilet water" was on this list, and the teacher didn't find it very funny. So, I had to go into an explanation about how in America, we don't translate "eau de toilette" on perfume, because "toilet" in English solely means ... well, the toilet. Apparently the Russian "туалет" is taken directly from the French in meaning. This just further proves my theory that English is a horribly crass language.

On the downside, I have almost finished my last jar of peanut butter. My mom said she sent me another jar a couple weeks ago, so we'll see if that gets here. I wish I hadn't eaten so much of the first jar when I lived in the dorms...

Edit: Alright, so, I was reading BBC, and there were several news stories about terrorist incidents in southern Russia -- Around the Caucasus and such. Well, then there was one about a car exploding, and I figured that was almost in the Caucasus, and almost didn't read it ... But...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7747369.stm

In Which Human Rights Are Painful

24.11.2008

On the way home from class, I saw a cafe I had never noticed, before... It was called "Де-Факто / Кафе Учёта Событий" (De-Fakto - Kafe Uchyota Sobytij). De Facto - Cafe Calculation of Events. What in the name of God? That's probably the worst cafe in Petersburg. I kind of want to go, now.

Other than that, the day was kind of painful. I wore my fur hat for the first time, and looked like an arctic explorer doing so (photos soon). Because... IT WAS SNOWING. AGAIN. Basically I fell twice today and looked like a jackass doing so. It's not like you can ANTICIPATE the fall. The first time was no more than two minutes after leaving the apartment, and I was being CAREFUL. The second time, I was just walking along the sidewalk, fine and dandy, thinking about homework, on the way back from class, when suddenly, "Wait, why the hell am I on the ground?"

Some jackass left the windows open in our room for grammar, ALL WEEKEND, so the room was COLD AS FUCK despite heating being on and leaving the door open. As a result, I couldn't think in class, and so on.

Other than that the day was fairly uneventful. I finished and sent one paper for human rights, and Andrei Vladimirovich immediately asked for my OTHER paper as well. I told him I hadn't finished it yet, then asked if I could turn it in on Wednesday, but that is 'too late.' I haven't even started on it. I really wanted to write both papers in Russian, but I simply don't have the time. So, damn. I think he's getting tired of me, but I can't tell. He dragged Anya into his office today and yelled at her, I think -- at least, she came out and said he was getting after her about something. Then, guess what.... ANOTHER GIRL JOINED OUR CLASS, TODAY. What the hell? I think she might be a prospective, or something.

He basically used today just to recap what he's taught semester, probably because I HAVE BEEN THE ONLY STUDENT WHO'S BEEN IN THE CLASS SINCE THE BEGINNING. So he kept calling on me to explain things, and I clearly don't know how to express myself, and he was getting impatient.

Speaking of which, I better go WRITE THAT PAPER.

Actually, one cultural enigma I haven't unwrapped, yet. I know that in America, when you don't like someone, it is culturally polite to be perfectly pleasant and friendly to that someone. I am wondering if it's the same here? Because he's fairly nice to me whenever he sees me, and smiles and says hi when we see each other. But when the other guy in the class showed up late, today, as per usual, Andrei just kind of grimaced and said hello. I think I may ask Dr. Vertkin on Wednesday, since he seems more interested in discussing the fine points of Russian and American culture than other professors.

In Which A MASSIVE UPDATE Is Made

19.11.2008

It snowed today. That was pretty for about three seconds, until the day actually started and all the snow turned into black and brown slush. Except for that snow on the sidewalk which was trampled into ice by the throngs of pedestrians, left for me to SLIP ON at least FIVE TIMES throughout the day.

So, I actually woke up at 8 this morning, and realised I never set my alarm. That was convenient. Then, when I woke up for the day, I wasn't that terribly tired. I felt quite refreshed and good. You'd think that'd be the start to a good day, right? WRONG.

I got on the bus, and the conductor said something to me that I didn't understand. Well, halfway through the ride they stopped letting people on, so I had a terrible image flashed through my mind that they were going to kick me off at some stop I didn't know and I was going to be stuck in the snow in the middle of the city and not know how to get to school. SO, I got off at a stop I was familiar with, and took a different bus. Which was mildly obnoxious because I was already running late, plus that killed 16 more rubles.


And then my Central Asian class ended on a heated debate over Kyrgyz bride kidnapping.

20.11.2008

This cat won't leave me alone. I came in here and sat on my bed to write an entry, and she jumped up and sat in my lap. I postponed the journal writing for about 20 minutes, then decided enough was enough, and picked her up and set her on the floor. She didn't get the hint, and just jumped right back up on the bed and walked into my lap. So I guess I'll just have to write over her.

...Oh ew, Brittany Spears is still making music? Her video "Womanizer" just came on TV. This is awful. Amusingly, her hair changes colour, shape, and length about four times throughout the entire course of the video.

I'm in an annoying cycle, right now. When I'm out and about, with people, or even just at school, I feel "fine," I guess. "Fine" in the sense that I don't really have much of a sense of homesickness while I'm out. But while I'm at home, sitting around, I just want to go BACK. I guess my most defining symptoms are strong desires to do things that I just can't do here. Other than that, I just feel TIRED all the time, and I don't want to do ANYTHING. ANYTHING, as in, I don't even really want to go out. I just want to sit in bed and stare at the walls all day. Which is basically what I do when I get back from classes, anymore. It's possible that the weather is having more of an effect than I thought it originally would... It's just barely light out when I go to classes, and it's almost always dark by the time I get out of them. Plus it's cold.

Speaking of coldness, I'm seeing the fur hats emerging. An old woman and an old man on the bus today were wearing ushanki, and this other old woman wearing a different kind of fur hat. I haven't worn mine, yet, though. But I don't think it's so cold that I need one ... I never really wear a fur hat for warmth in the U.S., even as cold as it gets in Maryland, and it's just barely under freezing, here. Sooo I'm going to wait a bit, I suppose, and continue to just wrap my head with my scarf.

Also, on the way to the metro from class today there was a Russian man singing and playing on the side of the pedestrian street (as there usually are). This one, however, was singing "Stairway to Heaven." I thought it was mildly amusing, but I think others might appreciate it more.

I've recently come upon a word that I think sounds stupid. Yes. This word is " девчонка." (devchonka... I guess the translation would be 'gal' or something - the female version of 'guy'). DevCHONKa? Ew. Well, I suppose 'gal' is kind of gross, too. Whatever.

I think what I really need to do is just FIND SOMETHING TO DO. Something new, and interesting. Or just something simple that I haven't done, yet. I've been to the Hermitage more times than I can count. I've been to ballets, to operas (not to mention they're all SO DAMNED EXPENSIVE this month for some reason). I'm going to the Russian museum in a group on Sunday. I don't know what to do? It's getting too cold to just go out and around, and everything here is just so damned expensive, so I don't know.

At the same time, I just want to sleep away the next two months. I don't want to go out. I don't want to work. I don't want to do any damned thing. But clearly that's not going to happen. But in a way it is, since I just sit in my room and do the bare minimum to get by in classes, after returning from the university every day. I don't know what the hell to do to get out of this slump. Forcing myself to do work or read or anything isn't going to do it -- Something else needs to change. Something to change my attitude, my mood. I don't know.

I also think my research habits have just gone down the drain since I've been here. I have three different research projects going on right now (two of them rather small, but still) and I tried to work on two of them, today. Basically I just sat staring at the computer because I didn't know what to do. I've just completely forgotten HOW to research. I think mostly in terms of contemporary issues, though, since I did just fine on my research for the Hungarian war... But that in itself was an easier topic to research. Today I was trying to research on whether or not Russia was a plural or consocial (?) society in the 90's or today. I went about it by first trying to figure out specifically what the conditions for the above two concepts were, and then looking at brief descriptions of the 90's and contemporary Russia... and basically the brief descriptions did me no good. Mostly because the 90's were such a crazy ass fucking time that descriptions of that particular decade in Russia do not focus on the topics I need. So I'm stuck. I don't know.


22.11.2008

Alright, so, the past couple of days have changed my mood, for now. I hope it's not an entirely temporary change. BUT, first off:

My hair always looks awesome right after I dry/straighten it after a shower. But, as soon as I:

-Sleep
-Step outside
-Try to style it

it immediately looks like SHIT. I don't know why. Actually, all in all, I feel like I have zero skill in controlling my hair or making it look half-decent. I don't know -- Maybe I'm just too lazy, or I just don't know how to do it. It wouldn't be half as bad except for some reason every guy here seems to be able to keep their hair PERFECTLY ABSOLUTELY STRAIGHT AND STYLED in RAINSTORMS AND BLIZZARDS. Women, I expect this. But men? Not so much. Don't know what the hell that's about. BUT IN ANY CASE.

Yesterday was Friday, so I spent most of the day DOING RESEARCH, OF COURSE. I had planned on going to the Hermitage or something, but then decided I should do RESEARCH. Because I am an INTELLIGENT INDIVIDUAL, OF COURSE. After that I went out to eat with Emma, EB and her three friends who are visiting from Moscow (Americans). We spent forever and a day deliberating on where to go (We were originally going to go to a Georgian restaurant, but one of the friends vetoed it), and finally chose a not-too-fantastic Italian restaurant on Nevsky, which wasn't too terribly priced. So I can't really complain. After that we went out for icecream. (And, no offence to EB, but these three girls were just about the most boring people I have ever met) Eventually, Emma and I departed to go home, when we noticed that Dom Knigi (bookstore) was open. We went inside, and it was a HELL of a lot more pleasant than it is during the day -- Real quiet, not busy at all. I found a book on Russian folk belief, plus Emma showed me these SOVIET POLITICAL POSTER BOOKS that are ULTRA CHEAP for what they are. They have a bunch of different poster books, each with a different theme (Political posters, Cold War posters, revolutionary posters, anti-vice, etc), each with 20 posters at about maybe 24x12 or some other quite large size for less than 20 dollars a book. And she said they have them at the Political Museum, even CHEAPER. So I plan on going there, sometime. I hope they don't randomly disappear.

Today we went on a shopping spree (We being EB, Emma, Bryan). Bryan said there was a clothing store near his apartment that had stuff he said "I might like." We went there and everything was like hundreds of dollars. I found a nice belt I thought about buying, because I thought it said 360 rubles... which is even cheap in America... but then I looked again and it was 7360 rubles. Which is well over 200 dollars. For a very simple belt. Then I saw a really neat jacket I really wanted... but it was 63,000 rubles. which according to my calculator is over 2000 dollars. I MIGHT HAVE bought it for 150 dollars. MIGHT. HAVE. Because it was really neat, and 150 dollars is a lot. But ... 2000 dollars? No thank you. Bryan said their dressing room had a stocked bar. That place was kind of ridiculous. I don't know how they stay open. I guess every time they sell one thing it's like selling... ten things. I don't know. Who the fuck shops at those places? Absurd.

To top it all off, as we left the store, I heard an "Excuse me" behind me, and one of the salespeople came out of the store and handed me ... a button. That had fallen off my coat. So, yes, THE BUTTON FELL OFF MY COAT in this ultra flashy store. How embarassing. Remind me to return to them in ten years when I'm a multi billionaire, and buy them out. Kthx.

After that we went to a few other overpriced stores, and then I discovered where most Russians probably buy their clothes. We went to a hole-in-the-wall packed clothing store that had pants for like 20 dollars and such, and fake Armani shirts. But I didn't see anything that I liked.

We went to another store called 'Interactive' which sold Russian-designed stuff, and was decently priced. But unfortunately had very loud music with the bass turned up absurdly high, so I had a headache after sitting in there for a while and literally couldn't hear what the salesperson was saying to me. I was determined to buy something, but none of the men's pants appealed to me, and I found a couple other things I might've bought had they been cheaper... THEN! Emma pointed out a pair of BRIGHT YELLOW PANTS to me. Of course, I was immediately drawn to them, and had to try them on ... These are. The TIGHTEST pants I have ever worn. And I'm sure many of you can't understand how that is even possible. They are bright bright yellow, with bright lime and hot pink stitching on the back pockets. When I tried them on, just about everyone in the store was staring at me. On top of that, I was wearing a deep purple button-up shirt, which, strangely, complemented the pants perfectly. And so, they were bought. I may return to this store. I was half tempted to buy a HIPSTER scarf because a lot of Russians wear them, but Russians seem to wear them better than Americans. However, I did not.

Then we went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant, and I just realised this is the first time I've eaten Chinese food in Russia. This was a pretty neat place, with its decorations and such. Each booth was actually in its own little room, with a bead curtain and wooden latticework and such. And the food was fantastic. I ordered something that I couldn't translate... all that I could tell was that it was chicken something. And it, ws aactually... Fantastic. It was a really spicy chicken dish with carrots, cucumbers (gross), hot peppers and some nut that I couldn't identify. I've actually been trying to order spicy spicy dishes every time I go out anymore, because the Russian idea of "spice" is ... salt and pepper. and sometimes, MAYBE, if you're lucky, garlic.

... And now it's already time to go to sleep. And I haven't done a damn thing that was productive, today. Good Christ, my work ethic has gone out the damned window.

23.11.2008

So, in spite of what I said yesterday, I woke up today and my hair actually looked perfect for the first time since I came to this country. Then... I looked out the window... And it was a SNOW BLIZZARD. Yarghle.

But it actually wasn't that cold. THANK GOD. Otherwise the day would've been even more miserable than it was. I went outside and had to walk all the way to the metro AGAINST the wind, so I couldn't see the entire time, and I kept stumbling off the sidewalk into two feet of snow. I tried to use my umbrella, but that busted COMPLETELY as SOON as I opened it, so, so much for that. Now I need a new one. I saw some poor guy walking through the piled up black mud-slush on the side of the crosswalk in WHITE sneakers. That would be awful.

When I got to Ploshchad' Iskusstv (Square of the Arts), the weather was actually a lot more pleasant. Not as much wind, since it was in the centre of the city, and that square is a park with a big statue of Pushkin in the centre, so it was really pretty and white. I waited with Elena for a while, then others showed up. While waiting, a busload of children was let loose in the park and they all started a snowball fight. At some point they started to just throw snowballs at Pushkin. Which was amusing. Then after about ten minutes they all piled back onto the bus. Shortly after, we went into the Russian museum.

Nothing terribly exciting in the museum. OH, except, when I went to the bathroom, I heard some old woman yelling “Мужской, мужской! Men!” When I came out, Maneka said she was yelling at me because she thought I was a girl. This seems to happen to me a lot.

I wish I had more time in the museum, though – I broke away from the tour to explore on my own. Good art, and that was about it. I wanted to search through the gift shops a bit more but didn't get the chance. I stumbled upon the portrait of NONE OTHER THAN PRINCE FELIKS YUSUPOV, HOWEVER. Which was BETTER THAN I COULD HAVE IMAGINED. Strangely it was entitled “Count Feliks Samarkov-El'ston,” however (YES, RYAN, YOUR LAST NAME). I guess that was before he became prince or somesuch.

After that we went to some sort of cafe and ate 'lunch.' The trip home was an awful trudging through sludge-slush and snow, which was even deeper than before. The worst was trying to cross through the crosswalks, because where there are normally visible LAKES of water during rain, there were TRAPS of nasty black slush-water surrounded by other slush, and I slipped into a few of these. I'm sure I looked like an idiot trying to hop from shallow spot to shallow spot, but I don't care.

Oh, on the metro I witnessed something that could have turned into ... horror, basically. I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye, and some guy had flicked his lighter... I looked over, and these two guys were gesturing with the lighter at this other guy who had his back turned to them, about ten feet away, and he had fairly long really puffy hair (probably from the moisture). Well, one of the guys walks up behind the third guy, and it seems like he's going to SET THIS GUY'S HAIR ON FIRE. The other guy motions like, 'Nah, don't do it.” The guy with the lighter is clearly like “Come on! It'll be funny!” but doesn't do it, and walks back to his friend... I think I'm the only one who noticed this exchange, and I honestly didn't know what the hell I would do if they had ACTUALLY set this guy's hair on fire. I was pretty horrified that anyone would even THINK about doing that. What the fuck is wrong with people? This is why I always try to avoid groups of younger guys on the metro.

I hate to end the entry on that note, but there you have it.

Basically, I didn't do a damned bit of work this weekend. I'm going to do that tonight, + talk with parents as per every Sunday. So, there we go.

In Which .... I don't know.

18.11.2008

Alright, so, JEN called me as I was sitting down to write my entry for tonight, and therefore I have forgotten everything about which I was going to write. THANKS A LOT, JEN. =P

Basically, I have a ton of work and zero desire to do it. Indeed, I'm going to make a list here just for my own personal perspective:

-6,000 word essay on Russia as a plural society (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean)
-8,000 word essay on a regional Human Rights situation.
-Presentation in SMI on Thursday
-Readings for Russia/USA International Politics Course
-Readings for Central Asian State Formation Course
-Current Issues in Kyrgyzstan
-Presentation on Ukraine for Russia/USA Course
-All Other RSL Coursework
-Registering for Classes at Goucher (AKA: What A Fucking Mess)

That's really about it. Well, that, and I want to purge myself of my host mother's food right now.

Other than that, today was actually pretty boring... I'm getting ready to watch "Черный Ворон" (Chyornyj Voron; Black Raven) which is some strange Russian supernatural/occult show. I haven't seen it yet, but I saw an advertisement for it a few days ago and thought it might be interesting to watch.

Actually, I have a question for those who are from Goucher and read this -- Do classes taken while studying abroad count towards our GPA?

Uhm, I think that's it... I've just developed a new hatred for lugging my laptop across the city to no end, and I've realised I actually hate the newer models of busses here because they have fewer seats so I'm forced to stand unless I want to move to the back of the bus. Which I never do, because the back of the bus is generally an AWFUL place.

Oh, and I'm not sure I can learn this language. It's just gotten to the point where I feel like I can't memorise ANY damned words... I need to USE them, or HEAR them, repeatedly, or I just lose them. That being said, this SHOULD be the perfect environment for that, so I fear my return to America, when everything will just LEAK OUT OF MY SKULL. I don't know. I'm drowning.

So now I'm going to go watch TV instead of doing work.

In Which Heads Explode

17.11.2008

Today was fairly uneventful. I took a test I probably failed, and I didn't understand anything going on in my Grammar class for some reason. Ironically, I understood my Human Rights class more than I usually do. For the first time, ALL THREE STUDENTS WERE IN ATTENDANCE! Well, kind of. The Russian guy, whose name I do not know because the teacher says it and I'm all "What the hell?" because it's a bizarre name, was just sitting there looking bored and texting people on his phone the whole class. Which is apparently a very Russian thing to do. Hell if I know. I think the teacher is convinced I don't know anything, though.

OH. OH. RIGHT. I got my pay for tutoring. Which made me feel like shit. Because I got 1,500 rubles. For ... what, exactly? Every Thursday I sit in Bobrinskij for less than 40 minutes, waiting for people to come and they never do. About five times, now. And that's more than a lot of Russians make in like ... hell if I know. But yeah. Basically it's a flawed system? I guess I shouldn't complain since I got a decent amount of money out of the deal and shouldn't have to withdraw anything for a few more weeks at the VERY least.

Well, unless I actually buy things other than PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, ACTIVIA and SNICKERS.

So basically my woes are thus: I have two things I need to write for my Human Rights class, and the problem is mostly my comprehension of what I need to write. The one that was assigned today is that I need to explain if a 'plural society' existed in Russia in the 90's, if it exists today, and if so under what model. Then I need to PROPOSE a model for today's Russia ... ? In 6,000 characters. Which isn't very long. So, uhm, we'll see what happens.

OH, and in class today, the teacher said "в Украине," (in Ukraine) and the girl in the class interrupted him and said "НА Украине." (in THE Ukraine) He just kind of paused for a moment and said "Как вы хотите." (As you wish) I thought this was interesting because I was told, even by my UKRAINIAN Russian language professor, that it's "на Украине," period. I proposed that "в Украине" would be more correct NOW since Ukraine is a COUNTRY and not a TERRITORY. She disagreed. BUT NOW I have leverage!

So, like Jen, I am all of a sudden wanting to burn Goucher to the ground. I still have a block on my account, meaning I can't register for classes tomorrow unless it's magically removed from my account while I'm sleeping. Which means that once it's removed I will be THE LAST PERSON TO REGISTER. BEHIND ALL THE FUCKING FRESHMEN. The block is because of my enrollment deposit, WHICH WAS SENT IN TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO. I sent an e-mail to them today, so hopefully something happens. I have a nice orderly schedule set out, and I really hope it isn't FUCKED UP. On top of that, there's little chance of me getting a single next semester. Which, I suppose, isn't surprising. I'll again have to room with someone I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. And inevitably it will be an AWFUL PERSON. I wouldn't mourn all that much, except the system is so fucked up because SO MANY FRESHMEN get singles for NO APPARENT REASON except for the fact that the college admits so many people then so many more are shuffled out because they hate the college, and somehow freshmen are the first people on the queue for singles. Or some shit. OR, LIKE BRENDAN AND HIS FUCKING SOPHOMORE FRIENDS, they make up some BULLSHIT "special house" and choose their rooms before anyone else, COMPLETELY UNDESERVEDLY. I'm not as angry at Brendan for this, because he's a Junior and deserves the single I'd say, BUT NOT HIS SOPHOMORE FRIENDS.

Alright, I'm going to go do my homework WHILE I'M STILL IN A GOOD MOOD.

In Which the Militsia Stop an American

14.11.2008

So today was ... interesting. Last night after writing my entry about having no friends I contacted Yura and we decided to get together, today. But, for most of the day I sat in the Smolny office and did research for a presentation I have in a few weeks. Yura called me at around 5, and we met up in front of the Petrogradskij metro. He had with him a friend, whose name was Sasha. (COINCIDENCE?! Yeah, probably, since EVERYONE HERE IS NAMED SASHA. Or, at least, everyone named "Aleksandr" or "Aleksandra") I couldn't tell if they were TOGETHER (as in dating) or not -- But that doesn't mean anything because I'm in Russia and I'm sure people try to mask it. Of course, I wasn't able to tell if he and Andrei were together when I first met then, too, until Andrei told me they were, and that was in a gay club. I think he and Andrei broke up, though -- I haven't asked. I know they got into a fight that night. BUT IN ANY CASE. This Sasha fellow was quite attractive. A красавец, if you will.

But in any case, we basically walked a circle around the Petrogradskij island and talked, which was thoroughly enjoyable. Apparently, this is a very Russian thing to do, even in bad weather, because it doesn't cost any money. Going out to eat is really expensive here. Actually, pretty much everything except public transportation is really expensive here. Really, not much of anything to say about that. We walked, we talked, and that was that. He's supposed to call me to go out tomorrow or Sunday, again, so we'll see what happens.

But, while we were approaching the metro, we were stopped by two militsia, and asked for our documents... I didn't say anything, so they didn't know I was American until they looked at my passport. He didn't even really look at my documents -- I think he was surprised and taken offguard. He just looked at the top of my (folded) multi-pass visa, which only says my name, date of birth, and country... he didn't look at the bottom part, which shows what dates I'm allowed to be here, and my photo, or anything else. He handed it back and saluted, then turned and whispered something to the other officer, who was checking Yura's and Sasha's documents. That officer handed back their documents, saluted, then they walked off. Apparently they usually try to extort money, but I guess I was lucky... Sasha and Yura whispered something to eachother, then Sasha asked to see my passport. I'm assuming just to see what a US passport looks like (except, I just carry a copy with me). He was surprised about something, but I'm not sure. After that, they went off, and I went to meet Elizabeth and Bryan for dinner.

And that was pretty much it for today. Bryan told me of a few clothing stores here that sell Russian-designed stuff, so I want to stop by those sometime and see if there's anything decently interesting. I think the idea of Russian fashion just kind of passed me by completely -- I figured they just went off the French and Italian trends or something, like the rest of Europe. Who knows. We'll see. Going to an Indian restaurant with Maneka + others, tomorrow, then the BLACK PARTY at Central Station! So tomorrow should be great.

EXCEPT I HAVE A TEST ON FUCKING MONDAY. I fucking hate my Grammar in Situations class. It's absolutely absurd. Mostly because of the professor. I can't stand that professor. Yargh.

One cultural note: I feel like the Russian "group of friends" is a really powerful social unit, here... Usually they're in pairs, but I notice higher frequencies of threes and fours on the evenings and weekends. I don't know, I just feel such a level of closeness when passing or just seeing these groups of people that isn't normally attained in America. It's strange. I'm not sure how to describe it, really.

16.11.2008

Yesterday I had planned on shopping, then going out to eat for Maneka's birthday, and staying out all night at Central Station. Also possibly planned on going out with Yura if he ended up calling me. Very little of this actually happened, but FIRST, something I forgot to mention on Friday's entry.

When I was out walking with Yura and Sasha, we stopped in a little gift shop because I guess Sasha needed to buy a Christmas/New Year's gift for someone. I mentioned off-hand that I, too, needed to buy gifts for friends and family in America. Well, the store didn't have what Sasha was looking for (I think), so they forced me to look around... There really wasn't anything interesting in the least, except some neat stuff that I would buy if I didn't have to CAREFULLY PACK IT AND LUG IT HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD, NO EXAGGERATION. Fancy glass hourglasses and such. There were some neat opera glasses I almost bought, but I didn't know to whom I would give them, plus I didn't have enough money on me. But in any case, Yura saw a chess board IN WHICH ALL THE PIECES WERE SHOTGLASSES, and suggested I take that to America. And he wasn't joking. It was like, the tackiest, trashiest thing I've ever seen, but apparently to a Russian this is a good idea for a gift. I could imagine being in the mall with Brendan, Jen, and Sarah, seeing this in like Spencer's Gifts or something and joke about buying it for about five seconds and moving on.

But anyway, back to Saturday. I ended up staying in almost all day, on and off doing work and taking naps (I have been sickeningly tired all the time this past week). I didn't really feel like shopping, so I didn't call Emma, and decided we could go if she called me, which she didn't. And Yura never called. So, in I stayed. I did go with Maneka and friends, though, to dinner, AND IT TOOK SOME CONVINCING TO TATYANA TO NOT FEED ME BEFORE I WENT. Good lord.

Dinner was fantastic – We went to an Indian restaurant, which was entirely EMPTY when we got there. It was a really nice place, though. We ordered a bunch of different food and shared it all amongst ourselves. And it was delicious. An older American couple who had very heavy Minnesota accents came and sat a table over from us, and I was the only one who was able to tell that they were speaking English, which was kind of sad. Illana ordered a birthday icecream surprise for Maneka, in which they gave the rest of us normal icecream, then turned the lights down and brought out a plate of icecream for Maneka, along with a ladle of ALCOHOL, which they SET ON FIRE and POURED IN A CIRCLE around the icecream. It was class. Blue flames were racing a circle around the icecream for like ten seconds.

After that we were going to go to a bar or something but instead we all got lazy and dispersed to our respective homes. I actually walked halfway to Central Station, first, but then decided I'd rather just go home and turned around. It was a good decision. I had a hard enough time waking up at 11:30 after getting home and going to bed. I'd have been asleep all day if I went out.

And I had perfect timing when I got home, too! Kill Bill was on, and I've been wanting to rewatch that movie for a while now. It had pretty damn good dubbing, too. In that the English audio track was not present, and the voice actors actually acted. Quite melodramatically, but the actual actors are melodramatic in that movie anyway. The only annoying part is that the Japanese audio track was there, and one stupid man was doing ALL the dubbing for the Japanese, in a MONOTONE voice. But oh well, can't win everything. Oh, and Bill had a CREEPY ass voice.

... So, my plans for today? Lay around and do work and nap on and off. Yep.

... And apparently find a weird as HELL show. Or, well, it's not a show, but some sort of ... games... reporting thing. Like, I don't know what the hell it is, but this is the second time I've seen it on TV. Some sort of games series in which Russia, China, Kazakhstan and the U.S.A compete. Yes, America. What the hell? The games are like one big joke; everything is all cartoony and strange. But it's all also pretty dangerous and difficult. When I turned the TV on they had a ring with a tree and fake bananas in the centre, and a wild bull running around... Teams of two had to get the most amount of bananas out of the ring. Alright, simple so far. So, both members of each team are dressed up in APE SUITS and one had to WHEELBARROW HIS PARTNER to the centre, without getting GORED BY THIS BULL, and his partner has to climb up the tree, fetch a banana, then drop back down into the wheelbarrow to take the banana back to the edge of the ring. And this continued for a while, with a few near-deaths.

The second game... racers had to HOP ON A CONVEYOUR BELT that was GOING BACKWARDS, while CLOWNS popped out of a CARTOON HOUSE and HIT THEM IN THE FACE WITH PIES.

The third game, another ring with a bull. This time, two people had to race... while wearing PEA TIN CAN costumes, go to the centre, gather as many PEAS as they can (which were big fluffy green balls), and return to the edge of the ring WITHOUT GETTING GORED BY THIS BULL.

And then people had to race on this gigantic cartoony colorful obstacle course dressed up as GIGANTIC ROOSTERS and do something I didn't quite understand.

I am in awe. Does anyone know if these games are covered in the U.S., too? It's kind of a strange mix of countries... the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation and ... the U.S.? What the hell?

In Which I Don't Know What's Going On

13.11.2008

So today was far more productive in its original principle than it turned out to be. Yeah, I skipped classes. Don't regret that. Slept a bit more. Went to the library a bit later than I had intended. Did a tad bit of work. Spent an absurd amount of time on the computer doing ... I'm not sure what? Oh well.

Oh, and, uh, on the news this morning I saw a story on the news that was showing newspapers from the New York Times with headlines saying "IRAQ WAR ENDS, Troop Withdrawal to Begin Immediately" and "Former President George W. Bush Indicted for High Treason." I wasn’t really paying attention to what was being said, though, so I looked all over a few major news sites for these stories and found absolutely nothing ... ? I'm starting to think that I dreamed this up. Which kind of scares me because I was entirely convinced of it all day until I just started writing it, here, which is absurd since Bush is STILL the president and the chance of troop withdrawal this soon is zero to none, not to mention I don't think anyone is indicted for "high treason" in this day and age. That kind of scares me -- Am I really that detached from reality?

There are many times when I feel this country is beyond description. I do very little justice in my cultural comparisons, really. And I usually feel this while walking across that damned bridge to Bobrinskij. I hate that damned bridge. It's too long, and it's cold and windy. I can't wait until the rain starts freezing on it, and then I SLIP and FALL into the Neva and DIE. Looking forward, I am.

I really want to go to Dolche & Gabbana and just try on all their clothes. And march around. And be obnoxious. But I can't convince anyone to go with me. Because I'm sure as hell not going to do that by myself.

I remember a lot of people asking if I were going to be fluent in Russian by the end of my study abroad. I also remember several people in the program, during orientation, stating one of their goals as "being fluent" by the end of the semester. In both instances I was somewhat mortified, and was wondering if I was being hard on myself/if my expectations were off, or if everyone's idea of either fluency or language acquisition was just completely fucked. I've come to realise that it's definitely the latter. I mean, when I first came I was having a lot of frustrations with the language merely because I thought I knew more than I did, but after a few weeks I was over that. I've heard many people in the program complain, though, that they're never going to learn the language, etc... I don't know, I just thought that was somewhat interesting. I'm also interested in seeing how much Sarah and Anndal have improved in Italian and French, since those languages are much much closer to English than Russian is, and a great deal easier to acquire. Of course, THEY'RE PROBABLY SPEAKING THEIR LANGUAGES MORE THAN I AM, TOO. SO, THERE IS THAT.

My main 'regret,' really, is that I didn't make one decent friend while here. I mean, outside of the program. I've met several fantastic Americans here, with whom I plan on continuing correspondance after I've already left. BUT, that's not why I came here. I mean, I'm already disappointed with the LACK of speaking that I'm doing, here [Though, I did have a great conversation with Liza, today, so that was good]. It's just so damned difficult to make friends. I knew it would be, but the Russian closedness has proven even more difficult to deal with than I originally thought. I think I've already gone into this, though, so I won't bother again.

One thing I'm not looking forward to upon returning to Goucher is the fact that I WON'T HAVE A SINGLE. I'll probably be thrown into a room with four other people that was meant for TWO. But in all seriousness, I really don't think I can live with anyone next semester, unless they happen to be Brendan, Jen, or Sarah, none of which are going to happen, clearly. I'm terrified of what may happen.

Know what I want? A milkshake. Or a strawberry smoothie. Mmm, that sounds good...

I'm going to get a mullet.


P.S.: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7728407.stm I died.

In Which Things Are Weird

12.11.2008

Today was just a weird day. When I woke up, there was no sign of Tatyana, which was bizarre since I didn't wake up particularly late. Then, while eating and getting ready to leave, I kept smelling wifts of something rotting. It smelled like a dead animal. Which freaked me out, because I thought Mysh might've choked herself to death on something or somesuch and was hiding dead in a corner. Then, when I was leaving, a woman's dog tried to attack me on the steps of the apartment, but, she held it back, plus it had a muzzle on. But still, it was unnerving. Then when I came home tonight the woman was leaving with her damned dog. I stayed clear.

After that... I noticed that ... it was very quiet, for some reason. I could hear my own footsteps when I crossed the street. It was just a very eerie silence, and it unsettled me a little bit. So throughout the day I had an impending sense of DOOM, so to speak.

That... was pretty much it. I thought I had more to say, but apparently not.

I learned about the breakup of Yugoslavia and the "War of All against All" today. That was exciting, since I didn't know much about the topic beforehand.

Uhm, I thought I had more to say... But I can't remember anything.

Apparently I spoke too soon when I said I fought back illness -- I'm still fighting. And it seems I've unfortunately developed a cough, plus a sinus headache earlier today. No good. No good at all. I don't want to waste the little remaining time I have on being ILL. I still have so much more to do!

I'm making a conscious decision to skip classes, tomorrow. I hate both of the classes, and I just don't feel like I can put up with them, tomorrow. Nor do I want to do the homework, tonight. I kept switching back and forth in my decision, because I feel really uncomfortable skipping class, but I decided I'll just go to the Smolny library tomorrow and do work all day. Indeed, that would actually be more productive than going to class, sadly.

I was going to try to apply to be a CA at Goucher, but then I realised that I can't 'attend the winter retreat' from January 23rd to 24th. Of course, they might not even have let me apply since I'm abroad and they seem to want a lot of person-to-person contact with the applicants beforehand. Which is unfortunate. The idea of lording over other students and having the ability to get angry with jackasses who are too loud was appealing for about two seconds. Alas.

As for language things, I feel like I could speak Russian better two weeks ago than I can right now... I don't know, maybe I've just been completely out of it all week. I'm not sure what's happening, but it's mildly distressing. On top of that, I really feel like I'm missing a LOT of basic vocabulary and basic constructions, or, I KIND of know them, but can't use them, or don't understand them enough and try to use them anyway but completely fail.

I've also been feeling a little homesick, recently. Not really in that I DON'T want to be here, so much as I DO want to be HOME. As in, I'm ready to leave now. I'm not really in a bad mood -- I'm excited to go out and do things. I'm just MORE excited that I get to go home soon enough. ... Soon eenough being like.. a little less than two months. BUT apparently RSL ends in like five weeks. Which means only five more of each class. Thank god. I realised that I get like half a month of free time to wander around St. Petersburg and such, which is fantastic. I plan on visiting Finland and the Baltic states during that period. Which is exciting, because that will be my first foray into the EUROPEAN UNION! Apparently, Helsinki is really interesting because it has very similar architecture to St. Petersburg, since, you know, Finland was a part of the Russian Empire during that time, but everything else is just entirely different. What kind of makes me uncomfortable, though, is that I will have to speak English with everyone, which makes me feel like a stupid American for the most part. I mean, I COULD speak Russian with them, but apparently they don't like it very much. For understandable reasons. We'll see. It'll be an interesting experience.

In Which a Paper is Written

11.11.2008

I think I somehow dodged the illness that was developing by overdosing on vitamin C. Or something. My developing phlegm and sore throat from yesterday has completely disappeared. But, instead, I feel completely exhausted and fuzzy-headed for no reason.It's been like that all day.

Both classes were pretty awful as I kept zoning out and making a fool of myself when called on to answer something. In Razgovornaia, we had to translate things from Russian to English, which iss the first time we've had an exercise like this, and when I did my part, the professor said, "Eric... I think this is the first time I've heard you speak English. And, you speak in a higher tone in Russian... I think that might be a problem from having all female teachers. You might want to try to talk deeper in Russian." Which is strange, because I thought I spoke deeper in Russian. Or something. I don't know. APPARENTLY NOT.

Other than that I have no updates for today. Except, the kassa at the metro today got really pissed off when I handed her 502 rubles for 6 tokens (6 tokens cost 102 rubles, so I was TRYING to be nice and save her the extra change-counting with that extra two rubles). Apparently she didn't like having to count out four 100-ruble notes? I don't know. Absurdity.

Not looking forward to dinner tonight.

Have to write my paper tonight. Actually I should've already started that but I'm procrastinating.Where the hell did my time management go? There was once a time when I would have a paper like this finished days in advance so I could just go over it. Granted, it was assigned last wednesday, so I've had little time, but still. I don't know.

Also, I've noticed that the men here, like the women, wear really cool boots. Some of them, anyway. So now I want to find a fashionable pair of man-boots. Maybe it's a winter thing? I need to successfully go shopping sometime soon. AND SPEND MONEY. BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY WHAT I NEED TO DO. PUMP MONEY INTO THE RUSSIAN ECONOMY. GOOD IDEA, ERIC.

Alright, I need to go do work.

Post-Paper Writing:

Alright, so, that was just plain awful. I somehow actually managed to pump out five pages (1.5 spacing... wait, holy shit, I just wrote a six page paper in one day?). I hope they weren't supposed to be GOOD. When we were originally warned of his mid-term, I didn't think much of it... Five page paper in a week? No problem. But I didn't take into account research... and formulation... And the fact that I have other crap I need to do, too. So basically that was three days of SEARCHING for research, three days of ANALYSING AND NOTATING said research, and a day of actually writing the paper. Good christ. I'm glad I didn't have MUCH ELSE that I needed to do, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to finish it.

BED TIME,.

In Which I am Useless

10.11.2008

So, today was basically just all around no good, and terribly unproductive. First off, both my classes didn't go well, which is disappointing because usually I enjoy myself in both of them. They still haven't turned on the heat in Bobrinskij, and it's colder in that fucking building than it is outside. So, I was sitting in the library trying to work, and gave up because I just couldn't concentrate, and after that I had to go to my class, in the COLDEST ROOM IN THE BUILDING, and I didn't understand anything there, nor could I respond to anything. Then he gave me my paper topic, which is just too dumb to even write out here. I'm going to try and get that changed, actually.

And in the middle of all this I realised that my OTHER paper is due on Wednesday. I've finished all the research and I have a vague idea of what I want to write... Granted, it's very short -- 5-7 pages. But that's 1.5 spaced, and not double spaced, so I'm not really sure how huge of a change that will be. Of course, I'm sitting here writing for personal reasons instead of doing my homework, in the first place (and on top of the paper I have to get coursework done for tomorrow). I mean, it's really not that MUCH, but I'm feeling awful rright now so I may as well blame it on something.

I think I need to go on a detox from Tatyana's food. I mean, usually it's not that bad, and sometimes it's great... But recently, it's been almost intolerable. Strangely, though, none of it has CHANGED -- it's the same stuff she's always given me, so maybe it's my own personal problem. Well, EXCEPT for this TERRIBLE soup she gave me yesterday, which was less "soup" and more "a couple sliced potatoes thrown in to cooking grease." I could barely choke it down, and then follow it with dry penne, an unidentifiable slab of breaded meat, and cheesey chicken. Which I actually didn't finish. For desert I had a slice of them that, I think, had begun fermenting.

Also, I think I'm getting sick. Which is really the last thing I need right now. I'm sure I'll be subject to countless home remedies if I do become ill...

I've noticed that the cultural notion that women always go first is quite strong here. On the elevator, this morning, I was standing closest to the door, as I had been the last to get on the elevator, so when we reached the ground floor, I figured I would... you know... walk out of the elevator first. since I was by the door. Well, as I was moving to do so, this woman shoved me out of the way to get out of the elevator first. Not in any particular HASTE, you see... Just to get out before me. This has happened several times.

Alright, I have to take another moment to complain about Bobrinskij. Not only does it not have heat, but EVERY TIME I am in that building, the electricity goes out at least once. AND I'M THERE THREE TIMES A WEEK. Today, the electricity went out FOUR TIMES. And for some reason, every time the electricity goes out, the surge protectors on all the computers start periodically screeching. It's actually kind of terrifying, since I have class there so late -- So, the electricity goes out, I'm standing in a dark hallway, all I can see is a lit-up green sign that says "ВЫХОД" (exit) somewhere in the distance, and all I can hear is this random SCREECHING coming from all the rooms.

And that's really all I have for today.

In Which the Metro is the Place to Be

08.11.2008

So, I was sitting in the kitchen yesterday, contentedly eating my breakfast blins, with the TV in the background. I was sort of half-watching the TV, which was playing this awful show in which a poor woman marched up and down a runway in front of a live audience and a panel of judges who proceeded to tear her apart. Suddenly, I hear a rather strange construction... "очень неплохо" (ochen' neplokho - very not bad). At first, I didn't really think anything strange had happened. Then ... I started thinking about the phrase in English. Very not bad? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I guess a better translation would be "not bad at all!" or something.

Odd metro moments this weekend: When I was going to Central Station on Saturday: As I was waiting for the metro, this woman about my age comes up, and she's dressed mildly "gothy," I suppose, and seems terribly bad-tempered. Well, we get on the same car, and sit across from eachother, and she kept staring at me. Of course, I NOTICED she was staring at me, so I looked at her, and she immediately averted her eyes and started giggling to herself. I was like "wtf?" and this happened at least five times. She was pretending to read a book, but she kept looking up at me. When the train got to Gostinyj Dvor, I was terrified that she was going to follow me off the car and ask for my number, or something, so I kind of RAN off the train onto the platform. She didn't follow.

On the way back from Central Station, Sunday morning: We came to a stop, and when the doors open, three drunk Russian guys came in. In UNISON, they sat down on a seat, and they all leaned over in the same direction on each others' shoulders and went to sleep. It was amusing. I wish I had my camera with me.

On the way back from Pikovaya Dama, Sunday night: Maneka and I got on a metro, and at the end of the car (another) drunk Russian guy was rolling around military-style, carrying a nerf gun... When the doors opened he was like peeking out and twirling his gun around, and then the doors closed and he was like “DOORS CLOSED! WE'RE SAFE!” and resumed rolling around the wagon. His friend just sat on a seat playing a guitar and singing.

I've realised that I'm turning in to one of those people I hate so damned much -- CLUB BUNNIES!! Well, maybe not. I'm just going to clubs almost every week... Of course, I'm not really drinking (because it's too expensive) and I don't really have many FRIENDS in said club (more on that in a second). Basically, I just go to dance ... To absolutely horrible music. Which I have come to tolerate, probably through overexposure. I do have to say that I absolutely LOVE the feeling of coming home at 6am, absolutely exhausted from a night of dancing, and going to bed. No joke.

The night was a hell of a lot better than last time, even though I didn't meet anyone. From what I can gather, Fridays are themed "Very Few People" and "Straight Guys Come to Prey on Women and Mock the Gays," while Saturdays have ... more people. I've identified several types of people who go to Central Station:

-Women who want to escape crass men in other clubs
-The straight guys who hear of this refuge and come to prey on said women
-The boyfriends of some of these women
-Massive amounts of stunningly attractive guys with boyfriends who are equally stunningly attractive
-Me
-Random guys who seem to go by themselves week after week, alone (actually, I fit in this category)
-The creepy older men who prey on the random guys, and all of the random guys, excepting myself, seem to enjoy it.

When I first got there I saw this guy who looked EXACTLY like my Human Rights teacher, even in how he was dressed. I started to hide, then I realised it WASN'T him. That was mildly amusing. Then I saw this other guy who had been there last time I went, only, this time, he was dressed a bit better (last time he was wearing a ... tuxedo? I actually thought he was a waiter for the restaurant downstairs, but actually I think he just decided to wear a tuxedo to a club). Well, at least, I THOUGHT he was dressed better, because I thought he had his jeans tucked into neat boots ... but then I looked closer and saw that he was wearing dress shoes with his jeans rolled up, and black argyle socks. (Oh, and he has a massive mullet) OH RUSSIA. Actually, most of the guys with whom I wanted to dance (but didn't, because I'm TERRIFIED OF TALKING TO PEOPLE) had mullets. I'm going to kind of miss the mullets, after I leave. Really, I've gotten to the point where I like them. ... That's kind of sick.

In any case, while on the second dancefloor, I saw someone wearing an ... orange and white trucker's hat? I actually haven't seen one of those since I got in the country -- Baseball caps aren't very popular, here. I looked closer and realised that it was SASHA! He didn't see me, so I spent the better part of two hours thereafter avoiding him. He eventually recognised me while I was dancing, but I made a point to not look in his direction. I retreated downstairs to hide amongst the throng of the people, but after getting tired of that I went back upstairs, thinking it was safe. BUT I WAS WRONG. He intercepted me at the top of the stairs and was like "DO YOU REMEMBER ME?! I CALLED YOU BUT IT DIDN'T WORK." I was like "Yeeeah I recognise you ... maybe the number wasn't right..?" I didn't actually give him a wrong number, but whatever. I pulled out my phone because he wanted my number again, and he just GRABBED it from me and called himself. I guess so I couldn't fool him AGAIN! Then he told me he'd call me and left...? It was kind of strange. Maybe he just wants sex. NOTHX. Maybe if he spoke clearly, were a tad more attractive, didn't dress like an idiot and HAD A MULLET I'd THINK about it. But probably not. He doesn't exactly seem interested in talking, so, whatever.

One thing I noticed was several people wearing sunglasses. In a poorly lit club. I don't think they were wearing them because they were drug users, though. I think they just thought they were cool, or something. One of them was dancing right in the middle of the dance floor, doing all these moves that I'm sure he thought was PRETTY FANCY. I nicknamed him "The King of the Club." He ran into a trashcan later in the night. After that it seemed he started to walk through the club WITHOUT his glasses on (he should have kept them on, though -- he seemed more attractive than with them off). The second was some guy who was alone almost the entire night, and also didn't wear sunglasses unless he was ... alone, dancing in a corner. What a strange fucking country.

The last takes the cake, though. Towards the end of the night there was this massively attractive guy wearing white pants and a button-up shirrt, and, of course, sunglasses. Well, he comes up and starts dancing with a group of four girls, and unbuttons his shirt, then starts lewdly grinding with them. That was mildly disappointing. But ... after that ... He walks off, the girls disperse... he starts dancing again, and this ... MASSIVELY MASSIVELY creeper guy comes up behind him and they start dancing. And making out. That was just horribly horribly revolting. But I guess since the guy was wearing sunglasses he couldn't see anything anyway. And on top of that he was probably drunk.

Oh, and, next week, they're having a ... Black Party? I guess that's supposed to be like the White Party in the U.S., or something. Club theme nights always tend to be ambiguous, though. I'm just going to assume it means there's going to be a lot of black.

Alright, I just spent FAR, FAR too much time talking about Central Station.

Sunday night I went to see Pikovaya Dama/Queen of Spades (opera) at the Mikhailovskij. It was actually fairly awful. All the male roles were just terrible, especially the main one. The lead singer was off key most of the time and his voice was just terribly unpleasant to listen to. The women were pretty awesome, though.

Friday and most of Saturday I worked on my Russia/U.S.A. Mid-term, which I'm doing on the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. But I'm not going to talk about that because this entry is getting absurdly long.

In Which Politics are Discussed

06.11.2008

I feel kind of sick and sad. For many reasons, I'm sure, I don't know. This morning I was in a fine mood -- Only two days of classes, this week, not too much work ... I don't know. Several things changed that mood. School things, the fact that I had two classes I just absolutely hate, and really NOT wanting to learn the language. Then, learning that Proposition 8 passed in California... That just kind of made me sick. Yeah, it passed in a lot of other states, too, and was passed in Kentucky like four years ago, but CALIFORNIA? What the fuck? Who the hell in California DOESN'T have a gay friend? Well, actually, that might be the problem.. I'm just kind of sick right now.

What makes me most angry is not the fact that the proposition itself passed. As far as that goes, that's democracy – Yeah, the system is fucked up, but it's better than most. The minority gets screwed over every now and then. However, the massive amount of PROPAGANDA that was spread against gay marriage just was absolutely terrifying. And of course that was entirely centred around money. Generally, such propositions only receive such media attention when people PAY for that media attention, and those interest groups generally have a lot at stake in said propositions. ... But, who had anything at stake in Proposition 8? Well, those of the same sex who wish to marry or are already married. And that's just about it. So you'd think that most of the money would be flowing in the direction AGAINST proposition 8, yeah? So who the HELL spent SO MUCH MONEY on getting proposition 8 passed? I HONESTLY CANNOT think of a SINGLE interest group who has ANYTHING AT STAKE if gay marriage exists. The church, I guess? But they don't ACTUALLY have anything at stake, and American churches aren't on the scale of companies and other NGOs, in terms of finances. So my only conclusion is that a bunch of crazy ass moralistic rich people emptied their bank accounts to spread lies and propaganda. And THAT is NOT democracy.

In any case, does anyone know if it's possible to change the consitution AGAIN? I don't think that this amendment can be abolished that easily, especially since this has all gone full circle through the state government. I think the only thing that can change it at this point is a federal legalisation of same-sex marriage. Which isn't going to happen any time soon, I don't think.

Well, Tatyana is at least happy over Obama's victory. She was terrified of McCain -- kept going on about how old he was, and how old politicians just need to give up. Probably a phobia developed from living under Brezhnev, Andropov, and that third Soviet leader who only lasted a couple months before he died. I always forget his name. Speaking of Russian leaders, Medvedev' made a speech here a couple days ago... And after reading it, I am quite terrified. I mean, rhetorically, it is completely and totally democratic. But the implications are quite the opposite. He talked about changing the Russian constitution so that the presidential term in the Russian Federation is extended to six years. He said this is in reaction to the financial crisis, in order to create more stability in the country -- And then said that France did the same after World War II, and it worked. The thing is, he is working entirely under the rule of law, which is completely democratic... but... I don't know. One interesting thing is, though, that he is asserting himself as president. I've thought for a while, but now I'm fairly convinced, that Medvedev' is not just a Putin puppet. He is a powerful political figure, and a COMPLEMENT to Putin. The double headed eagle of Russia, I think, is a bit more than symbolic at this point.

Political scientists and human rights activists in Russia are afraid of what the near future holds. The 90's, while full of economic turmoil, was one of the most politically free periods in Russian history -- right next to the 20's, which were also filled with economic turmoil right after the Bolshevik takeover. Then, right after the Bolshevik takeover, the government (AKA Stalin, and even Lenin before him) clamped down on everything once they regained stability. Well, Putin (what the hell is with all the "ins"? Hell, Lenin and Stalin weren't even their real names, but Putin IS his real name.. hmm) has regained stability in Russia, and freedoms have been lost. Which is terribly backwards, in both cases, really, since the usual development of things is a dictatorship during periods of total unstability and a relaxation of restrictions during periods of calm. But Russia's strange. Of course, I wouldn't call the current administration a dictatorship by any means -- just a mild authoritarian regime. In any case, any time the U.S. criticises Russia of human rights abuses, the human rights situation here actually becomes more DIFFICULT. (Kate, just out of curiosity, is this the same case with China?) In any case, I have no idea what will happen in the next few years. And neither does anyone else. I've had this discussion with Professor Vertkin, Andrei Vladimirovich, and Darya Bolotovna, or at least heard them speak of it, and NO ONE has any predictions for the future, which is especially strange since they're all political scientists, and usually political scientists have a prediction for everything, no matter how unfounded it might BE. The only things I've garnered are that Communism is gone forever, nationalism is on the rise for no particular reason, and the government is up to something.

On a more local level, I have to say that I feel more secure, here, when there are old women around. And less secure when there are police around. Here's why: Police extort people, and can basically do whatever they want. I've been lucky enough to not have been harassed, yet (Probably because I apparently look Russian). But I still get unnerved whenever I pass a policeman. But when I'm around old women? I feel PERFECTLY safe. Mostly because I feel like no one's going to whack someone when an old woman's around. Even the hooligans seem to respect the crazy old ladies.

In Which Moscow is Visited

05.11.2008

Alright, this is going to be one long ass entry, so I'll try to make it as exciting as I can.

Saturday I basically just stayed in, except I went out and bought chocolate for Tatyana since her birthday was on the 4th. Came back and got ready for Moscow...

First ride on a train. Spent the night in a compartment with Bryan, Ilana, and Elizabeth. That was terribly exciting. It was actually a really nice business car. Just a tad cramped, as expected. Unfortunately, I got NO sleep, so when we got to Moscow I was exhausted. At like 6 am ... music started to play over the intercom. Some Soviet ballad. Ilana woke up and said "... Is this a joke?" It was quite fantastic.

Basically we spent the entire day wandering around Moscow on walking tours with the BEST tour guide of all time. He was probably in his 50's and had the best Russian smoker's voice of all time. And he was pretty lewd. We were at a church, and he was talking about the architecture... He was going on about how most say that Russian church architecture was heavily influenced by Mosques, THEN he started talking about how the roots of Russian architecture was in PAGAN PHALLIC CULTURE. And started talking about how the spires and domes of the church resembled a PHALLUS. I DIED LAUGHING. NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTOOD WHY?! I was IN LOVE with this man at this point. He mentioned pagan phallic culture at several other points in the tour, too.

Unfortunately, halfway through the day I got a sinus headache WHICH IS STILL PLAUGING ME AND MAKING ME MISERABLE. I overdosed on Tylenol. Literally.

Also, TWO different restaurants said they didn't have enough tea cups for our group (?!) so apparently they don't drink tea in Moscow, since these fucking restaurants were HUGE. What the hell? In any case, I saw St. Basil's Cathedral and Lenin's Tomb. That was exciting. Though, Lenin's tomb was more like a haunted house than I thought it would be. What I find mildly amusing is that the GUM, which is Russia's largest and most prestigious shopping mall is RIGHT ACROSS Red Square from Lenin's Tomb. LUCKILY, NO ONE CAN SAY HE'D BE ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE. BECAUSE HE'S IN A PERMANENT WAKE. HAHAHAHA! Bastard communists.

My overall impressions of Moscow by the end of the day:
-I was shocked into more appreciation for Petersburg: Moscow is dirtier, more crowded, more SUFFOCATING, and just overall more nerve-wracking than Petersburg
-People are more rude, less attractive, and less well dressed
-Even the stray dogs are rude. I have never been barked at by a stray dog in Petersburg -- Indeed, they are all QUITE SWEET. But while walking down the street in Moscow, a stray dog came out of NO WHERE and started violently barking at me and followed me for like 30 feet. I thought it was going to attack me, but luckily it didn't.
-The metro works on a rather rude principle. See, Petersburg works on a turnstile system -- You insert a token/swipe your card, and you are allowed to pass through the turnstile. Moscow... works on a system of PAIN. You try to walk through, and your legs are CRUSHED by two panels that come out of NO WHERE if you don't swipe your card. I avoided this fate, luckily.
-Something I found interesting, and Emma and I both agree: Many people say St. Petersburg is a very 'European' and "Western' city, while Moscow is more 'Russian.' I am not going to claim to be acquainted with the Soul of Russia!, but I felt Moscow to be more of a modern Western city. By far. If anything, the way Moscow is ORGANISED is European: It's centred around a square. St. Petersburg is centred around a single street. Most European cities are centred around a square. And that very detail determines the organisation of the city, I feel. There were also a hell of a lot more tourists in Moscow, and more foreigners in general (Then again, I was just there on tours and such, so that might be why I thought that)

Basically, by the end of the day, if I could have hopped on a train and go back to Petersburg I would've been happy to do so. But, I'm glad I didn't.

Oh, and, we stayed in a hostel instead of a hotel. I was with Ilana, Emma, E.B. and Vika (the Russian tutor). Blah blah

Next day we took a ttour of the Kremlin. Which was ... much shorter and more boring than I thought it would be? Then we were supposed to take another walking tour along the Arbat and other streets, but we couldn't find our tour guide so we just kind of wandered around. On the Metro, Bryan found a sticker that was making fun of the "День Народного Единства," which was the Russian holiday on the 4th (Day of the People's Oneness... or something... like that). It says, “Мы идем на русский марш, наци - это т-а-а-ак сексуально!" (We’re going to the Russian march, because nation [nationalism] is SOOOOO sexy!) and has a bunch of rainbow colored men wearing bondage harnesses. Basically, the gays of Moscow made a bunch of anti-Nationalist posters and put them all over the metro. I’ll talk more about this later in the entry.

That night we went to a Russian circus, which was right in the heart of the city. I realised I haven’t been to a circus in a hell of a long time. At first I was really apprehensive (USUALLY BECAUSE OF THE MASSIVE ANIMAL ABUSE?!) but this was actually prretty damned awesome. The only part that bothered me was one act where they had bears doing tricks, and ... yeah. But, the first part was a bunch of really hot guys doing neat horse tricks. Then they had a bunch of neat acrobatic things. Then a woman with cats (domestic cats) and that was just boring and dumb. I’m not going to bother describing the rest, but, at the end, their last act was a bunch of men wearing white fur and doing gymnastics with a bunch of white furry SPITZES. IT WAS SO AWESOME, AND ADORABLE. (P.S.: Clowns speaking in Russian are FUCKING TERRIFYING).

After that a few of us went to a nearby cafe, “Shokoladnitsa,” where I had hot chocolate and a slice of honey cake. Which was expensive, but well worth it. Normally I don’t drink hot chocolate ... indeed, I didn’t here, either, but someone told me to order it ... and uh ... Russian hot chocolate ... isn’t like ... Cocoa. It’s MELTED CHOCOLATE In a CUP. it was DELICIOUS. mmm.

Next day was free day, for the most part. I still had a massive headache, and Emma felt like crap, so we wanted to do someething low-key. SOooo ... we took a tour of the metro! And went to 28 different stations. Which were, for the most part, BEAUTIFUL. My favorite stations were Belorusskaya, Kievskaya, and Ploshchad’ Revolutsia. The first two wwere just plain beautiful. Ploshchad’ Revolutsia was neeat because each side of the platform wwas lined with arches and gigantic bronze statues, all depicting some aspect of the “Revolution.” On one side it was military, with many different proletariat-looking revolutionaries carrying primitive grenades and guns and such (One even had a pet dog, and apparently it’s a tradition to pet the dog’s snout for good luck, which I did). The other side was a sort of cultural revolution, with statues reading books, playing sports and... holding children. I don’t know. Anyway, it was fantastic. Many of the metro stations were creatively themed like that -- Mendeleevskaya, for instance, had lighting in the shape of different cells, and then artistic charts of CELL DIVISION on the walls. I won’t go into detail on the rest, because there were just too many stations to do that.

Then that night we went to the Tretyakovskaya Gallery, which was a FANTASTIC art gallery of all Russian art. (Ben, Jenn, I bought you both something, here). Then we went home that night and I died in classes, today.

Alright, so, November 4th: The holiday. There were several different marches in both Moscow and Petersburg, apparently. In Moscow there was a “Nashi” march on Red Square, which is Putin’s youth movement. There were also several neo-fascist marches, and BRYAN SAYS there was a gay right’s march at the same time but I don’t believe him. I’m going to have to find a news article or something. But then again, that sticker Bryan found means there is some sort of effort in that area, in Moscow, anyway.

I have a lot more I want to say, but I can’t remember most of it and I’m getting tired of talking about Moscow already.

I have to write a 5-7 page paper by next Wednesday on the prompt, “What, in your opinion, was the most defining moment of the Cold War?” I’m not 100% sure of what I should write about. I think I’m either going to talk about Malinkov asking the West to invite the USSR into NATO, or .. uhm ... the tragedy in either Hungary or Czechoslovakia (I can never remember which one happened first -- I know it happened in both countries, but yeah). I’m not sure if I can rattle on for seven pages about Malinkov, though. I hate talking about NATO, so maybe that’s out. I don’t know. But I’m going to get started on it, tomorrow.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get many photos of Moscow (mostly because it was HIDEOUS) because I didn’t really FEEL like taking photos most of the time, due to my headache.

Oh, right, so Proposition 8 passed in California... That is ... disappointing. to say the least. And elminates basically any relief I had with the 'democratic' victory. ah well