Travels of a Russian Phallist

In Which the Author is FINISHED!

2008-12-29T05:37:00.001-08:00

25.12.2008

This is actually the first Christmas I've spent with my family. Aaaand I don't really like it.

I mean, I suppose all in all the day wasn't that bad. Perhaps a bit of a waste, but not all bad. There are a few things that really bothered me, but I feel tremendously petty complaining about them.

I woke up at 11:30am (which is far, far too late, but I can never get to sleep, anymore, because of the completely screwed up daylight/lackthereof schedule). Well, I couldn't eat breakfast because Dima was working on something in the kitchen, with the door closed, so I felt tremendously awkward going in and getting in the middle of his business. He didn't even finish that until about 1, so I was sitting in here bitterly complaining to myself for an hour and a half. Which is kind of dumb because if I woke up at a decent hour I probably would've eaten breakfast no problem.

When I did eventually get to go into the kitchen, Tatyana left me a gift with a note! That was a nice surprise. The gift was a little candle with Santa in it ... Perhaps a tad tacky, but it's the thought that counts.

I eventually just went to Smolny and wasted a few hours trying to do a little research for my paper and inevitably getting nothing done. Maneka and I went out after that ... Actually, for about five hours. We went to her apartment for about an hour and just talked and tried to figure out what to do, since it was such an awkward hour as most things were closing, it wasn't quite dinner time yet, and there wasn't anywhere to walk (plus it's -5 centigrade). We eventually went to Cheburechnaya (a chebureki restaurant. Chebureki are fried... dough ... things filled with meat). That was dissatisfying. Actually, I liked the atmosphere of the place, because it was sort of a trashy cheap cafeteria type place so there were groups of middle-aged blue collar Russians sitting around chatting and drinking after work. ... I suppose I don't paint the best picture, but there's that.

We weren't sated, so we went to Chainaya Lozhka after that and ate some bliny and talked for hours. I noticed that the guy who took our orders had the nametag of "Vladimir," and the cashier who took our money had the nametag of "Vlad." I thought this was somewhat strange.

Then I just came home and talked on the phone with my parents for a bit.

I really wanted to take a shower, but unfortunately am unable as Tatyana has clothes hanging up and drying in the shower... So... Yeah. That's actually what is making me feel like crap, because I feel gross and kind of ... down, and I'd like to take a nice relaxing shower. HOWEVER. Many others have much less than I do right now, so I AM BLESSED. With a room. And a meal. And opportunities that others do not have. SO I should not complain. BUT, I am human, and understandably will complain no matter how heavenly my situation might be compared to others.

In other news it is actually very cold in my room, and this might be what is contributing to my lack of sleep. Tomorrow, I plan on going to the Russian Museum with Maneka, and then writing my paper. I'm not terribly worried about my paper, now, since I have a target of THREE! WHOLE! PAGES! because I am an underachiever right now, and Vika said she would proofread it and help me on Monday. My main concern is the oral presentation. Apparently, when most Russians present their papers, they just read the paper directly, and that's that. But from what I've heard they expect more out of the American students, so, I don't know ... We'll see. I also realised that I have no idea how to cite a paper Russian-like? To be perfectly honest, though, I never even submitted a works cited page for my presentation on Ukraine (which, in America, would amount to PLAGIARISM and get me EXPELLED), and I didn't cite a ton of things in my final paper. So it's probably not that big of a deal.

WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS. С РОЖДЕСТВОМ!
26.12.2008

Woke up and took a shower this morning... Then took a nap.. Read a little bit... Then Maneka called me and we headed off to the Russian Museum. Mostly just went for the 20th Century exhibits, since that's really the only part we didn't get to thoroughly see when we went the first time. I spent massive amounts of money in the gift shops for ... gifts ... for people. Actually, I'm pretty much finished with gift shopping as a whole. I still need to buy my dad a thing or two, but other than that, I'm FREEE. Well, I'm not going to really buy much more of anything until I start packing and have an idea of how much room I have. Then, I'm going to go on a massive shopping spree to fill my suitcases. Which might be stupid, BUT HEY, I won't be back for god knows how long.

After the museum we headed over to Shtolle for pirog and tea. That was pleasant. The metro on the way back, however, was quite unpleasant. And the discovery that my heater is not working in my room was also quite unpleasant.

Basically, need to do paper writing, then that's that. Yura invited me to a new years' gathering of his, but Tatyana is saying I should stay in... But she also says that it's up to me ... I'd really like to go to Yura's gathering, because that would be a neat experience. I suppose it would be, here, too, but I feel like I'd feel a little more excluded and awkward, here. So... I don't know. I'm going to call Yura tomorrow and see what he thinks, and what the plans exactly are. We'll see...

27.12.2008

So it's only 5, and I'm bored out of my mind. I kind of want to go out, but that's probably not the best idea. I'm a good ways through my paper, and it's going fast ... Of course, it SHOULD be going 'fast' since my goal is only three pages. Yeah, tiny tiny paper, but not when you're writing in RUSSIAN. In TWO DAYS. And it's an academic paper, clearly, which makes it that much more difficult. At the same time I'm not too terribly worried about it, since Vika agreed to look over it on Monday, with me, so it should be cleaned up then. As of now, it's terrible, of course, but nothing can be done about that.

I called Yura, today, but he didn't answer. Perhaps I'll just end up staying here for New Years.

Speaking of which, I've been seeing people selling light-up horns on the street, here, which confused me. I was thinking that was more of a ... you know ... Halloween thing as opposed to a Christmas thing. But whatever. I just thought it might be due to some strange Pagan tradition or some such. But, Tatyana's younger sister came over with a couple pairs and Tatyana called me in, saying «Look at what we got!» and they were wearing the light-up horns... I was like «Yeah, that's great ... !» not sure what to say, then she said it's the Year of the Bull. SO. Now it makes sense. Kind of. I'm not sure by WHAT calendar it is the Year of the Bull.. Since clearly it isn't the lunar new year ... But whatever. Then she put them on Mysha and she ran around the house.

Alright, so, I just watched the MTV European Music Awards (or at least some of them), and my first WTF is: Why the fuck was that completely dominated by American music acts? Is Europe THAT devoid of any half-decent popular music? Jesus Christ. My second WTF: Katy Perry's voice is SO fucking processed it's kind of sick. I mean, her songs are catchy, I will say, as horrid as the lyrics and even worse the messages are. But her singing LIVE? THAT, friends, is UNBEARABLE. Good lord. Third WTF: I actually like some of Dima Bilan's music, BUT FOR GOD'S SAKES END IT WITH 'BELIEVE.' Actually, most of his songs in English are fairly terrible, but that one just takes the cake. The first time I heard him was in EuroVision, with that song, and I automatically hated him until I came here and heard some of his Russian music. Which isn't half-bad for popsa.

28.12.2008
So last night was basically awful. I couldn't get to sleep until after 4am. At 4am, I heard Tatyana rummaging around and telling Dima to get up because someone was coming. Shortly afterward, his cell phone started to ring and he answered it, then someone opened the door. There were a new pair of shoes at the doorway, today, but I haven't seen anyone in the apartment other than Dima and Tatyana, so either this mysterious person has been sleeping for god knows how long, or the shoes aren't even theirs. Who knows.

Then, I woke up and was BLINDED by some strange light coming through the window. After a moment of confusion, I opened the curtains fully and realised... IT WAS THE SUN! I was so excited. But then I got pissed off because I realised I had to stay in and write my paper, and by the time I finished the sun would probably set. THEN, I turned on the TV and saw that, despite the sun, it was -5 degrees, soo.... I thought it better that I admire the sunrays from inside.

While writing my paper, Mysha decided to jump on the bed and stand on my keyboard, which fucked something up, and I couldn't type my paper up because the keyboard was half broken. After a while of fiddling around I got it to work, though. I threw Mysha off the bed, but she kept coming back and trying to jump up, so I ended up having to chase her out of the room.

THEN. After writing my paper, I realised .... I am finished. This semester is finished. What. The fuck? It's bizarre --- I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I should be working on SOMETHING, I should be worrying about SOMETHING. Then again, in truth, I'm not really entirely finished. I still have to present my paper tomorrow, which I sorely don't want to do, especially since the last half of it is total shit since I seriously just did not want to write it at that point. Three and a half pages!! Tiny, tiny, I know. Still. It's something.

I called Yura, and uhm... He said he works on the 31st, and that I could go to his house with Sasha and decorate a tree in the morning ... ? Maybe I didn't understand correctly. Sounds mildly strange to me. But he said he's going to call me at 11. I think I'm going to go ahead and spend New Years with them and not here, because to be perfectly honest I don't particularly want to sit around reading the Bible with a family of Russians on New Years. I probably wouldn't understand anything anyway, since I'm not up on my Orthodox Bible vocabulary.

Went to Shtolle with Maneka again, ate pie, then went to Pizza Hut for dinner. ... Again. We need to stop eating there. What the hell? Anyway, we had the same waitress, which was mildly awkward.

... AAAH I GO TO LITHUANIA AND LATVIA THIS WEEK.

Actually, I just realised, that this might be my last entry before I leave Russia. I don't know when I'm going to next have access to the internet. Maybe I'll drop in at MCDONALD'S before I leave to utilise their services. Or something. Or I'll just wait and upload the rest of my journal when I return home.

BY THE WAY. I spoke with my parents today, and my father got my mother a PS3 for Christmas. What in the name of God?

In Which Things are Bought

2008-12-25T04:00:00.001-08:00

24.12.2008

Wow, it's Christmas eve. Someone actually pointed this out to me and it didn't quite hit me until later. AND MY PARENTS HAVEN'T CALLED ME. Oh well, they'll probably call me tomorrow.

Today was somewhat interesting. I guess. I had to go to Bobrinskij to turn in my paper. Which I did. And then he had each of us go in one at a time and explain to him what our papers were about. Then he told us our grades. Well, he said, 'barring any unforeseen surprises' in the papers. Aaand he said I will probably get an A. Which is nice, since I worked hard in that class all semester. And I loved it. I learned a lot, personally, as well as academically, I suppose. Before I came here, I really didn't have a firm idea about the affairs and relations between Russia and the US. Now I feel like I really know what I'm talking about, and I'm passionate about it. That's always good.

After that I went to Smolny to do research for my Human Rights paper. I got a lot more than I expected that I would. I'm going to shoot for three pages with this paper. Yeah, it's tiny, but it's in Russian. And it actually kind of worries me, because Olga only wrote five pages for her Russia/USA paper, and her English is excellent. I mean, she plans on going to the Central European University in a couple years, so for god's sakes... I don't know. She probably had a lot other stuff going on, though, while I really have nothing to worry about for the next ... Well, until I have to pack up to go home, really. What makes me worried is that I actually have no one to look over my paper before I turn it in, so grammatical mistakes are going to be atrocious. Andrei Vladimirovich is really patient, though, and seems to like me, so, that's good.

Speaking of that particular professor, we're getting together before the oral exam on Monday. I told him I wanted to discuss the state of human rights in relation to gays in Russia today, and he said we could get together for coffee on Monday and discuss. I don't like coffee, but that's beside the point. So I'm really looking forward to that. I hope I understand whatever he happens to say sufficiently. It took a bit of courage for me to even ask him, but I figure since he's a HUMAN RIGHTS professor in Russia's ONLY liberal arts college, he can't be THAT reactionary for god's sakes.

After I finished up at Smolny, I decided to go out and do gift buying because I didn't feel like going straight home and moping around. Clearly I can't say exactly what I bought, BUT ....

IRISHKA AND SARAH - DO NOT READ THIS PART IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW YOUR GIFTS WERE ACQUIRED. I can retell the story to you when I give you said gifts.

So, I went to Indigo, which is the queer-themed store on Nevsky (Amusing note: they have a sign right next to the metro that says "Индиго: Необычный магазин для особенных людей" -- Indigo: Unusual store for specific people). I just kind of looked around at what they had, and wasn''t really sure what to buy. Well, I go up to the front, where the two cashiers were, and asked them what I should buy "for two lesbian friends in America, one of whom can read Russian because she's Ukrainian." While I'm asking my question, they both start grinning, either because they were excited that some foreigner was shopping around in their little store, or because my Russian is terrible and I'm a stupid American. This adorable guy (WHO, by the way, I wish had shown up in my life THREE MONTHS EARLIER) immediately leads me through the store to the lesbian bookshelf and starts giving me book after book after book, talking about each of the authors and saying which city they're from, and so forth. He was completely at a loss as to what to give a non-Russian reading lesbian, however, so, oh well about that. I shopped around a little bit more and came across a book called "69 Russian Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transsexuals" (in Russian, of course) and immediately grabbed that. They tried to pawn off some tremendously expensive gay-themed jewelery to me, and I was like, "uhm, I'll look around a little bit first." Then, when I was making my purchases (which came to 799 rubles), I handed her a 1000, and she gave me too much change. I think she thought I was trying to cheat them when I tried to explain that the change wasn't correct, then I showed her the check and what she had given me and she was tremendously grateful for my honesty. So, that was a very pleasant shopping experience. Actually, probably one of the most pleasant I've had, here.

IRISHKA AND SARAH. You may read now.

In terms of gifts, I only have to buy both mom and dad one more thing each, and then.. Aislyn's ring, a couple small things for a few people, aaaand something else. I'm kind of worried as to suitcase limit, though. I'm not sure if I'll have enough room. I SHOULD ... But who knows. I'm going to wait until I'm packed to make my last shopping trips.

After that, I went to the dorms to say goodbye to people, since half the program is leaving tonight.

Oh, and a button fell off my jacket, today. I think I'm going to go sew that on, now...

In Which A Song Is Stuck in the Head

2008-12-24T01:15:00.001-08:00

23.12.2008

Я назову планету именем твоим! Ты любовь моя, ты любовь мояяяя!!

Song. Stuck in head. For eternity. YARGH.

So I also have a toothache that is bothering me, and I'm chewing gum to satisfy that. Perhaps that's an awful method to treat a toothache, but I care not. I went to Pizza Hut (ПИЦЦА ХАТ!!) for the THIRD TIME, today. Maybe I should try to eat ethnic cuisine while I am abroad? .... Nah.

I woke up at HALF PAST NOON today, which is NOT what I had in mind. Indeed, it is 7pm and I still haven't started on my paper. Well, I mean, I have a little over five pages written so perhaps it is not fair to say that I "haven't started" on it. But I haven't started on FINISHING it. I think it's going to end up being one of those things where I'll go to write the last big chunk, and it'll get out of control and I'll end up writing 20 pages because I didn't get to finish saying what I wanted to say in the 10 page minimum. I think that's happened the last two major papers I've had to write. Which I suppose isn't necessarily bad, but it doesn't leave much time for else.

Can I admit something? Every time I read something about cooperation between the BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India, China) it instills a *little* terror in me. Because I really think that cooperation is going to spell the death of American hegemony in world politics some time in the not-too-distant future. Especially if the US doesn't get its shit together. And I'm not going to say that the US will get its shit together under Obama, because I have to say that I have a hard time believing that he's going to get half of what he says he's going to do, done. Simply because ... well ... I don't think he CAN. And who knows what the GLOBAL! FINANCIAL! CRISIS! will do. If it's as bad or perhaps worse than what some economists are projecting, then I'm sure it'll be somehow blamed on 'democratic politics' and it'll just start the whole terrible process all over again. But then again, maybe I shouldn't worry about any of this, since the chances of the world becoming completely inhabitable within the next 20 years are more likely than anything else.

After that cheery forecast... Hm. I guess I don't have much else to say other than what I have already said. I'm kind of tired.. hm .... Maneka and I printed out bus tickets and made hotel reservations, so everything in terms of Latvia and Lithuania should be dandyriffic.

In Which I am Too lazy and don't want to title

2008-12-23T04:37:00.001-08:00

22.12.2008

Today wasn't quite as productive as I wanted it to be, but it started well. I woke up, and after breakfast I was feeling in a “productive” mood so I immediately got my laptop out to write a bit before running off to Bobrinskij to do computing things and preparation for the seminar tonight. Cranked out a page and a half in no time at all, then went out.

Took a few pictures of the Neva this afternoon, and I'm hoping they turned out well. I also realised that the HOMOSEXUAL ART EXHIBITION in Bobrinskij is also loaded onto the internet, so I'll provide a link to that sometime soon. (maybe with this entry?!)

I fell once on 8th line today, on my way to the palace, and then almost fell five more times after the bridge. I realised why I stopped wearing my combat boots in the ice – THEY HAVE NO TREAD. Later in the evening, when coming back, I fell at the EXACT same place on 8th line, even though I was being careful aand thinking to myself, “I fell here earlier today... I need to watch my STEEEEP -fall-” Mildly humiliating.

By the time I got to Bobrinskij I actually felt like crap and had a light head. I think these mid-day dizzy spells and feeling-like-shit-ness are all due to me not eating lunch. WHAT A REVELATION. I don't really ever have the time, though. Nor is it ever convenient to try and run off to lunch somewhere, since Bobrinskij has nothing but vending machines. I did as much 'preparing' as I could have, which wasn't very much. Then I contemplated asking Andrei Vladimirovich if I could skip out on the final paper since I am the ONLY STUDENT WHO DID ANY WORK IN THE ENTIRE CLASS THE ENTIRE SEMESTER, NO EXAGGERATION, NO JOKE. NOT TO MENTION THE ONLY STUDENT WHO WAS NEVER LATE AND AT EVERY CLASS. AND WAS THERE SINCE THE BEGINNING (Since Anya joined three weeks in and Anzor joined NINE weeks into the class). Absolutely ridiculous. But then apparently he said we're MEETING NEXT WEEK to turn in our papers and PRESENT THEM ORALLY. Oh my GOD what an AWFUL set of circumstances that is. But I'll survive. I JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW WHAT I'LL BE DOING THIS weekend. The bad thing is is that I'll be writing a raw paper and won't be able to have anyone look over it before I turn it in. No good at all. We'll see what happens.

So, today, no one really seemed to know anything about the Vologda and Novgorod regions (our assignment was of course to research these two regions and write a little on the 'economic openness' and such), except for me, since I had prepared junk on them, so he forced me to explain everything. Again. Which was awful. I don't know how I can say ANYTHING. Argh. Whatever. Done.

After that went to the end of semester dinner. That was good because Maneka and I just kind of sat in the corner and made fun of everyone. I was perhaps a bit more loud about it than I usually am, and apparently E.B. (YES, I KNOW YOU SOMETIMES MIGHT READ THIS) and Matt were saying that I am INSECURE. I don't really know where that one came from.

And now here I am, home, tired, full of food ... Oh well shit, I planned on writing aa bit on my paper, and I was wondering why the hell I am so tired. It's 12:30am. I was going to nap then write a couple pages. WELP. That's not going to happen. Guess I'll have to cram the last five pages in tomorrow. No big deal, though. ALMOST FINISHED!!

In Which the Opera is Attended, Again

2008-12-22T04:08:00.001-08:00

18.12.2008

Today I realised that I have never so much as LOOKED at the Bronze Horseman. Which is quite sad, since it is one of the most famous statues in all of Petersburg.

Well, that's a lie. I have glanced at it, before. But I didn't know it was the Bronze Horseman. I saw it, and all I could think was "Ew, that is a hideous statue" and just walked on. Today, I received a farewell postcard from the program managers that featured the Bronze Horseman on the front, and I was like, "OMG, THAT'S the Bronze horseman?" Yeah, alright, call me uncultured. I don't care.

I had my final two exams, today -- SMI and Phonetics (EVERY TIME I GO TO SPELL THAT FUCKING WORD I START WRITING 'FONETIKS' BECAUSE OF HOW IT IS SPELLED IN RUSSIAN. AAAAAH!!). Both had oral portions, and both teachers said that I did well, so, I suppose I did well. I got an A on the mid-terms for those classes, plus did well in them, so I shouldn't have anything to worry about. The thing is, I was completely out of it all day and certainly didn't do my best.

After that we had our final 'awards' lunch. Not sure why it was called an 'awards' lunch. We were all given ... a posterbook. From the same collection I've been buying from. So, uh, now I have .... 62 Soviet posters.... Know what that means? DON'T HAVE TO BUY GIFTS ANYMORE!! WHOOO. Well, either I could WALLPAPER my room with Soviet posters, or I could give out a bunch of them as gifts. YOU ALL KNOW WHAT YOOOU'RE GETTING! Bahaha.

I have to say, I'll really miss Lyudmila Petrovna and Olga Valentinovna. Best personalities ever, and they were almost always late to class. Well, Olga Valentinovna was, anyway.

So, Tatyana gave me black bread with crushed garlic smeared atop for dinner, tonight. Yum. One thing I've also noticed, here: French fries are considered to be a legitimate side to a meal. Hmm.

Tomorrow, Maneka and I are going out to buy train and bus tickets to Lithuania and back. Then we're going to book hotel rooms. This is actually pretty exciting since it's the first time I get to take a vacation like this. I am displeased that I never made it to Finland, though -- I wish I went towards the beginning of the semester when I had less to do. But I figured after the 25th I would be free. LITTLE DID I KNOW. Little did I know... Anyway, if anyone is BORED out of their MINDS and has some freetime, find strange and interesting things to do in Vilnius and Riga. Because Maneka and I are just kind of going to ... drop ourselves off in the cities and walk around trying to find things to do. Of course, we can't speak Lithuanian or Latvian so we're hoping knowing English and Russian will be enough to get us by.

And, from now to the 10th, my posts will probably be very sporadic. And long. Since the days will accumulate. After next week I don't really have ANY access to the internet, unless I go to the cafe, which requires me to lug my laptop around, and pay, neither of which I'm particularly willing to do. There will be a MASSIVE photo update, though, when I return home, as I plan on taking photos around Petersburg and of course in Lithuania and Latvia. SO, LOOK FORWARD TO THAT, KIDDIES.

For now, however, I am going to write a massive paper.

19.12.2008

Today, Maneka and I went to buy train tickets, which was successful. Then, we wanted to buy bus tickets ASAP, so at least our transportation is guaranteed for the trip. So we stopped into McDonalds, which, by the way, seems to be where ALL Russian youth congregate, as the place was FILLED with young college aged-high school types. Except for some poor smiling man in the corner, seeming to live vicariously through everyone around him ... Or scoping out the young dainties. I couldn't tell which. Maneka suggested, “Maybe he just loved гамбургеры(gamburgery!!).” Unfortunately, some sort of failure occurred on the internet (surprise surprise) so we got no bus tickets.

After that we went to the Nord shopping centre, and after searching forever and a day I bought a jacket. So now I look like a basic Russian sleazy-jackass. I mean, I like the jacket. And it looks good on me. But, uhm, at the same time, it doesn't exactly fit my 'style.' That is to say, it's a goose down puff polyester jacket with a large fur collar.

Then I came home and wasted the entire day by not even glancing at anything having to do with my paper, instead watching bad shows and movies all evening and night. But tomorrow I definitely plan on spending most all of the day writing the paper. In the evening, I'll be going to “La Traviata” at the St. Petersburg Opera. So. There's that. My CULTURAL REQUIREMENT for the week.

Aaaand so I just watched a horrifying tragic romance film, Московский Жигило (Muscovite Giggolo). And by horrifying I mean it involved blood and beatings and those sorts of things. It was actually a really good movie, however.

21.12.2008

Yesterday basically wasted the entire day sitting around and feeling like shit. Wrote a little over a page of my paper so now I'm at ... almost two pages. I'm going to try to get at least up to five, today. I'm not that worried about actually writing it, anymore, I'm just worried about it turning into a pile of crap. Well, it already is that, since basically I just ranted on for two pages about the pointlessness of NATO, and I'm about to rant for another couple pages on the pointlessness of ties to Georgia and the West's total misconception of the whole affair. Oh, I think I threw a paragraph about the hopeless political situation in Ukraine, too. Maybe I should expand on that one. But then again I already ranted on for 50 minutes on that very topic, in class, so maybe I shouldn't.

Oh, and I seem to have sidestepped illness for the third time since being here. This past Friday I woke up with a mild sore throat that persisted through most of the day, so I drank a lot of water and tea, and ate some lemon and honey (plus took a nice strong dose of vitamin C, but that usually just prevents sickness before it happens as opposed to actually 'curing' you) and the sore throat was completely gone by yesterday. Which was a relief, because I just sorely did not want to be ill in my last weeks here.

So, I went to La Traviata at the St. Petersburg Opera last night. Vika told me to go, a long time ago, because she said it was cheap, good quality, and a good break from the Mariinskij and Mikhailovsky. She also said it was beautiful. So I took my camera.

AND OH MY GOD IT WAS FUCKING GORGEOUS. Very very small, and surprisingly few people were there. Basically I can't even describe it, but the place is a restored palace (small palace) with its own private theatre. Easily THE most beautiful theatre I've ever seen. Even beats the Mariinskij. I took photos, but they don't do it justice. Especially since the lighting was really soft, so a lot of the photos turned out too blurry, and I used flash for a couple, which made everything look like shit. EXCEPT, ONE OF THE PHOTOS I TOOK WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, IF THERE WASN'T A GIGANTIC LIGHTING FIXTURE IN THE WAY. ARGH. Oh, and the room right before the theatre itself was decorated like a... cave. Yes. Apparently this was fashionable in the 19th century or something. It was kind of ugly. But I took photos anyway because it was really weird.

As for the opera itself, I realised after I bought the tickets that the opera was probably translated from the Italian into Russian, which would have ruined the entire point of me going to see a non-Russian play, but for some reason they translate them all, here (I thank GOD they don't do that in America, usually). HOWEVER, it turned out that they DIDN'T translate it, so it was in Italian, and that was good. But, then, I walked in ... aand ... based on the way the stage was set up, it was a contemporary take on the opera. Which made me really apprehensive. But they actually did a really good job of it, and it was still absolutely beautiful regardless. AND, they had classical masquerade ball costumes on during the second act, so that was good. The only thing that annoyed me was that in the second scene it was like ... tropical. So Alfretto (is that his name...?) had a ... hawaiian shirt on? And there was an umbrella. And at one point they were singing to a gigantic plush crab. But I looked past that since the singers were fantastic, and they came down into the audience a few times which was unsual, since I never see them do that in operas. But I guess since the theatre was so tiny, they did it.

Oh, and another strange thing was that Alfretto (or is it Alfredo? Wait, no, that's a pasta sauce...) was wearing this absolutely hideous outfit during the ball scene, when everyone else was in matching gold and black costumes. I don't know what it was, but it looked like a football under-jersey with a big “1” on the back, black slacks, and sneakers? Violetta was wearing a classy cocktail dress, which was different but at least acceptable, but what the hell? It makes me think that something technical happened, like he couldn't get dressed in time or someone forgot his costume. I don't know, but it was terrible.

Basically, that's that. I don't plan on doing much of anything, tonight. Just going to write my paper, today, and see if I can hit the 5 page mark. Oh, and it's snowing. Not that that's news.

In Which I am in a rush and can't do a name for this entry

2008-12-18T02:57:00.000-08:00

17.12.2008

So I'm sitting here not doing my work when I should, which is unsurprising. But, the fact is, like last night and the night before and the WEEK before, I couldn't get to sleep, so I shouldn't even try to get to sleep at a decent hour, tonight. I have plenty enough to do that I don't need to waste time lying in bed staring at ... blackness.

Speaking of which, I think I just realised that I don't remember the last time I saw sunlight. I mean, sure, there's "daylight" here... for a couple hours... every now and then. But it can hardly be called daylight. More like ... GREYLIGHT! Oh look at me make ... puns? That's not a pun. A RHYMING JOKE! That's beside the point. THE POINT IS. There is no light. And it is depressing. I'm kind of glad I'm not so far north that there are WEEKS without light.

Professor Vertkin gave us our paper topic, today. "Russia and the US - The Future." Yep. Broad. I'm going to at least form an outline, tonight. The good thing is that, after a little begging, he reduced the paper size from 10 pages 1.5 spaced to 10 pages double spaced. So, uhm, yeah. And he said it's not a research paper (clearly), so ... it's ... What we think. I guess I do a good enough job of rattling on, here, that I shouldn't worry about length, but I'm not sure I can write 10 pages of what I think is going to happen in US-Russian relations in the future. Maybe, "Right now they're as bad as they've been since the Cold War. They will improve with the coming presidency. Human civilisation is wiped out in the next few years anyway because of environmental abuse, so what's the point?" I saved over 20 pages of news articles from the BBC, Euronews, Time Magazine and Kommersant before leaving Bobrinskij, so maybe that'll shake up some ideas for LENGTH.

Augh. I feel really sluggish, today. Or perhaps, as I told Tatyana, I HAVE A LOT OF OATMEAL IN MY HEAD. I have to say, that is actually one one of the most useful phrases Annalisa Iosefovna taught us.

Tomorrow I have two exams, then the awards ... lunch ... for the RSL program. So, woohoo for that. RSL ending before everything else has made me tremendously lazy, though, and I feel like I don't have to/shouldn't do my work for my Human Rights course.

Alright, some jackass in the building put their TV/radio right next to their heater, so that's all I can hear coming through the pipes, and it's driving me up the wall. I think I preferred the screaming baby.

I feel like I had more to add... OH, RIGHT. IT'S FUCKING COLD. The temperature has been decreasing by one degree centigrade every day for the past five days. So right now it's at about -6. WHICH IS FUCKING COLD. However, I have to say, going by Celcius makes things seem all the colder, because I think -6 is something like the low 20's in Fahrenheit? Which, to me, doesn't seem THAT cold. I mean, cold, yes, but not FACE-RIPPING cold like it feels here. Of course, this all depends on the wind chill factor, and walking across that bridge is QUITE WINDY. QUITE WINDY INDEED. I made the mistake of NOT wearing my hat, today, because I feel like a fool wandering around with a big fur hat here since no one under the age of 50 seems to wear them, but at this point I CARE NOT about being perceived as a fool. I'd rather my ears not fall off.

In addition, it snows all the time, now. Which I guess makes sense, since it rained all the time, before, and now it's too cold to rain ... so ... it snows. Or something. Right, I am procrastinating, now. Time to work.

In Which the Banya is Visited

2008-12-17T01:34:00.001-08:00

16.12.2008

Today was interesting .... Had my test for Conversation, and that didn't go too well. I think I got the same grade as I did last time, which was disappointing.

Other than that I sat around most all day and did nothing, as I had to wait until 4:15 to go to the BANYA. Which was an ... interesting experience. Basically, the set up is like this:

-Take a short shower, basically just rinsing the self off.
-Enter a sauna, which can range anywhere from 80-100-something Celcius. Ours was at a little over 80 most of the time.
-While in the sauna, beat self with a bundle of leaves and sticks... Or have someone else do it for you.
-Exit sauna, immediately dump a bucket of ice cold water on self (by means of pulling a string connected to said bucket, which hangs from above)
-Jump into a pool of cold water.
-Repeat process three times, then take a break, and start all over again.

Right, so, to me, that sounds like a fantastic way to get ill. But that's just me. Usually you do this in a public bath house, with all sorts of naked old men wandering around. We had a private complex, though, so it was just me plus the other guys in the program. Which was awkward for a short while, but then was fine. Even when we ... beat eachother ... with bundles of leaves. This sounds really strange, but oh well.

Originally I wanted to go with Russian guys, but Yura had no desire, claiming only peasants went to the banya, so, there you have it.

It's supposed to be relaxing, but my head just kind of hurts right now. Maybe if I can sleep, tonight, it was worth it, though.

That's really all... Two more RSL exams, then two more papers, and I'm finished. except, one of the papers... so, Vertkin is giving us a week to write a paper, like he did for the mid-term. This time, however, the paper is to be SIXTEEN pages. Well, ten pages 1.5 spaced, which is effectively 15-16 double spaced. I ... don't think I can physically manage that. Last time, I spent two days researching, four days analyzing said research and coming up with an effective outline, then ONE day writing the paper. By the end of writing, I was nearly DEAD, and the paper wasn't even the full length. He said he's giving us a broader topic this time, too, which makes it harder (especially since the last topic was pretty damned broad -- "what, in your opinion, was the turning point of the Cold War?")

One thing I thought about, today, however, upon receiving a letter from dear Sarah ... So. I think Anndal's returned from France, and Jen should be back from the UK. Sarah is leaving Italy tomorrow. Kate's Shangai program is over and she's returning to America I think next week. I ... Am still in Russia. And I'm still here for a little less than a MONTH. And while that may be soon, it sure doesn't FEEL soon... And at the same time it almost seems like I was never here? I don't know. It's difficult to explain I suppose. Returning to America seems terrifying and exciting all at the same time. But maybe I'm just thinking like that because I'm listening to dramatic Russian romance music, which INTENSIFIES THE EMOTIONS like a good wine. Or something. I don't know. I've lost my mind. Я СХОЖУ С УМА. That means, I AM WALKING DOWN FROM MY MIND. Anyway. I'm not sure where I was going with that. To sum, I suppose, all my friends have nearly finished their international excursions, and for some reason that makes me feel alone. Despite the fact that I've had little contact with any of them the entire semester

Alright, well, I'm finished for tonight.

In Which Time is Wasted

2008-12-16T01:54:00.001-08:00

15.12.2008

So Georgie Porgie getting shoes thrown at him has been on loop on all the news channels, here. The Russians are having a riot. I saw it on the news on the internet while at the university, then again on a TV on my way home, and when I got home Tatyana immediately exclaimed in excitement, "HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS?! YOUR PRESIDENT HAD SHOOOOES THROWN AT HIM!" After a short exchange on that, I went to my room, and she called me back in to the room because it came up on the news again, and no less than 30 minutes later while eating dinner it was shown AGAIN. I mean, I know news channels go on a loop anyway, but this is just absurd. If not amusing, anyway.

In our exchange, Tatyana was saying "I bet these protests (the ones for the journalist who threw the shoes) aren't being shown on the American news, are they?!" and I responded, "Well, maybe, but probably shorter and in a different light..." to which SHE responded, "Yeah, the media isn't open. It's better to talk, and have media open, like this!" and she gestured towards the television, which of course was turned to the Pervyj Kanal... the main state-owned news network in Russia. I didn't argue the point.

In other news, I had my Grammar exam this morning. For some reason I was really stressed about it. But, it was easy. WELL. The first half was easy, and made sense. That half was written by Lyudmila Petrovna. The second half, however, was stupid as hell and many of the questions made little to no sense. That half was written by the American professor. He was not present at the exam, so I called Lyudmila Petrovna over and she was like "Eric, I read these questions over and over last night. I do not understand them at all, either. I wrote him a letter, but, I don't know what to do about that right now." and then basically told me to put down whatever. So, there's that.

After that I went to Bobrinskij, which was kind of annoying, since my exam was earlier than class usually is, so I was finished with that by 12:30, and didn't have class until 6:30. Well, then, at about 5, Andrei Vladimirovich sent me an e-mail saying class was cancelled. THANKS. WASTED FIVE HOURS IN BOBRINSKIJ. I could have gone ... shopping, or something. Actually, the most annoying thing is that, with class tonight, I supposedly had ZERO time to do anything other than what was already planned, until Friday. And even Friday and this weekend are very very constricted because I have an exam paper I need to write for Dmitri Markovich starting on Wednesday. Maneka and I are supposed to buy train tickets to Lithuania, but we basically can't find any damned time to do so. AND WE COULD HAVE TODAY, IF I HAD KNOWN CLASS WERE CANCELLED. But ah, such is life.

As for a couple things that happened in Bobrinskij.... There's a corridor on the way to the library that is called the "Open Studio Gallery," and they always have an exhbition of student works, put up by students, in there, which they change every now and then. Well, they recently started changing the expositions... and in one of the little alcoves, I did a double-take. VERY clearly gay-oriented photography. I mean, I know Smolny's the most liberal institute in the country, but that isn't very difficult to claim. In any case, as for what the photography actually consisted of, they were all self-portraits... But one in particular was like .... narcissistic artistic orgy. That's the only thing I can think of, to describe it. If you just glanced at it, it looks like ten or so naked guys sitting on a bed together. But if you look closer, you'll notice that all the guys are the same person, who I think is the photographer. So it's a photomanipulated photo montage. I think I'm going to try to take a picture of the exhibit on Wednesday, just because.

Seeing 'visible homosexuality' here was exciting, but at the same time kind of made me sad. Makes me regret not getting more involved in the 'artistic crowd,' so to speak. But then again I can't really do crap with the visual arts anyway.

Then, while sitting in the library, Vika pointed at some guy who was reading a book and... he was... SCANNING the book, I think. He had this long... stick... object that he was running over each page, and both Vika and I were like "What in the name of God?" Apparently, these Russian students are ahead of us in technology.

And to end my day's journey, when I got to the metro, it was of course rush hour so there was a massive crowd of people trying to get in. I got stuck behind a guy who had a furry hood on his coat, so I was suffocating from that for about three minutes until there was enough room to move away from him. Actually, his coat was cool -- it's the kind of coat that I want that seems really popular amongst Russian jackass male specimens, here --- a sort of shiny patent leather puff (usually quilted) coat with a fur-lined hood. I'm going to try and shop for one on Friday.

In Which The Elderly Are Discussed

2008-12-15T02:01:00.000-08:00

12.12.2008

So basically I'm just a jackass.

I went out to buy gifts for people and ended up just buying two CDs for myself. Damn it.

In addition, I am a dumbass. I've been trying to get myself to go out and search for Russian music for a while, just because ... well, I'm in Russia. So I figure buying CDs of Russian music would be a good idea. Well, the program office has a small 'library,' and some CDs which students can check out and such. It didn't occur to me until last night that I could check these CDs out, save them to my computer, then turn them back in ... ? But now I only have a week left to access the office, and I can only check out two CDs at a time. I checked out two, today, and won't be able to check out two until Monday. So. Yeah. Today I checked out "Мумий Тролль" (Mummy Troll! I actually thought they were some new indie-hipster sort of band, but the CD says they've been making music since 1983... I don't know, I've seen some of their music videos and I like the lead vocal's singing style. So yeah), and Владимир Высоцкий. I can't really describe Vysotskij, so I won't. I'll... send songs to people who are interested, when I get back. WHICH I AM SURE NONE ARE INTERESTED, SINCE I BOUGHT NONE OF YOU GIFTS TODAY. =(

And, today has been the Day of Crazy Old People. It started in the morning ... or, well, afternoon, when I got on the bus to go to smolny and do some studying. At one point during the commute, an elderly couple got up because we were nearing their stop. The older man was taking a while gathering his stuff, so the woman just walked a little bit ahead and waited in the aisle. All of a sudden, I hear this SCREECHING other old HAG, saying something like "MOVE ON! I NEED TO GET TO WORK!" who then SHOVED this other patiently waiting woman violently, and charged through the bus to get to the front. The affronted woman was horrified, and retreated, glaring angrily at her husband for his inactivity, I suppose. That was strange.

Then, I went to the front of the bus because my stop was nearing, and there was this other elderly couple who were CLEARLY not in the right state of mind. The woman was just repeating "ДАЙ! ДАЙ! ДАЙ!' (which means "give! give! give!", but sounds like "die! die! die!" so it was CREEPY AS HELL), and the man was just rambling on about something else. Then, to my right, there was this other old man who was like... arguing with himself. He was hurriedly and raspily whispering to himself, occasionally nodding and shaking his head, staring at one of the... pole things in front of him.

Finally, on the way home, on the metro, there was a man sitting by himself, seeming to ... lecture someone. But there ... was no one else there. He was gesturing around and almost .. giving a speech, I guess? I don't know. He talked the whole ride, then talked all the way up the escalator, too.

It's ... quite sad. I don't know. Something I recently realised, though, is that most of the people I see... anywhere, really, are really old. Probably the majority are in their 50's, 60's, some older than that. And it hit me that all of these people lived through ... The majority of Soviet history. I don't know, perhaps I'm kind of overblowing the significance in that. What made me realise it is that I saw an older man in the metro who seemed pretty dignified, with a neatly trimmed beard, good posture, well dressed, what have you. He was probably in his 70's, maybe late 60's. When I thought about that, it occurred to me that he could have been born during Stalin's reign. And for some reason that floored me. I don't know, perhaps my own half-disinterest in ... anything Soviet is magnifying this.

I went to Nevskij for the first time in a few weeks, and its all lit up with Christmas decorations, JUST LIKE AMERICA! Didn't make me too terribly homesick, though. Louisville and Baltimore seem a little more low-key than having ... massive flashy public Christmas decorations. Well, that, and they probably can't afford it as much.

Oh, one thing I've realised that kind of surprises me, here. With the way that people drive in this country, I figured that people would be fairly adept in crossing the street, and that Americans/other foreigners would be more likely to get crushed by an oncoming vehicle due to their own stupidity in trusting traffic. NOT SO. When going by my own instincts, I cross roads safely. When I decide to trust other people and go when the Russians go, I almost get KILLED. And I've seen people inches from death nearly every day I've been here -- I saw someone get hit the other day, but they just got up and walked away, so I guess they were fine. Whatever.

And: One thing that IS cheap, here: CDs. I don't think I've seen a CD (not imported, of course) over 200 rubles (8 dollars) here.

Hm.. I'm going to the banya on Tuesday. That's mildly horrifying.

13.12.2008

Well, today I decided to stay inside and 'study' to avoid going out and doing anything with my life. I was successful, I suppose. Studied for my grammar test nearly all day, and I've covered almost all the material. Which is ... a lot. A hell of a lot more than what I originally thought, and definitely my largest test. Of course, it's one test combined from two teachers, but the thing is ... There was really more “material” for Lyudmila Petrovna, but I got through it quicker and understood it more easily than the JUNK that the American professor has us do. Which is basically just memorising specific words and phrases and bullshit without any specific construction. Ridiculous.

However, I did run down to Pyatyorichka to pick up some water, and that was actually .. mildly bizarre. Because, while yesterday was the day of Crazy Old People, today was the day of ... Tremendously Nice Old People. Well, kind of. Maybe not to the same extent. I opened the door for some elderly individuals on my way in and out, and they all smiled real big and thanked me. Then, when I got back to the apartment building, a woman kept the door open for me, then kept talking to me when we got to the elevator, and then on the ride up... So I had a short random conversation with her, and that NEVER happens. Usually people are dead silent and emotionless. So, that was quite pleasant.

Other than that, I watched a movie and a half. First was “Брат” (Brat; Brother) which ... well, I didn't quite understand it, but it was about some militsia-turned-killer in Petersburg. I don't know. Everyone I know has been ranting and raving about how fantastic it was. I was disappointed. Probably because I understood so little about it. Anyway, I just watched a bit of a movie on TV, “Своя Правда” (Svoya Pravda... not sure how to translate it without an antecedent; I guess “One's Own Truth” is the best way to put it). It was pretty interesting but kept dragging on so I turned it off. It was about a single Russian woman living in Azerbaijan and having to raise two children. Had a lot of racial commentary, which were interesting but I'm not entirely sure how true they were.

Guess I should go back to studying and do a bit more before going to bed... Shopping, tomorrow. I hope to get at least 2/3 finished with Conversation final studying before Monday.

14.12.2008

Today... Today was a good day. Well, it's still going on, since it's only 5, but it's pitch black outside so it feels like the day is already over.

First I went to the Teatralnaya Kassa to buy a ticket to La Traviata for this coming week, which was only THREEEE HUNDRED RUBLES! Whoo. Funny enough, while buying my tickets, the woman accidentally closed the window on her computer that prints the tickets, and exclaimed “Oops!” (or, should I say, “Упс!”) when she did so. I was unaware until then that Russians used that exclamation. I'm used to hearing “Oi!” and “Blin!” (yes, they say “pancake!” as an expletive.. don't ask). And, the other day some woman responded with an “Mmmhmm” to me, which was nice, because every time I say “mmmhmm” instead of “da,” I feel like a moron because I thought that wasn't understandable in this ... cultural context. But I guess that it is.

Then, I went to Udelnaya market to buy gifts for people. I bought a hat for my dad, three gifts that I can't describe because they are for people who either read this or at least have access to it, and then one thing for myself. I had promised myself I wasn't going to buy anything until I went through the entire market, but I forgot about the SUN GOING DOWN AT TWO THIRTY IN THE AFTERNOON, and was rushed toward the end because people were already taking down their booths. I planned on buying a jacket and maybe a hat for myself, but only after buying stuff for other people... Buut I ran out of time. So, there's that.

Oh, and the back half of the market was a GIGANTIC SHEET OF ICE because it snowed last week and then froze after that, I guess. So I and other people kept stumbling around. At one point I accidentally hit a Turkish man in the face, but we just exchanged smiles and laughs and walked on (strange?). And then I almost fell another time and exchanged more smiles and laughs with a couple of nearby elderly women merchants (... also strange?). THAT WARMED MY SOUL.

Finally, on the way back, while waiting for the metro, some elderly gentleman came up to me, and we had a short conversation..:

Elderly Russian - “Excuse me, sir, don't you think that is such an умный (wise? Mindful? Knowledgable? The formal translation is “wise,” but it's a bit more general in Russian, I think) saying there? -pointing to a large poster on the wall of the metro, which said something along the lines of “The most important thing about a person is if they have a good heart,” but it sounds better in Russian)-
Me - -reads, thinks for a moment, then nods in agreement-
Russian – Such a wise saying, yeah? -emphasis-
Me – Yeah, I agree.
Russian – Do you happen to remember/know what book it's from?
Me - -thinks for a moment- Hmm.. No. I'm not sure.
Russian – Ahh, don't remember/know? Alright, well, goodbye.
Me – All the best.

Alright, well, recounting that conversation makes it seem tremendously boring, but it's the first time someone's approached me politely just wanting to exchange words, and not asking for money or cigarettes or something else. And he seemed in his right mind, so that's fantastic.

Aaaand I should go study. Exams begin tomorrow.

Oh, I ran across a few other good grammar bits that sound odd when translated (аs I said with “Подходите!” Approach!, before). Well, first off, (I don't remember if I mentioned this before), but when you address someone you don't know, you address them by age and gender:

Девочка (girl!), молодой человек (young man!), мужчина (man!), женшчина (woman!). All except “Young man” sound really rude or just odd in English... If it's a waiter or a salesperson, you always refer to them by “girl” or “young man,” no matter their age. Older women also get kind of excited when you refer to them as “girl,” and are being polite. DESPITE this not being culturally rude, I always feel really awkward when I'm in a situation and trying to get someone's attention. I don't know. Just by anglicisms, I guess. I usually just say “excuse me,” or something.

And then, something else I just remembered: When you're asking for something in a restaurant (the example here is a fork/spoon), you would say “Будьте добры, принесите еще один прибор.” Which, directly translated, means “Be good, bring one more set.” The “Be good” just seems so demeaning to me, buuut it apparently isn't. On the bright side, I've never actually heard someone say this, so it might be a textbookism or something older people say. I'm thinking the latter, because I think this textbook is written by a Russian, judging on some really awkward English translations... That, and I think I asked the professor about this construction, before, and she said it was used. But she's older. So.

So, I watched a bit of “Imya Rossiya” (The Name of Russia, for those who have been following in the news), and right now they're discussing Ivan the Terrible's eligibility for the title. This guy is defending him, saying he created the first political party that “solved the problem of boyar opposition,” and that he was a man far ahead in his time... Amusingly enough, everyone else on the panel was snickering in derision while he went on.

I kind of wish I had been watching this the entire time I was here. This is the first one I've seen, and it's tremendously interesting. Most strange of all is that I seem to COMPLETELY understand it? What in the name of God? I'm FINALLY improving and I'm ALMOST ABOUT TO LEAVE?!

Edit: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7782414.stm

Sad, but not unexpected. I believe these are the results of the advertised protests I mentioned in an earlier post.

In Which the Classes have Ended...? Kind of..?

2008-12-12T02:45:00.001-08:00

11.12.2008

All I could think on the way home, on the bus, was, "I am wearing two pairs of socks and fur lined shoes. Why the hell are my feet FREEZING?"

My last RSL classes were today, but it feels like I still have so much to do, and so much longer until I return home. Really, though, all I have left to do is:

-Coursework for Human Rights
-Human Rights Final
-International Relations Final

... and, that's it. Well, I have finals for RSL next week, but those shouldn't be too terribly difficult. The main thing I'm mourning is that I won't be forced to speak Russian every day, now. Except to Tatyana, but we basically just say the same damned things all the time.

I successfully picked up my package, today. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Well, it kind of was. I got in line, and there weren't that many people there. Apparently, the post office has its own pet cat, which was playing with the woman in front of me. So the cat and this woman were laughing and playing and having a great time. I have realised that the only time you're allowed to be happy in public is if you're insane, or with an animal.

So, as soon as they get to me in line they decide to have a break, and say that they'll start again in 15 minutes. Of course, "fifteen minutes" turned out to be "half an hour." In the meantime, the line grew exponentially behind me, as did my terror. I just knew this woman was going to yell at me about someething, and I wouldn't know what to do about it. Well, she comes back, says "Подходите" (which means APPROACH!, and I found to be amusing about ten minutes later). I hand her my package slip, she hands me my package, and done. Simple.

You know, I always have a bunch of fantastic observations throughout the day, and every time I think to myself "Oh! That would make a great journal entry! I should write that down ... nah, I'll remember it." And then, I don't remember it. Every time. Damn it.

One thing I DO remember, however, is that, since coming here, I have realised how much of a slob I am. By "slob," I mean I don't take care of my things. Well, didn't. And that's really only in comparison to Russians. Before I came here, I thought I took fantastic care of my things. But I didn't. This doesn't make much of any sense, does it? Well, for example, how many Americans take care of their shoes? None that I know of, outside my parents, in any case. Russians take a shoe brush to their shoes/boots immediately after stepping in the door, and then apply polish if necessary. I've actually started to get into the habit of this. Usually, I'll just give all my (leather) shoes a good cleaning about twice a year, when I'm home. NO LONGER.

Of course, this extends past shoes. Far past shoes. There was this woman on the metro not long ago who spent FIVE. MINUTES. Folding a plastic shopping bag. FIVE. MINUTES. Smoothing it, making sure it was folded evenly... Jesus effing christ. It drove me INSANE. Then, of course, she spent another minute or two carefully placing it in her purse. Actually, I would have died if she just stuffed it away, but she didn't, unfortunately.

I am mildly terrified of my Russia/USA final. The mid-term was pretty horrifying -- one week to write a full seven page paper. I spent two days researching, four days analyzing said research and coming up with an outline, and one page writing. By the end of the 'writing' part I was DYING. But the FINAL? Same time frame -- one week. For a TEN page paper, on a much broader topic. I suppose that the topic is broader is good, but not necessarily ... research is going to be even more of a pain, and coming up with a decent response just as much. The good thing is is that I don't have to worry about ANYTHING else during that time frame, so I don''t need to worry about getting anything else done. But still... ten pages in ONE week, research and all? Seems a tad maniacal to me.

Well, amusingly enough, I had planned on studying for exams tonight... since, you know, no classes tomorrow, and I'm finished early enough on Thursdays... It's already 9 and all I've done since I've returned home is watch a movie, take a nap and eat dinner.

Speaking of the movie -- I started watching it last night. Soviet film from the early 80's -- "Будьте Моем Мужем" (Be my husband). I actually have very little to say about it... Just a romantic comedy. It was fairly good -- What I found amusing is that it was set during the summer at a beach setting, and I didn't notice until a later scene when NO ONE was on the beach that the beach was just ROCKS. No sand. ROCKS. Not like, small bits of gravel, but big ROCKS. I can't imagine enjoying a beach like that. Not that I enjoy beaches at all, but still.

In Which Theatre Things Are Discussed, kind of but not really

2008-12-11T04:42:00.001-08:00

10.12.2008

I feel like I'm a broken record, here, but I just felt AWFUL, today. I was fine until about halfway through my IR course, and then I felt like my head was swimming and I just felt all around gross. I skipped by Central Asian class and came home, took a shower, and I feel a tad better, now. I thought this was probably dehydration, but I've been buying litres of water the past few days and drinking those, so I don't know. I would say it's my diet, but, I've been eating this stuff for a while, now, so I don't know.

For some reason, trying to decide what I want to do this weekend is bothering me. On one hand, my classes will be over, so I feel like I should go out and do a lot -- On top of that, I only have one month left. But at the same time, I have exams next week, so perhaps I should ... study? Hmm.

Since another BUTTON fell off my coat, I feel like it's a good excuse to buy a new jacket. I wanted to buy a new jacket, anyway, but they're so expensive. I see guys wearing really neat jackets all the time that I would buy in a heartbeat, but then I go shopping and find next to nothing. For example, I saw a guy who just had an all-around nice ensemble going, yesterday, in the post-office. He was wearing black pants with tall black boots, and a black puff jacket that was tight around the waist. It was just sleek. Then I noticed the Armani insignia on his pants, and was like "well, nevermind." Of course, they could have easily been fake, but still.

At the same time, I feel like I've bought a lot for myself, already. Two pairs of shoes, a pair of pants, a hat, a couple DVDs... Of course, I've bought some stuff for others, too, but I'm not going to enumerate them here since said individuals will be receiving said items when I return. I know I'm going to Udel'naya this weekend in either case to buy some more stuff for other people, weather permitting. There are two things I know I'll be able to find (both for the same person), then one other thing I hope I'll be able to find, for another person. There are 18 people on my gift list, and I've finished buying things for five (maybe six) of them. Of course, I've bought a few things for other people, too, but SOME PEOPLE ARE GETTING MULTIPLE GIFTS. So, there's that. Thankfully all the gifts are either flat or small so I guess I shouldn't worry about room for them.

Alright, I'm wasting all my time talking about things people don't care about.

So I'll keep on.

I'm determined to go to at least two more ballet/opera things while I'm here, and I'm determined to see an opera that is NOT Russian. So, I feel like I HAVE to see Swan Lake, specifically, at the Mariinskij. Because ... well, it's Swan Lake, at the Mariinskij, and I'm in St. Petersburg. That's a world-famous play by world-famous dancers, with a world-famous orchestra. I looked up the schedule, earlier, and there are a couple more Swan Lakes this month, but all the seats left are THOUSANDS of rubles... then I looked in January, and there are like 500 Nutcrackers, and ONE Swan Lake, on the 7th of January. The tickets are still pricey, but not that bad, so I think I might buy that ticket and hope to God nothing comes up, since I leave three days after that.

As for the opera, I wanted to see something NOT in the Mariinskij or the Mikhailovskij, since those are the two huge ones, and I figured I should go somewhere smaller and more personal. Vika suggested the Saint Petersburg Opera, and I WAS going to go to two one-act operas there, on Friday, but I didn't buy tickets because I didn't have any time, so that just failed. La Traviata is playing there on the 20th, though, so I'm going to buy tickets for that tomorrow.

So... as for theatre performances this entire trip, I've seen:
-The Magic Flute, Mariinskij Theatre Concert Hall
-Muzhkoj Balet, Dvorets Kultury
-Zolushka, Mariinskij Theatre
-Romeo and Juliet, Marinskij Theatre
-Pikovaya Dama, Mikhailovskij Theatre
-Journal of a Scoundrel, Theatre Ostrov

I kind of wish I went to the ballet a little more this semester, but if I go to La Traviata and Swan Lake... that will make a total of three operas, four ballets, and one play. Which is much more than I NORMALLY see, but it's not like Baltimore has world class performances.

Oh, right, and I went to see two concerts, too. Marc Almond, and "Of the Wand and the Moon" with "Sonne Hagal." Why the hell am I whining? I did a lot.

In addition, I finally got a hold of Yura. He said we couldn't go to Finland the last week of this month... because ... I don't know, his reasoning didn't make sense. Something about the border of Finland and a lot of people ... doing things. Then he was telling me I had to contact the US embassy in Finland to go there ... ? Which I'm pretty sure is ... not true. Since everyone else I know has gone there before no problem. Anyway, I'm supposed to meet him Friday for tea and planning. And then Maneka and I need to plan our trip to the Baltic states.

Alright, can I say something? Or, rather, promise something, to everyone witness and myself. If I ever move here, or, hell, even return just for study and whatnot, I will NOT be one of those ex-pats who hangs out with no one but Americans. Period. Actually, I had more to add on to that but it's mildly offensive, so I'll keep my thoughts to myself for right now.

In Which Two Posts Are Uploaded

2008-12-10T01:50:00.001-08:00

08.12.2008

First thing that happens, today? I arrive at Smolny and go to take my coat off when the bottom button pops off. Fuck. That's two out of three. Needless to say, I can't button that coat up anymore. And it is getting quite cold. Quite cold, indeed.

I had my last Grammar class, today. That was kind of sad, since it was my favorite. So now I have to put up with all my other RSL classes for one more week. Then ... exams. That's somewhat horrifying.

And then in Human Rights, I didn't understand much of anything. Then he gave us an assignment I didn't really understand. And finally, he assigned me my final, which I didn't really understand. But it's no different than previous classes, and somehow I received an A for the first half of the semester (probably for effort... Hell, I deserve a fucking A+++ for effort), so I'm not going to stress out about that class too much. More importantly, I realised that I have become quite skilled at walking on SOLID SHEETS OF ICE since I've been here. I don't know how the Russians zoom along like they do, especially the women wearing stiletto heels. I haven't seen a damned person even come CLOSE to slipping ever since the freezing started, but I've fallen twice and come close to it nearly every day, now, damn it.

The host brother, Dima, is sick again. Every time he gets sick, he just lies in his room for days on end watching bad anime on the children's channels. That includes, Pokemon. Ash's voice is as annoying as ever in Russian as it is in English.

Speaking of annoying voices, there is little else that is more painful to listen to than a Russian couple argue. Or complain, in general. I was going to say women specifically, but then I realised the men are as bad. The intonation is just so RELENTLESS and METHODICAL that I am convinced it could take down walls. I don't know, that doesn't make any sense. I'll have to post a video some time or something.

So, Kate's entry inspired me, somewhat. I'm not going to write a "WHAT A LEARNED" essay (as she called it), of course, since it's still a bit early for me to do that, but one thing struck me in particular.

If someone asked me, or hell, whenever I ask myself, if I could see myself living in Russia in the future, my initial response would definitely be "Yes, why not?" But then, I ask the "Why not," to myself, and I remember the reasons as to why I just want to go back to the U.S., specifically. For one, I just can't EXPRESS myself as I'd like, here. And I don't mean through language. I can't dress how I like when I'm inspired, and so forth. Hell, I can't TALK how I'd like, I can't be as FREE with thought and word, much less dress. I have to hide who I am, here, and in some ways live a double life. Of course, my position is not as half as bad as it would be if I were Russian, but that's an entirely different story. In any case, the fact of the matter is, I AM confined here, and that's plain as day (Well, a CLEAR day, in any case, but the St Petersburg winter days are grey and we only have a few hours of sunlight at this point, so).

But then, really -- How much longer am I going to be as free as I am right now? Not much longer. After college, I will get a job. This job will most likely be connected with something political. Perhaps I'll fill another useless bureaucratic position in the UN (WHOOPS! Did I just downtalk a liberal internationalist construction?). Оf course, the creative aspect of me recoils in horror at the prospect of me working anything political, or, for that matter, working in any job in which I have to wear a SUIT, but I guess the alternative is being POOR and JOBLESS. But in any case, perhaps if I did end up doing something in Russia, I would end up carving my own space out, here, anyway. I mean, I am in a ... very specific situation. That is to say, I am a student, dropped here for six months, living with a family I hadn't known before coming here. And that's that.

So perhaps my answer is, I don't know if I'd live here or not. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I don't even want to think about that, right now. I'm in college. I'm going to enjoy myself now, and that's that. I have really good feelings about this coming semester (Minus my possible living situation, or LACK THEREOF). But I'll save those for a later date -- I don't want to get too excited right now, when I still have a month and two days left in this country.

Вот и все.

09.12.2008

I have been having a lot of trouble with sleep, recently. More than usual, anyway. I'm not entirely sure what's going on -- I'm not particularly stressed about finals or anything, and I'm keeping a fairly regular sleep schedule. Despite this, it takes me hours to get to sleep at night, then when I finally fall asleep, I can't wake up. I've almost been late for my Tuesday and Thursday classes this past week and a half. Not that that's a huge deal since I'm never late and I've gone to almost every class. The funny thing is is that I'll wake up before my alarm, at like seven in the morning, feeling pretty much awake and fine, but clearly just go back to sleep since I have a couple hours before I have to do anything. But then my alarm goes off at 9 and I'll hit the Snooze button like fifty times until I have barely any time to eat breakfast and do the half hour commute. But, it doesn't actually even matter after this Thursday, because I'll only have three classes a week after this week, and they're all after 1pm.

... Wait, it does matter, because I have exams next week. Fuck. Well, nevermind that.

I felt sick half the day, which was no good, and I was completely out of it during Phonetics. I felt like I was back in Russian 110 when reading junk out aloud. Every time we'd come to a word people didn't know, I'd be all "OH, I KNOW THIS WORD. (totally incorrect explanation)." "Uh, no, it is (complete opposite of what I said)" (e.g.: I thought a particular word meant imagination. it meant armaments) That happened about three times before I decided to just shut up.

Second class was much better.

I tried to pick up a package from the post office, today. I failed and ended up running away in terror. For one, the line was huge and in the 15 minutes I was there they had given a single person their package and started processing someone's pension pick up or something. Secondly, they were yelling at everyone for doing everything wrong, and three navy guys came up in line behind me, and I didn't particularly want to suffer the humiliation of being yelled at as a stupid American in such a situation.

Actually, that brings me to another topic. I feel like I've discussed this before, but perhaps it bears repeating. It is just tremendously unpleasant to have to do much of anything, here. That is to say, shopping, picking up a package, going to a restaurant, and so on. Some of it stems from the horrific bureaucracy, while the rest of it stems from the absolute lack of customer service, or what an American (or, for that matter, ANYONE FROM WESTERN CIVILISATION) would call "common courtesy," or "civility." Alright, yes, cultural differences, whatever. The thing is, from what I've seen even here is that civility seems universal amongst everyone except RUSSIANS. And by that, I mean ethnic Russians. Those of Central Asian ethnicity, Caucasian ethnicity, and hell even Belorussians and Ukrainians display some level of friendliness, especially in comparison to the Russians. Now, to be perfectly honest, I don't really care. For the most part. Because, since it IS the cultural norm here to be entirely offput at having to actually get up and do work during your shitty job, then it really isn't "rude," persay. That, and it makes for some good stories, at least. And clearly it could be argued that the "civility" that most Americans display is completely superficial and sterile. So, which is worse? Perhaps it just depends on the situation. Whatever. That's that.

Actually, one thing I WILL say straightforward, that I know I've said in the past: Men are total jackasses, especially if they're my age. But that, too, seems universal.

In other news, I seem to have forgotten how to write a correct capital N. Every time I try, it comes out looking like И. That's mildly frustrating.

Later:

So, I decided to plug in the TV, and that was a terrible mistake. As a result, I have gotten nothing done in the past three hours.

In Which ... Whatever.

2008-12-08T01:28:00.000-08:00

06.12.2008

Alright, so, Thursday was interesting ... well "Interesting" in that Tatyana turned off the power in my ROOM at night. So I just decided to go to bed after that. Thankfully, it's back on today.

Yesterday was somewhat uneventful. I had a short meeting with Lyudmila Petrovna to get her help in translating the letter my mom sent for Tatyana, since I wasn't sure HOW to translate it.I'll give that to her soon enough.

Oh, and apparently I'm going to the banya with Bryan next week... That'll be an interesting experience.

On the bus home, yesterday, there was a TV. That was bizarre. It was just showing news, from the Pervyj Kanal (the main state-owned media station). From what I've been hearing, the state transport system is having a lot of trouble with employment and funding, so I'm not sure why they're installing TVs on their new busses? Then again, that makes sense, since nothing here makes sense. I've heard that the autobus/trolleybus sector has a 50% need of bus drivers, which means almost every driver has to work double shifts in order to just keep the city running. On top of that, they're changing the metro system by the end of next year, which also doesn't make any sense. Right now, you pay 17 rubles, flat, to get to any station in the city. They're trying to make it so that it costs more the farther you go... I don't know how they do that. I know the DC system is the same, but I completely forgot how that worked when I was there. I just put money on my card and went through. I guess you have to go through checkpoints at every station? Who knows.

I've also decided that I actually hate the new busses, because they make me seasick. Indeed, so far, my favorite ride on public transport has been the trolleybusses, which were nice and smooth and quiet. Mmm.

Today, I went to the political museum with Maneka. That was really interesting. On the WAY to the museum, however, some babushka came up and asked for a cigarette. Well, I happened to have a pack on me, and figured I'd just give it to her and walk on. Of course, as soon as I give it to her, she LATCHES on to my arm and BEGS for money to buy bread for her child. I'm like, DRAGGING this woman along with me, until I PRY her hand off my jacket. I was pissed off. If she wanted money for her CHILD, she should have asked for that BEFORE asking for CIGARETTES. And of course, I'm sure this “bread” for her “child” meant VODKA. FOR HERSELF. But anyway.

The museum was neat. And COMPLETELY deserted. Which was surprising, since it's ... a Saturday. In the middle of the day. You'd think it'd be a lot more busy at that time of the week. Actually, it was very ... Soviet. Or what I'd think Soviet would be. Which makes sense, since 90% of the museum was ... Soviet. politics. And such. In any case, it was clearly a museum which the government doesn't care very much about. The kassa and the gift shop were all in one very small partitioned office, run by a very bureaucratic woman who clearly didn't want to do her job. At first she said she didn't have any change, when Maneka pulled out a 100 to pay for a 20 ruble ticket. Then when I said I'd pay, since I thought I had 40 rubles in 10's, the woman asked for 100 .. and gave us change ... She didn't even have a proper register or even a cash box, either. She pulled the money out of a COOKIE tin.

Anyway, the set up of the museum was really interesting. The first room was completely dedicated to Stalin's times, and it was a labyrinth. Literally. There was a description at the beginning that said something like it was the "labyrinth of madness, where you have no freedom and end where you begin." Or something just tremendously bizarre. The lady who took our tickets told us how to follow the exhibits, but we got lost and did it out of order, but whatever. What I found interesting was ... there was very little bias. It was all very factual and systematic, not leaving out details of Stalin's rise to power, his overzealous purging of the party, the horrors of collectivisation, the absurdity of the bureaucracy and propaganda... Of course, at the same time, it didn't condemn it, either. Except, at the transition to the next exhibit, it did state that the end of Stalin's reign was a total mess and left a lot of problems for his successors.

What I also found tremendously interesting was all of the party documentation, student cards, workers cards, etc. Official documentation and whatnot. BECAUSE, GUESS WHAT?! IT HASN'T CHANGED SINCE THE 20'S. AT ALL. My student card could, ignoring the dates, pass for a Soviet student card in the 1920's. Same with my Russian visa. It all. Looks. The same. A lot of other similar things in the museum really just kind of jarred my brain... Like, there was an exhibit with a sewing machine from the 30's, and it is the EXACT same sewing machine that my host mother uses.

This all made me realise something. Well, not really realise, so much as put some of my feelings into context. Sometimes, when I am here, I feel like I was sent back a hundred years. The bureaucracy, the atmosphere ... the elevators in my apartment building ... None of it has really changed at all. At the same time, a LOT HAS changed. Hell, a lot has changed in the past TEN years. In any case, sometimes, I also feel like I'm thrown back to the 80's. Bad mullets, a lot of the music (actually, that's more early-mid 90's trash than 80's), advertisements, bad television. And then, I feel like some aspects are even further AHEAD in time than America. Or, at least, what I'm used to, in America. A lot of the fashion, many restaurants, many of the more recently renovated parts of the cities, shopping complexes, and so on. It's all very pristine, new, and modern.

In any case, that's enough on that subject. Afterward, we went to the gift shop, and I bought a posterbook of TWENTY ultra-high quality, decently sized posters for 14 dollars. I'm really excited. They're all Soviet political posters from the 30's to the 50's, centred around the theme of spies all around and not giving secrets away to the "Enemy." I've actually seen these posters at Dom Knigi, but they were over 100 rubles more expensive, there. So I'm glad I got the good deal.

After that, Maneka and I went to Pizza Hut. Yes. Pizza Hut. We were hungry, and couldn't find anything, so we went around the Petrogradskij metro ... which ... our choices were: Chainaya Lozhka (always ultra busy), McDonalds, KFC, and Pizza Hut ... yep. Well, apparently, here, Pizza Hut is a nice, clean, sit-down restaurant with decent food and FRIENDLY SERVICE?! I was amazed. We were seated by a waitress who SMILED, and asked us if we wanted to sit in a smoking or non-smoking section (also baffled me). In addition, the food was good. And I got a HUGE glass of seven-up, with NO ICE! WHICH MEANS, MORE SEVEN-UP! For very cheap, comparatively!

In other news, I am leaving the television unplugged until classes are finished. It just destroys my productivity. Tomorrow I'm going to try to do work for most of the day until the play, which is in the evening. I hope I'll be able to understand it.

07.12.2008

I'm in one of those moods again where I feel like I've learned nothing, and perhaps have regressed, in my language capabilities. Well, I was this morning, but perhaps less so now, after the play. I think Tatyana's food might be doing something, too. I really wish I could just cook my own food for a week or something, but I'm pretty sure she'd have none of it.

Today, I did do work for most of the day... and I suppose I was productive. I did my grammar homework for tomorrow, but... As far as the other work I tried to do... It took me two hours to get through like two pages of my textbook, today. I was (or so I thought) ploughing on through, understanding pretty much everything, then I suddenly looked up at the clock and an hour and a half had passed and I hadn't even gotten through the INTRODUCTION to the chapter, and it was just hideously demoralising. I'm supposed to read 10 pages by Wednesday, which, when it was ASSIGNED last Wednesday, I was happy for the very light assignment. But now? Whaaat the hell.

Anyway, this is my last week of Russian classes (thank god). I'm not sure how work-heavy it will be. Actually, not at all, since none of the classes will have homework. I know I have a good deal of homework for SMI, but that's about it. Then, I have studying for finals, which I am going to do КАК СЛЕДУЕТ, so that all these new constructions will at least get a foundation in my BRAIN before all my classes end and I'm no longer forced to speak Russian in a classroom setting on a daily basis. I'll have to sit with Tatyana and afternoon tea on a daily basis, or something. Or maybe I'll start dating a girl just so I have someone with whom to converse for a few weeks.

Alright, so, I went to a play, today, which was interesting. We had a choice between a huge professional play based on a Gogol' story, about marriage... and uhm... well... As much as I love Gogol', I'm 90% sure I wouldn't have been able to understand a damn thing, and since it's Gogol' + marriage I'm 99.9% sure that it would be a horrifying tragedy, which I don't need. So I went to a small, more personal contemporary comedy. Which, really, was tremendously uncreative and a compact soap opera, but! It was very enjoyable. I didn't understand anything that was really going on in the beginning, but towards the end I actually understood everything they were saying. And the acting was good, so that was a plus.

In Which Shoe Stores are Visited

2008-12-05T03:53:00.000-08:00

04.12.2008

Well, today was halfway interesting.

First, I'll begin with my GUILT. I feel terrible about thiss. Maneka and I went to a Georgian cafe to eat dinner, and it was fantastic -- the waitess was really friendly and nice, the food was fantastic, and it wasn't expensive at all. Well, after paying, while we're getting ready to leave, and I knocked over a glass. It cracked a little bit, and the waitress asked if it broke... Well, we kind of panicked and said no, then gathered all our stuff and almost RAN out. I realised right after I stepped out the door that I could've just apologised profusely and offered to pay for it, and I really should have done that. But now we can NEVER RETURN. Damn it. I am so stupid.

On that note, Georgian food is delicious. Nice and spicy, which is something completely absent from Russian food, which is bland and kind of bad.

As for classes today, they went fairly well. Had two blocks of Grammar because my SMI teacher is ill, and the Grammar teacher was ill on Monday so they just moved the class ahead so we wouldn't miss a full week. I hate SMI and enjoy Grammar, so this was fine by me. That was a good class because we got on a topic I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, but THEN UNDERSTOOD! Difficulty is good sometimes.

After classes, Maneka and I went out to go SHOE SHOPPING! We were looking to buy some boots. On the metro there, these two teenaged guys were like, playing footsy and kicking eachother. Well, this old woman turned and SLAPPED one of them and told them to stop. That, was fantastic. I don't think that's something you'dd often ssee in America.

Anyway, we went to probably 10-15 different shoe stores... aand ... found basically nothing. Most of the stores, all the men's shoes and boots were awful, and all the women's shoes and boots were the same and nothing Maneka really wanted. I did end up buying a really nice pair of shoes, though -- Real leather (suede) with a natural fur lining, and a zipper on the side. They're ... more ... masculine than what I'd normally buy, but they look really good on me and they ZIP so I don't have to worry about falling and dying while trying to tie shoes at the door. Plus they were tremendously cheap for what they are.

UNFORTUNATELY. I really wanted to buy a pair of BOOTS. like, calf-high BOOTS. Not SHOES. But I can't find BOOTS for some reason. Everyone else and their mother owns boots, of course, but not I. We also stopped by this supposedly Russian-designed clothing store, and it was all overpriced and tremendously boring, so that was disappointing.

I also want to buy a jacket... and a bunch of other stuff... BUT I NEED TO STOP. I need to buy things for OTHER people. In fact, I'm not buying a single damned thing for myself again until I buy three more people gifts.

I think I might run out of room in my suitcase, though... hmm.. Not sure. I know a couple things I'm leaving behind, regardless. Like the shitty shoulderbag I brought with me, and I might actually sell a pair of the shoes I brought from America that I've decided I no longer like because they're boring.

Speaking of money, I have spent absurd amounts since I've been here. And I've kept track of every cent (OR SHOULD I SAY, KOPECK?!) since I've been here. I just glanced over my balance... thing... and I think altogether, with credit card purchases included, I've spent almost if not exceeding 3000 dollars. Which is absurd. Of course, this doesn't include program costs, but those don't count. When I'm at Goucher, I MIGHT spend about 200 dollars a semester. Maybe. At most. Except, around my birthday I tend to splurge. But that's beside the point. I've nearly spent all my savings. Which, I guess the original point of saving was so that I wouldn't have to worry about my funds while I'm here. Of course, at the same time, I've stayed away from frivilous purches ... well .... kind of ... Sometimes I get out of hand with chocolate. BUT. That's beside the point. Most everything I've bought I will use, and most everything I've bought I wouldn't be able to buy in America, and if I could, it would be even more expensive. So there's that.

THAT BEING SAID. I am determined to go to the Санк Петербургская Опера this month, and I need to see SWAN LAKE before I leave, but that looks a bit harder than it should be. I think I'm going to try to purchase tickets to some one-act opera, for next week... We'll see. Shouldn't be expensive; the St. Petersburg Opera is small. So. La Traviata is also playing at the Mikhailovskij, and I'm tempted to go to that, too, but that's going to be much more expensive, nott to mention I don't think I could stand two operas within a day of each other.

On top of that, I'm going to the Political Museum on Saturday, so hurrah for that.

In Which Homework is Offensive

2008-12-04T01:44:00.001-08:00

03.12.2008

Finished my presentation last night at about 1am, then couldn't fall asleep. Despite this, today was not terrible.

Olga did her presentation in class before me, and she did well. Topic was on Iran's nuclear aspirations. So I learned a bit, since I hadn't known much before. After that, I did my presentation, which I thought was probably terribly boring for everyone, and I kept stumbling over myself and saying "Yakunovych" instead of "Yanukovych."

But, professor said it was a good presentation, afterwards. We'll see what this "good" translates to, grade-wise.

Can I just say something? I hate NATO. And I'm not sure if it's because everything I read is about NATO, or if it's just because everything I'm reading is from the Russian perspective on NATO. Perhaps it's a bit of both. Either way, I wouldn't mind if NATO were dissolved, personally. Big headache gone right there.

BUT INSTEAD, THE UKRAINIAN PARLIAMENT KEEPS GETTING DISSOLVED. WHAT THE HELL?

I think there might be some sort of feud between ... two of my professors. I won't say their names, for fear they might discover my blog. But yeah. It's somewhat disappointing, since I really like both of them. But, it happens.

I don't really have much more to say ... ? Uhm... I'm going shopping tomorrow (maybe), and to the political museum on Saturday... Not yet sure what I'll be doing on Friday. Maybe I'll start studying for my finals. we'll see.

But for now I must do grammar homework. Which I sorely do not want to touch.

Actually, after looking at said grammar homework, I do want to say something:

I have to read a poem and answer a bunch of dumb questions about it – The poem is by Maria Tsvetaeva, who was a LESBIAN poet in the early 1900's in Russia, who chased after other women poets and wrote love poems to AMAZONIAN WARRIORS and whatnot. Well, the description of the poem says that the poem is directed towards a MAN. There is NO indication in this particular poem that the object of love is a MAN, since she uses the PLURAL/FORMAL to refer to the object of love, and there is no DISTINCTION between GENDER in the PLURAL. In ADDITION, she says they will never be MARRIED in a CHURCH and that all their strolls were at NIGHT and not UNDER THE SUN (ADD LINE HERE: SO THAT WE AREN'T KILLED BY MISOGYNIST PIGS). I'm going to try and translate this paragraph and put it into my homework.

Alright, finished.

In Which Culture is No Longer Exciting

2008-12-03T01:13:00.001-08:00

02.12.2008

So, uhm, I was just notified today that next week is the last week of classes, and then we have a week of exams and we're finished...?

Whoops. Seems I'm behind on the times.

Of course, I still have my non-RSL classes after that. So. All is NOT finished, but yeah.

Today was overall just frustrating, because I couldn't form a damned sentence, and couldn't understand anything. Completely off. I feel like I've been writing that more frequently every week, though, so I don't know what that is...

Oh, this morning I saw an interesting commercial. Very short, only about five seconds. All it was was the Iranian flag, and the text "IRAN: Land of Business Opportunity," with a phone number at the bottom. The most odd part, though, was that it was in English ... ? Strange.

On that note, I've noticed that I''ve been writing less and less in terms of cultural comparisons and notations. But I think it's because I've gotten accustomed to nearly everything, here. I mean, I see and hear new and strange things every day, even while going about my normal routine, but they don't seem as new or strange anymore because I've come to expect them. There are only so many times one can describe men wearing flashy gold shoes or rocking curly mullets, or the aggressive behavior of the elderly. But then again, these aren't exactly the "core" of the culture. Not that I'm necessarily TOUCHING the "core" of the culture or anything, but.

And I also learned today that December 1st is the first day of winter, in Russia. So, I have officially lived through two days of the so-called "Russian winter." The funny thing is, it's been warmer the past few days than it has in a couple of weeks. So... Damn.

I've been hearing a baby SCREAMING at the top of his/her lungs EVERY NIGHT for about a week, now. I don't know what the hell is going on, but it's somewhat disturbing. It could be from anywhere in the building, too, because I'm hearing it through the pipes. What the hell?

In Which Amurrica Isn't a Plural Society

2008-12-02T01:54:00.001-08:00

01.12.2008

Today is the beginning of a new month. The last month of the year. I have a full month and ten days more before I return home.

I think it just actually hit me that I will be spending Christmas here. More that I will be spending New Years' (the Russian time for Christmas) with another family. THAT is bizarre. I have no idea what's going to happen, in terms of me celebrating with them or anything. I'll definitely get Tatyana something, but I have no idea how the rest of it will work.

Last night's plan of going to bed early and getting up to be productive didn't work as well as planned. I went to bed at about 10:40, completely exhausted, but didn't fall asleep until about 2 in the morning. Which was TERRIBLY frustrating. Then, when I woke up this morning, it turned out I didn't have Grammar class ANYWAY, so I slept in an hour then got up and did a bit of work. So it wasn't a TOTAL waste, I suppose.

Human Rights today was a riot. I go in, and ... I'm the only student. Oh, and Andrei Vladimirovich gave me an A for the first half of the semester, which was a pleasant surprise. I guess he DOESN'T hate me. But in any case, we started class, and I was able to talk a lot more freely when no one was there. Then the other guy in the class showed up (I am fairly sure his name is Anzor... or something ... like that). But Andrei Vladimirovich forced me to talk for most of the time, which was pretty awful. Though, it's funny, since I just realised that the Russian students don't really understand any of the concepts in class ... but ... I do? Maybe it's because it has to do with HUMAN RIGHTS, WHICH THEY DON'T HAVE?! I kid, of course.

While Andrei Vladimirovich was preparing something on the computer, Anzor asked me if I thought America was a plural society. To which I replied yes. And then he said he didn't think it was. To which I responded "uhm, alright..." To be perfectly honest, I can't see ANY country in our day NOT having a plural society... But, who knows.

Then, while travelling down the escalator in the metro I saw several stickers for a protest that's going on this month. They were pretty vague; there were only two variations of protest slogans that I saw: “State, answer for the crisis!” and “Change the authority, not the constitution!” Clearly, I am going to stay away from said marches. But I'm interested in seeing the media reaction.

That's it for today. NEED TO DO THAT PRESENTATION, DONTCHA KNOW.

In Which Thanksgiving is Celebrated

2008-12-01T05:34:00.001-08:00

27.11.2008

Today was actually fairly interesting. ДЕНЬ БЛАДОДАРЕНИЯ!! Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Today was the first day we've had a SMI class where everyone was in attendance. It's gotten to the point where I actually like all of my classes except for Grammar in Situations, and I hate that class mostly because of the professor. More on that later.

The teacher in SMI made a comment today about how they were taught in school that Thanksgiving wwas an important holiday to the Americans, and the main dish was turkey, etc etc. It kind of struck me that we... really ... Don't learn anything like that in school, about other cultures, and such. Even something as simple as that. Unless you're in a foreign language class, of course. Then again, the irony is that Thanksgiving doesn't seem to be THAT important in American culture, since we lump it in with Halloween as far as commercialism goes, and jump straight to Christmas before Thanksgiving has even happened. On the other hand, that might make it more integral to our CULTURE, since it DOES seem to be more important on a personal level. I know a lot of people hate to miss Thanksgiving, and families congregate and such. It was always a big day when I lived alone with my mom, because we very rarely sat at the table to eat, and she'd even fix a plate for Missy (our dog, for those who don't know) and let HER eat at the table ... Which is actually kind of odd now that I think about it, but it didn't seem odd at the time.

AND THEN, OF COURSE, I SPENT THE LAST THANKSGIVING WITH THE FABULOUS DAYGLO. Which was great.

And then tonight, I spent the Thanksgiving with 30+ Americans and Russians. I cooked green beans, which were FANTASTIC. But my host mother unfortunately SCOFFED at them. Which makes me feel much less guilty about hating on her food sometimes. Four cans of green beans, aalmost completely gone by the end of the dinner. Mmm.

And during said dinner, Emma and EB dared me to take shots of HONEY, which Claire had laid out for people to use with their bread and so forth. For some reason everyone was amazed that I could chug honey..? Diabetes, here I come. Photos on facebook, soon.

Something interesting in my grammar class, today. We were going over different phrases with the word "health" in them (Which, in Russian, makes for a pretty long list). Many of these were different greetings, wishes, or exclamations. One was a sort of "Long live (so and so)," in translation. Well, the example used was "Long live comrade Stalin." Now, think about this for a second. Can anyone even IMAGINE what would happen if someone used this sort of example in a German class, only, with Hitler? In America, in Germany, doesn't matter where. Completely and entirely unacceptable. But Stalin? Acceptable, and even encouraged by some.

It makes sense. There are many reasons, and many CLEAR reasons as to why this is more "acceptable." Not that I AGREE with these reasons. It's scary, is what it is. It SHOULD be horribly offensive, to Russians most of all. But it isn't. Quite the opposite, Russians are Stalin's biggest apologists. The only thing that doesn't make sense is this -- Russians are very ... "ethnically conscious," I guess one could say. I suppose this comes from decades of having your "nationality" on your mandatory domestic passport. Even in Russian language, there is a difference between Russian as a nationality (русский) and being a citizen of the Russian Federation (российский). Russians even rag on Khrushchev for being Ukrainian. But Stalin? As we all, including Russians, know, Stalin was Georgian. This ... doesn't seem to matter. I don't know. My head hurts and I'm tired, so I'm not making much sense right now.

Can I make a confession? I kind of wish I could stay, next semester. Actually, I take that back. Here's what I want: Three months break, adjustment, and preparation for return, in the US. Then, come back for a semester or longer. But that simply can't happen. So, alas.

Oh, and an interesting pop-culture reference to my "smiling" thing I posted a couple entries back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCcPt7cbMJ0
(I hope that's the right video -- I can't view it on this computer.)

28.11.2008

Went to the Hermitage again, today. I think by this point I've seen everything I'm going to see, there. I stumbled across the 20th century gallery, today, and that was great. Also find an expansive exhibit of the ancient Slavic tribes and the Golden Horde, which was also great, ESPECIALLY when I stumbled across a preserved skeleton. All three were pretty much free of people. The bad thing is, I actually came out from the OPPOSITE side, so I didn't get to go to the gift shop like I had planned. I'll have to go one more time just for that if nothing else. It's free to get in, so it's not that big of a deal.

After that went to Bryan's to clean up from last night's festivities, but I didn't do much cleaning. Didn't seem like they needed me, anyway. Maneka contacted me and wanted to go to dinner after her byon lesson, so we went to a Chinese restaurant and it was delicious.

That was basically my day... Which isn't that much, but for some reason every time I go into the Hermitage I get lost and spend hours wandering in circles trying to find new exhibits. I waited in the golden peacock clock room today for like twenty minutes so I could see it go off, but it didn't seem to be working, today, so that was frustrating.

Tomorrow I am to go to Professor Vertkin's apartment for dinner. I'm meeting with Olga before then, so that we could go together and not get lost. Then, Sunday, I'm supposed to get together with Yura and “drink vine.” Hehe.

And all before Wednesday I am to be ready for a presentation that I haven't started yet. Damn it.

Here we go again.

30.11.2008

So yesterday was a mess. Spent the morning doing a bit of research for my presentation, then I had to get ready to meet Olga so we could head over to Professor Vertkin's. Well, I left, and got a text from her saying she wasn't going ... So I ended up being about 40 minutes early to metro Elektrosila, and just wandered around that area, which was boring as hell. Eventually I boarded the trolleybus to make my way to Vertkin's apartment building. And it was my first experience on a trolleybus!

I felt so environmentally conscious.

AND, the seats were nice and cushioned, the conductor was more amicable, it was less crowded and a smoother ride. However, it was slower, alas. But that didn't matter in this case, considering how early I was.

So, when I got to his door, I rang the bell... rang again... knocked ... After about 10 minutes a girl answers the door wearing nothing but a shirt and a towel. Which was quite embarassing. Especially since I thought I had the wrong apartment. But she invited me in and said that Dima will be in soon. That turned out to be his neice. So when Vertkin came in, he was somewhat surprised that I was already there. Theeen he offered me beer... which I declined... And forced me to drink wine. I chose white.

His apartment was SO nice. Brand brand new, and he had someone come in and design it... New wallpaper, matching furniture. Kind of empty, but that's to be expected. Very simple, huge kitchen. But anyway. We had dinner, fantastic dinner, fantastic conversation. Overall great time. Discussed POLITICS most of the time. It was good.

And then today I spent all day doing work, basically, but I feel like I haven't done much. Wrote 8 pages of notes (For my presentation) and my PEN ran out. AGAIN. And this was Tatyana's pen, so I guess I better buy her a new one when I go out to buy a pen for MYSELF tomorrow.

In Which Cars Explode

2008-11-27T03:34:00.001-08:00

26.11.2008

I remembered something I wanted to say on Monday. I was recently informed that the bridge I cross like six times a week to go to Bobrinskij is the bridge off of which Sonya jumps, in "Crime and Punishment." I thought about this as I traversed its icy surface on Monday, nearly SLIPPING and FALLING into the river, myself. WELL, AT LEAST I WOULD BE IN GOOD COMPANY.

Today was somewhat halfway decent, I suppose. Nothing out of the ordinary. Professor Vertkin invited us to his house on Saturday for a Thanksgiving dinner. Which is kind of strange, I guess. He was talking about how he remembers what professors would do for the international students when he was abroad and such, so I guess he wanted to do similar. But I'm not sure how he's going to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner by himself... We'll see how that goes.

Oh, and I asked him about the Russian cultural perception of being polite to those you hate, and he said it's not as universal as it is in the US, and entirely depends on the person... That is, some people act overly friendly and polite to those they hate, others act indifferent, and still others react violently towards said individuals. So I basically have no way of knowing if Andrei Vladimirovich doesn't like me.

He also had something interesting to say about the unsmiling nature of Russia. He has a theory that it's a Soviet holdover (much like everything else that is entirely unpleasant in this country), from when basically everyone was miserable and no one had much of a reason to smile. He said the rising middle class and the changes Russia is undergoing is changing this cultural phenomenon. That is to say, those who are doing better off than before are smiling more often, while those who are still miserable don't smile. OR MAYBE IT'S JUST THE PROLIFERATION OF AMERICAN CULTURE THAT IS FORCING A REGIMEN OF DAILY SMILES ON THE LOCAL POPULATION?!

Something that I find particularly ddisturbing... I have heard nothing about the car explosion in St. Petersburg in the news, here. I just happened to stumble across it on the BBC today, and then heard a few of the Americans say that their friends had contacted them to see if they were doing alright... And none of the Americans knew about it before they were contacted, either. I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean. I know if something like that happened in America, the news would be all over it, and that would be the only damned headline for over a week. I don't know if the government just doesn't want people to know about it, or if it's .. just ... not a big thing for St. Petersburg? I mean, nothing like that really happens here very often. Granted, it's thought that it was a mistake, and not a terrorist attack or anything, but again, MISTAKES like that don't seem to happen very often, here.

I spoke with Yura, today, and I'm trying to convince him to go with me to Finland and the Baltic states. He seemed interested, so, there we go.

I was watching MTV Russia, just now, and they have a bunch of strange specials going on before the Russian Music awards... Well, the one I just watched was juxtaposing a few of Russia's major top hits with really old American (and I think one French) songs, showing that these new Russian artists basically ripped off old songs tune for tune, and wrote their own songs to fit them. And then this Russian music producer went on a rant about how these artists were horribly unoriginal, and how they shouldn't be popular and junk. Which is bizarre, because I can't imagine a music producer saying this, on MTV nevertheless. But maybe they're trying to sway the music awards vote. Somewhat interesting.

Plans for the next week:
-Thursday: Thanksgiving Dinner at Bryan's
-Friday: Hermitage for MAYBE the last time, then a walk down Nevsky
-Saturday: Thankgiving Dinner, Take Two, at Dmitry Vertkin's, then Central Station
...
-NEXT Thursday: Shopping Trip! I would go this Sunday, but Christmas sales are popping up everywhere and that means absurd amounts of people everywhere.

In Which Procrastination KILLS ME

2008-11-26T00:52:00.001-08:00

25.11.2008

So I promised myself last night that as soon as I got home, today, I would start on my paper. Period. Because otherwise there'd be no way that I'd finish it.

And what am I doing? SURE AS HELL AIN'T MAH PAPER.

Six weeks left. Still so much to do, but I'm not lamenting. I'll have to fill each weekend with fun things, however. I'm going to try and see if I can get tickets to the "St Petersburg Opera," about which Vika told me today. She said it's small and cheap, especially compared to the Mikhailovskij and the Mariinskij. So I'll have to see what's playing.

We started a chapter in Razgovor today about ... ordering food and shopping. This would have been useful about, oh, I don't know, THREE MONTHS AGO? I've realised that I've been using terribly incorrect terms and structures when I go out to restaurants or shopping. So that's just fantastic.

Damn it, I know there were a couple other things I wanted to talk about, today, but I forgot what they were...

Well, one was about something in Razgovor. We were going over a list of things one would buy in a cosmetics store, and one of them was "туалетная вода." Which literally translates to "toilet water." Of course, I, being the mature individual that I am, burst out laughing. I think two of the girls in the class were genuinely confused as to why "toilet water" was on this list, and the teacher didn't find it very funny. So, I had to go into an explanation about how in America, we don't translate "eau de toilette" on perfume, because "toilet" in English solely means ... well, the toilet. Apparently the Russian "туалет" is taken directly from the French in meaning. This just further proves my theory that English is a horribly crass language.

On the downside, I have almost finished my last jar of peanut butter. My mom said she sent me another jar a couple weeks ago, so we'll see if that gets here. I wish I hadn't eaten so much of the first jar when I lived in the dorms...

Edit: Alright, so, I was reading BBC, and there were several news stories about terrorist incidents in southern Russia -- Around the Caucasus and such. Well, then there was one about a car exploding, and I figured that was almost in the Caucasus, and almost didn't read it ... But...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7747369.stm

In Which Human Rights Are Painful

2008-11-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

24.11.2008

On the way home from class, I saw a cafe I had never noticed, before... It was called "Де-Факто / Кафе Учёта Событий" (De-Fakto - Kafe Uchyota Sobytij). De Facto - Cafe Calculation of Events. What in the name of God? That's probably the worst cafe in Petersburg. I kind of want to go, now.

Other than that, the day was kind of painful. I wore my fur hat for the first time, and looked like an arctic explorer doing so (photos soon). Because... IT WAS SNOWING. AGAIN. Basically I fell twice today and looked like a jackass doing so. It's not like you can ANTICIPATE the fall. The first time was no more than two minutes after leaving the apartment, and I was being CAREFUL. The second time, I was just walking along the sidewalk, fine and dandy, thinking about homework, on the way back from class, when suddenly, "Wait, why the hell am I on the ground?"

Some jackass left the windows open in our room for grammar, ALL WEEKEND, so the room was COLD AS FUCK despite heating being on and leaving the door open. As a result, I couldn't think in class, and so on.

Other than that the day was fairly uneventful. I finished and sent one paper for human rights, and Andrei Vladimirovich immediately asked for my OTHER paper as well. I told him I hadn't finished it yet, then asked if I could turn it in on Wednesday, but that is 'too late.' I haven't even started on it. I really wanted to write both papers in Russian, but I simply don't have the time. So, damn. I think he's getting tired of me, but I can't tell. He dragged Anya into his office today and yelled at her, I think -- at least, she came out and said he was getting after her about something. Then, guess what.... ANOTHER GIRL JOINED OUR CLASS, TODAY. What the hell? I think she might be a prospective, or something.

He basically used today just to recap what he's taught semester, probably because I HAVE BEEN THE ONLY STUDENT WHO'S BEEN IN THE CLASS SINCE THE BEGINNING. So he kept calling on me to explain things, and I clearly don't know how to express myself, and he was getting impatient.

Speaking of which, I better go WRITE THAT PAPER.

Actually, one cultural enigma I haven't unwrapped, yet. I know that in America, when you don't like someone, it is culturally polite to be perfectly pleasant and friendly to that someone. I am wondering if it's the same here? Because he's fairly nice to me whenever he sees me, and smiles and says hi when we see each other. But when the other guy in the class showed up late, today, as per usual, Andrei just kind of grimaced and said hello. I think I may ask Dr. Vertkin on Wednesday, since he seems more interested in discussing the fine points of Russian and American culture than other professors.

In Which A MASSIVE UPDATE Is Made

2008-11-24T04:20:00.000-08:00

19.11.2008

It snowed today. That was pretty for about three seconds, until the day actually started and all the snow turned into black and brown slush. Except for that snow on the sidewalk which was trampled into ice by the throngs of pedestrians, left for me to SLIP ON at least FIVE TIMES throughout the day.

So, I actually woke up at 8 this morning, and realised I never set my alarm. That was convenient. Then, when I woke up for the day, I wasn't that terribly tired. I felt quite refreshed and good. You'd think that'd be the start to a good day, right? WRONG.

I got on the bus, and the conductor said something to me that I didn't understand. Well, halfway through the ride they stopped letting people on, so I had a terrible image flashed through my mind that they were going to kick me off at some stop I didn't know and I was going to be stuck in the snow in the middle of the city and not know how to get to school. SO, I got off at a stop I was familiar with, and took a different bus. Which was mildly obnoxious because I was already running late, plus that killed 16 more rubles.

And then my Central Asian class ended on a heated debate over Kyrgyz bride kidnapping.

20.11.2008

This cat won't leave me alone. I came in here and sat on my bed to write an entry, and she jumped up and sat in my lap. I postponed the journal writing for about 20 minutes, then decided enough was enough, and picked her up and set her on the floor. She didn't get the hint, and just jumped right back up on the bed and walked into my lap. So I guess I'll just have to write over her.

...Oh ew, Brittany Spears is still making music? Her video "Womanizer" just came on TV. This is awful. Amusingly, her hair changes colour, shape, and length about four times throughout the entire course of the video.

I'm in an annoying cycle, right now. When I'm out and about, with people, or even just at school, I feel "fine," I guess. "Fine" in the sense that I don't really have much of a sense of homesickness while I'm out. But while I'm at home, sitting around, I just want to go BACK. I guess my most defining symptoms are strong desires to do things that I just can't do here. Other than that, I just feel TIRED all the time, and I don't want to do ANYTHING. ANYTHING, as in, I don't even really want to go out. I just want to sit in bed and stare at the walls all day. Which is basically what I do when I get back from classes, anymore. It's possible that the weather is having more of an effect than I thought it originally would... It's just barely light out when I go to classes, and it's almost always dark by the time I get out of them. Plus it's cold.

Speaking of coldness, I'm seeing the fur hats emerging. An old woman and an old man on the bus today were wearing ushanki, and this other old woman wearing a different kind of fur hat. I haven't worn mine, yet, though. But I don't think it's so cold that I need one ... I never really wear a fur hat for warmth in the U.S., even as cold as it gets in Maryland, and it's just barely under freezing, here. Sooo I'm going to wait a bit, I suppose, and continue to just wrap my head with my scarf.

Also, on the way to the metro from class today there was a Russian man singing and playing on the side of the pedestrian street (as there usually are). This one, however, was singing "Stairway to Heaven." I thought it was mildly amusing, but I think others might appreciate it more.

I've recently come upon a word that I think sounds stupid. Yes. This word is " девчонка." (devchonka... I guess the translation would be 'gal' or something - the female version of 'guy'). DevCHONKa? Ew. Well, I suppose 'gal' is kind of gross, too. Whatever.

I think what I really need to do is just FIND SOMETHING TO DO. Something new, and interesting. Or just something simple that I haven't done, yet. I've been to the Hermitage more times than I can count. I've been to ballets, to operas (not to mention they're all SO DAMNED EXPENSIVE this month for some reason). I'm going to the Russian museum in a group on Sunday. I don't know what to do? It's getting too cold to just go out and around, and everything here is just so damned expensive, so I don't know.

At the same time, I just want to sleep away the next two months. I don't want to go out. I don't want to work. I don't want to do any damned thing. But clearly that's not going to happen. But in a way it is, since I just sit in my room and do the bare minimum to get by in classes, after returning from the university every day. I don't know what the hell to do to get out of this slump. Forcing myself to do work or read or anything isn't going to do it -- Something else needs to change. Something to change my attitude, my mood. I don't know.

I also think my research habits have just gone down the drain since I've been here. I have three different research projects going on right now (two of them rather small, but still) and I tried to work on two of them, today. Basically I just sat staring at the computer because I didn't know what to do. I've just completely forgotten HOW to research. I think mostly in terms of contemporary issues, though, since I did just fine on my research for the Hungarian war... But that in itself was an easier topic to research. Today I was trying to research on whether or not Russia was a plural or consocial (?) society in the 90's or today. I went about it by first trying to figure out specifically what the conditions for the above two concepts were, and then looking at brief descriptions of the 90's and contemporary Russia... and basically the brief descriptions did me no good. Mostly because the 90's were such a crazy ass fucking time that descriptions of that particular decade in Russia do not focus on the topics I need. So I'm stuck. I don't know.

22.11.2008

Alright, so, the past couple of days have changed my mood, for now. I hope it's not an entirely temporary change. BUT, first off:

My hair always looks awesome right after I dry/straighten it after a shower. But, as soon as I:

-Sleep
-Step outside
-Try to style it

it immediately looks like SHIT. I don't know why. Actually, all in all, I feel like I have zero skill in controlling my hair or making it look half-decent. I don't know -- Maybe I'm just too lazy, or I just don't know how to do it. It wouldn't be half as bad except for some reason every guy here seems to be able to keep their hair PERFECTLY ABSOLUTELY STRAIGHT AND STYLED in RAINSTORMS AND BLIZZARDS. Women, I expect this. But men? Not so much. Don't know what the hell that's about. BUT IN ANY CASE.

Yesterday was Friday, so I spent most of the day DOING RESEARCH, OF COURSE. I had planned on going to the Hermitage or something, but then decided I should do RESEARCH. Because I am an INTELLIGENT INDIVIDUAL, OF COURSE. After that I went out to eat with Emma, EB and her three friends who are visiting from Moscow (Americans). We spent forever and a day deliberating on where to go (We were originally going to go to a Georgian restaurant, but one of the friends vetoed it), and finally chose a not-too-fantastic Italian restaurant on Nevsky, which wasn't too terribly priced. So I can't really complain. After that we went out for icecream. (And, no offence to EB, but these three girls were just about the most boring people I have ever met) Eventually, Emma and I departed to go home, when we noticed that Dom Knigi (bookstore) was open. We went inside, and it was a HELL of a lot more pleasant than it is during the day -- Real quiet, not busy at all. I found a book on Russian folk belief, plus Emma showed me these SOVIET POLITICAL POSTER BOOKS that are ULTRA CHEAP for what they are. They have a bunch of different poster books, each with a different theme (Political posters, Cold War posters, revolutionary posters, anti-vice, etc), each with 20 posters at about maybe 24x12 or some other quite large size for less than 20 dollars a book. And she said they have them at the Political Museum, even CHEAPER. So I plan on going there, sometime. I hope they don't randomly disappear.

Today we went on a shopping spree (We being EB, Emma, Bryan). Bryan said there was a clothing store near his apartment that had stuff he said "I might like." We went there and everything was like hundreds of dollars. I found a nice belt I thought about buying, because I thought it said 360 rubles... which is even cheap in America... but then I looked again and it was 7360 rubles. Which is well over 200 dollars. For a very simple belt. Then I saw a really neat jacket I really wanted... but it was 63,000 rubles. which according to my calculator is over 2000 dollars. I MIGHT HAVE bought it for 150 dollars. MIGHT. HAVE. Because it was really neat, and 150 dollars is a lot. But ... 2000 dollars? No thank you. Bryan said their dressing room had a stocked bar. That place was kind of ridiculous. I don't know how they stay open. I guess every time they sell one thing it's like selling... ten things. I don't know. Who the fuck shops at those places? Absurd.

To top it all off, as we left the store, I heard an "Excuse me" behind me, and one of the salespeople came out of the store and handed me ... a button. That had fallen off my coat. So, yes, THE BUTTON FELL OFF MY COAT in this ultra flashy store. How embarassing. Remind me to return to them in ten years when I'm a multi billionaire, and buy them out. Kthx.

After that we went to a few other overpriced stores, and then I discovered where most Russians probably buy their clothes. We went to a hole-in-the-wall packed clothing store that had pants for like 20 dollars and such, and fake Armani shirts. But I didn't see anything that I liked.

We went to another store called 'Interactive' which sold Russian-designed stuff, and was decently priced. But unfortunately had very loud music with the bass turned up absurdly high, so I had a headache after sitting in there for a while and literally couldn't hear what the salesperson was saying to me. I was determined to buy something, but none of the men's pants appealed to me, and I found a couple other things I might've bought had they been cheaper... THEN! Emma pointed out a pair of BRIGHT YELLOW PANTS to me. Of course, I was immediately drawn to them, and had to try them on ... These are. The TIGHTEST pants I have ever worn. And I'm sure many of you can't understand how that is even possible. They are bright bright yellow, with bright lime and hot pink stitching on the back pockets. When I tried them on, just about everyone in the store was staring at me. On top of that, I was wearing a deep purple button-up shirt, which, strangely, complemented the pants perfectly. And so, they were bought. I may return to this store. I was half tempted to buy a HIPSTER scarf because a lot of Russians wear them, but Russians seem to wear them better than Americans. However, I did not.

Then we went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant, and I just realised this is the first time I've eaten Chinese food in Russia. This was a pretty neat place, with its decorations and such. Each booth was actually in its own little room, with a bead curtain and wooden latticework and such. And the food was fantastic. I ordered something that I couldn't translate... all that I could tell was that it was chicken something. And it, ws aactually... Fantastic. It was a really spicy chicken dish with carrots, cucumbers (gross), hot peppers and some nut that I couldn't identify. I've actually been trying to order spicy spicy dishes every time I go out anymore, because the Russian idea of "spice" is ... salt and pepper. and sometimes, MAYBE, if you're lucky, garlic.

... And now it's already time to go to sleep. And I haven't done a damn thing that was productive, today. Good Christ, my work ethic has gone out the damned window.

23.11.2008

So, in spite of what I said yesterday, I woke up today and my hair actually looked perfect for the first time since I came to this country. Then... I looked out the window... And it was a SNOW BLIZZARD. Yarghle.

But it actually wasn't that cold. THANK GOD. Otherwise the day would've been even more miserable than it was. I went outside and had to walk all the way to the metro AGAINST the wind, so I couldn't see the entire time, and I kept stumbling off the sidewalk into two feet of snow. I tried to use my umbrella, but that busted COMPLETELY as SOON as I opened it, so, so much for that. Now I need a new one. I saw some poor guy walking through the piled up black mud-slush on the side of the crosswalk in WHITE sneakers. That would be awful.

When I got to Ploshchad' Iskusstv (Square of the Arts), the weather was actually a lot more pleasant. Not as much wind, since it was in the centre of the city, and that square is a park with a big statue of Pushkin in the centre, so it was really pretty and white. I waited with Elena for a while, then others showed up. While waiting, a busload of children was let loose in the park and they all started a snowball fight. At some point they started to just throw snowballs at Pushkin. Which was amusing. Then after about ten minutes they all piled back onto the bus. Shortly after, we went into the Russian museum.

Nothing terribly exciting in the museum. OH, except, when I went to the bathroom, I heard some old woman yelling “Мужской, мужской! Men!” When I came out, Maneka said she was yelling at me because she thought I was a girl. This seems to happen to me a lot.

I wish I had more time in the museum, though – I broke away from the tour to explore on my own. Good art, and that was about it. I wanted to search through the gift shops a bit more but didn't get the chance. I stumbled upon the portrait of NONE OTHER THAN PRINCE FELIKS YUSUPOV, HOWEVER. Which was BETTER THAN I COULD HAVE IMAGINED. Strangely it was entitled “Count Feliks Samarkov-El'ston,” however (YES, RYAN, YOUR LAST NAME). I guess that was before he became prince or somesuch.

After that we went to some sort of cafe and ate 'lunch.' The trip home was an awful trudging through sludge-slush and snow, which was even deeper than before. The worst was trying to cross through the crosswalks, because where there are normally visible LAKES of water during rain, there were TRAPS of nasty black slush-water surrounded by other slush, and I slipped into a few of these. I'm sure I looked like an idiot trying to hop from shallow spot to shallow spot, but I don't care.

Oh, on the metro I witnessed something that could have turned into ... horror, basically. I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye, and some guy had flicked his lighter... I looked over, and these two guys were gesturing with the lighter at this other guy who had his back turned to them, about ten feet away, and he had fairly long really puffy hair (probably from the moisture). Well, one of the guys walks up behind the third guy, and it seems like he's going to SET THIS GUY'S HAIR ON FIRE. The other guy motions like, 'Nah, don't do it.” The guy with the lighter is clearly like “Come on! It'll be funny!” but doesn't do it, and walks back to his friend... I think I'm the only one who noticed this exchange, and I honestly didn't know what the hell I would do if they had ACTUALLY set this guy's hair on fire. I was pretty horrified that anyone would even THINK about doing that. What the fuck is wrong with people? This is why I always try to avoid groups of younger guys on the metro.

I hate to end the entry on that note, but there you have it.

Basically, I didn't do a damned bit of work this weekend. I'm going to do that tonight, + talk with parents as per every Sunday. So, there we go.

In Which .... I don't know.

2008-11-19T01:24:00.001-08:00

18.11.2008

Alright, so, JEN called me as I was sitting down to write my entry for tonight, and therefore I have forgotten everything about which I was going to write. THANKS A LOT, JEN. =P

Basically, I have a ton of work and zero desire to do it. Indeed, I'm going to make a list here just for my own personal perspective:

-6,000 word essay on Russia as a plural society (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean)
-8,000 word essay on a regional Human Rights situation.
-Presentation in SMI on Thursday
-Readings for Russia/USA International Politics Course
-Readings for Central Asian State Formation Course
-Current Issues in Kyrgyzstan
-Presentation on Ukraine for Russia/USA Course
-All Other RSL Coursework
-Registering for Classes at Goucher (AKA: What A Fucking Mess)

That's really about it. Well, that, and I want to purge myself of my host mother's food right now.

Other than that, today was actually pretty boring... I'm getting ready to watch "Черный Ворон" (Chyornyj Voron; Black Raven) which is some strange Russian supernatural/occult show. I haven't seen it yet, but I saw an advertisement for it a few days ago and thought it might be interesting to watch.

Actually, I have a question for those who are from Goucher and read this -- Do classes taken while studying abroad count towards our GPA?

Uhm, I think that's it... I've just developed a new hatred for lugging my laptop across the city to no end, and I've realised I actually hate the newer models of busses here because they have fewer seats so I'm forced to stand unless I want to move to the back of the bus. Which I never do, because the back of the bus is generally an AWFUL place.

Oh, and I'm not sure I can learn this language. It's just gotten to the point where I feel like I can't memorise ANY damned words... I need to USE them, or HEAR them, repeatedly, or I just lose them. That being said, this SHOULD be the perfect environment for that, so I fear my return to America, when everything will just LEAK OUT OF MY SKULL. I don't know. I'm drowning.

So now I'm going to go watch TV instead of doing work.

In Which Heads Explode

2008-11-18T04:17:00.000-08:00

17.11.2008

Today was fairly uneventful. I took a test I probably failed, and I didn't understand anything going on in my Grammar class for some reason. Ironically, I understood my Human Rights class more than I usually do. For the first time, ALL THREE STUDENTS WERE IN ATTENDANCE! Well, kind of. The Russian guy, whose name I do not know because the teacher says it and I'm all "What the hell?" because it's a bizarre name, was just sitting there looking bored and texting people on his phone the whole class. Which is apparently a very Russian thing to do. Hell if I know. I think the teacher is convinced I don't know anything, though.

OH. OH. RIGHT. I got my pay for tutoring. Which made me feel like shit. Because I got 1,500 rubles. For ... what, exactly? Every Thursday I sit in Bobrinskij for less than 40 minutes, waiting for people to come and they never do. About five times, now. And that's more than a lot of Russians make in like ... hell if I know. But yeah. Basically it's a flawed system? I guess I shouldn't complain since I got a decent amount of money out of the deal and shouldn't have to withdraw anything for a few more weeks at the VERY least.

Well, unless I actually buy things other than PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, ACTIVIA and SNICKERS.

So basically my woes are thus: I have two things I need to write for my Human Rights class, and the problem is mostly my comprehension of what I need to write. The one that was assigned today is that I need to explain if a 'plural society' existed in Russia in the 90's, if it exists today, and if so under what model. Then I need to PROPOSE a model for today's Russia ... ? In 6,000 characters. Which isn't very long. So, uhm, we'll see what happens.

OH, and in class today, the teacher said "в Украине," (in Ukraine) and the girl in the class interrupted him and said "НА Украине." (in THE Ukraine) He just kind of paused for a moment and said "Как вы хотите." (As you wish) I thought this was interesting because I was told, even by my UKRAINIAN Russian language professor, that it's "на Украине," period. I proposed that "в Украине" would be more correct NOW since Ukraine is a COUNTRY and not a TERRITORY. She disagreed. BUT NOW I have leverage!

So, like Jen, I am all of a sudden wanting to burn Goucher to the ground. I still have a block on my account, meaning I can't register for classes tomorrow unless it's magically removed from my account while I'm sleeping. Which means that once it's removed I will be THE LAST PERSON TO REGISTER. BEHIND ALL THE FUCKING FRESHMEN. The block is because of my enrollment deposit, WHICH WAS SENT IN TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO. I sent an e-mail to them today, so hopefully something happens. I have a nice orderly schedule set out, and I really hope it isn't FUCKED UP. On top of that, there's little chance of me getting a single next semester. Which, I suppose, isn't surprising. I'll again have to room with someone I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. And inevitably it will be an AWFUL PERSON. I wouldn't mourn all that much, except the system is so fucked up because SO MANY FRESHMEN get singles for NO APPARENT REASON except for the fact that the college admits so many people then so many more are shuffled out because they hate the college, and somehow freshmen are the first people on the queue for singles. Or some shit. OR, LIKE BRENDAN AND HIS FUCKING SOPHOMORE FRIENDS, they make up some BULLSHIT "special house" and choose their rooms before anyone else, COMPLETELY UNDESERVEDLY. I'm not as angry at Brendan for this, because he's a Junior and deserves the single I'd say, BUT NOT HIS SOPHOMORE FRIENDS.

Alright, I'm going to go do my homework WHILE I'M STILL IN A GOOD MOOD.

In Which the Militsia Stop an American

2008-11-17T01:12:00.001-08:00

14.11.2008

So today was ... interesting. Last night after writing my entry about having no friends I contacted Yura and we decided to get together, today. But, for most of the day I sat in the Smolny office and did research for a presentation I have in a few weeks. Yura called me at around 5, and we met up in front of the Petrogradskij metro. He had with him a friend, whose name was Sasha. (COINCIDENCE?! Yeah, probably, since EVERYONE HERE IS NAMED SASHA. Or, at least, everyone named "Aleksandr" or "Aleksandra") I couldn't tell if they were TOGETHER (as in dating) or not -- But that doesn't mean anything because I'm in Russia and I'm sure people try to mask it. Of course, I wasn't able to tell if he and Andrei were together when I first met then, too, until Andrei told me they were, and that was in a gay club. I think he and Andrei broke up, though -- I haven't asked. I know they got into a fight that night. BUT IN ANY CASE. This Sasha fellow was quite attractive. A красавец, if you will.

But in any case, we basically walked a circle around the Petrogradskij island and talked, which was thoroughly enjoyable. Apparently, this is a very Russian thing to do, even in bad weather, because it doesn't cost any money. Going out to eat is really expensive here. Actually, pretty much everything except public transportation is really expensive here. Really, not much of anything to say about that. We walked, we talked, and that was that. He's supposed to call me to go out tomorrow or Sunday, again, so we'll see what happens.

But, while we were approaching the metro, we were stopped by two militsia, and asked for our documents... I didn't say anything, so they didn't know I was American until they looked at my passport. He didn't even really look at my documents -- I think he was surprised and taken offguard. He just looked at the top of my (folded) multi-pass visa, which only says my name, date of birth, and country... he didn't look at the bottom part, which shows what dates I'm allowed to be here, and my photo, or anything else. He handed it back and saluted, then turned and whispered something to the other officer, who was checking Yura's and Sasha's documents. That officer handed back their documents, saluted, then they walked off. Apparently they usually try to extort money, but I guess I was lucky... Sasha and Yura whispered something to eachother, then Sasha asked to see my passport. I'm assuming just to see what a US passport looks like (except, I just carry a copy with me). He was surprised about something, but I'm not sure. After that, they went off, and I went to meet Elizabeth and Bryan for dinner.

And that was pretty much it for today. Bryan told me of a few clothing stores here that sell Russian-designed stuff, so I want to stop by those sometime and see if there's anything decently interesting. I think the idea of Russian fashion just kind of passed me by completely -- I figured they just went off the French and Italian trends or something, like the rest of Europe. Who knows. We'll see. Going to an Indian restaurant with Maneka + others, tomorrow, then the BLACK PARTY at Central Station! So tomorrow should be great.

EXCEPT I HAVE A TEST ON FUCKING MONDAY. I fucking hate my Grammar in Situations class. It's absolutely absurd. Mostly because of the professor. I can't stand that professor. Yargh.

One cultural note: I feel like the Russian "group of friends" is a really powerful social unit, here... Usually they're in pairs, but I notice higher frequencies of threes and fours on the evenings and weekends. I don't know, I just feel such a level of closeness when passing or just seeing these groups of people that isn't normally attained in America. It's strange. I'm not sure how to describe it, really.

16.11.2008

Yesterday I had planned on shopping, then going out to eat for Maneka's birthday, and staying out all night at Central Station. Also possibly planned on going out with Yura if he ended up calling me. Very little of this actually happened, but FIRST, something I forgot to mention on Friday's entry.

When I was out walking with Yura and Sasha, we stopped in a little gift shop because I guess Sasha needed to buy a Christmas/New Year's gift for someone. I mentioned off-hand that I, too, needed to buy gifts for friends and family in America. Well, the store didn't have what Sasha was looking for (I think), so they forced me to look around... There really wasn't anything interesting in the least, except some neat stuff that I would buy if I didn't have to CAREFULLY PACK IT AND LUG IT HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD, NO EXAGGERATION. Fancy glass hourglasses and such. There were some neat opera glasses I almost bought, but I didn't know to whom I would give them, plus I didn't have enough money on me. But in any case, Yura saw a chess board IN WHICH ALL THE PIECES WERE SHOTGLASSES, and suggested I take that to America. And he wasn't joking. It was like, the tackiest, trashiest thing I've ever seen, but apparently to a Russian this is a good idea for a gift. I could imagine being in the mall with Brendan, Jen, and Sarah, seeing this in like Spencer's Gifts or something and joke about buying it for about five seconds and moving on.

But anyway, back to Saturday. I ended up staying in almost all day, on and off doing work and taking naps (I have been sickeningly tired all the time this past week). I didn't really feel like shopping, so I didn't call Emma, and decided we could go if she called me, which she didn't. And Yura never called. So, in I stayed. I did go with Maneka and friends, though, to dinner, AND IT TOOK SOME CONVINCING TO TATYANA TO NOT FEED ME BEFORE I WENT. Good lord.

Dinner was fantastic – We went to an Indian restaurant, which was entirely EMPTY when we got there. It was a really nice place, though. We ordered a bunch of different food and shared it all amongst ourselves. And it was delicious. An older American couple who had very heavy Minnesota accents came and sat a table over from us, and I was the only one who was able to tell that they were speaking English, which was kind of sad. Illana ordered a birthday icecream surprise for Maneka, in which they gave the rest of us normal icecream, then turned the lights down and brought out a plate of icecream for Maneka, along with a ladle of ALCOHOL, which they SET ON FIRE and POURED IN A CIRCLE around the icecream. It was class. Blue flames were racing a circle around the icecream for like ten seconds.

After that we were going to go to a bar or something but instead we all got lazy and dispersed to our respective homes. I actually walked halfway to Central Station, first, but then decided I'd rather just go home and turned around. It was a good decision. I had a hard enough time waking up at 11:30 after getting home and going to bed. I'd have been asleep all day if I went out.

And I had perfect timing when I got home, too! Kill Bill was on, and I've been wanting to rewatch that movie for a while now. It had pretty damn good dubbing, too. In that the English audio track was not present, and the voice actors actually acted. Quite melodramatically, but the actual actors are melodramatic in that movie anyway. The only annoying part is that the Japanese audio track was there, and one stupid man was doing ALL the dubbing for the Japanese, in a MONOTONE voice. But oh well, can't win everything. Oh, and Bill had a CREEPY ass voice.

... So, my plans for today? Lay around and do work and nap on and off. Yep.

... And apparently find a weird as HELL show. Or, well, it's not a show, but some sort of ... games... reporting thing. Like, I don't know what the hell it is, but this is the second time I've seen it on TV. Some sort of games series in which Russia, China, Kazakhstan and the U.S.A compete. Yes, America. What the hell? The games are like one big joke; everything is all cartoony and strange. But it's all also pretty dangerous and difficult. When I turned the TV on they had a ring with a tree and fake bananas in the centre, and a wild bull running around... Teams of two had to get the most amount of bananas out of the ring. Alright, simple so far. So, both members of each team are dressed up in APE SUITS and one had to WHEELBARROW HIS PARTNER to the centre, without getting GORED BY THIS BULL, and his partner has to climb up the tree, fetch a banana, then drop back down into the wheelbarrow to take the banana back to the edge of the ring. And this continued for a while, with a few near-deaths.

The second game... racers had to HOP ON A CONVEYOUR BELT that was GOING BACKWARDS, while CLOWNS popped out of a CARTOON HOUSE and HIT THEM IN THE FACE WITH PIES.

The third game, another ring with a bull. This time, two people had to race... while wearing PEA TIN CAN costumes, go to the centre, gather as many PEAS as they can (which were big fluffy green balls), and return to the edge of the ring WITHOUT GETTING GORED BY THIS BULL.

And then people had to race on this gigantic cartoony colorful obstacle course dressed up as GIGANTIC ROOSTERS and do something I didn't quite understand.

I am in awe. Does anyone know if these games are covered in the U.S., too? It's kind of a strange mix of countries... the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation and ... the U.S.? What the hell?

In Which I Don't Know What's Going On

2008-11-14T02:40:00.000-08:00

13.11.2008

So today was far more productive in its original principle than it turned out to be. Yeah, I skipped classes. Don't regret that. Slept a bit more. Went to the library a bit later than I had intended. Did a tad bit of work. Spent an absurd amount of time on the computer doing ... I'm not sure what? Oh well.

Oh, and, uh, on the news this morning I saw a story on the news that was showing newspapers from the New York Times with headlines saying "IRAQ WAR ENDS, Troop Withdrawal to Begin Immediately" and "Former President George W. Bush Indicted for High Treason." I wasn’t really paying attention to what was being said, though, so I looked all over a few major news sites for these stories and found absolutely nothing ... ? I'm starting to think that I dreamed this up. Which kind of scares me because I was entirely convinced of it all day until I just started writing it, here, which is absurd since Bush is STILL the president and the chance of troop withdrawal this soon is zero to none, not to mention I don't think anyone is indicted for "high treason" in this day and age. That kind of scares me -- Am I really that detached from reality?

There are many times when I feel this country is beyond description. I do very little justice in my cultural comparisons, really. And I usually feel this while walking across that damned bridge to Bobrinskij. I hate that damned bridge. It's too long, and it's cold and windy. I can't wait until the rain starts freezing on it, and then I SLIP and FALL into the Neva and DIE. Looking forward, I am.

I really want to go to Dolche & Gabbana and just try on all their clothes. And march around. And be obnoxious. But I can't convince anyone to go with me. Because I'm sure as hell not going to do that by myself.

I remember a lot of people asking if I were going to be fluent in Russian by the end of my study abroad. I also remember several people in the program, during orientation, stating one of their goals as "being fluent" by the end of the semester. In both instances I was somewhat mortified, and was wondering if I was being hard on myself/if my expectations were off, or if everyone's idea of either fluency or language acquisition was just completely fucked. I've come to realise that it's definitely the latter. I mean, when I first came I was having a lot of frustrations with the language merely because I thought I knew more than I did, but after a few weeks I was over that. I've heard many people in the program complain, though, that they're never going to learn the language, etc... I don't know, I just thought that was somewhat interesting. I'm also interested in seeing how much Sarah and Anndal have improved in Italian and French, since those languages are much much closer to English than Russian is, and a great deal easier to acquire. Of course, THEY'RE PROBABLY SPEAKING THEIR LANGUAGES MORE THAN I AM, TOO. SO, THERE IS THAT.

My main 'regret,' really, is that I didn't make one decent friend while here. I mean, outside of the program. I've met several fantastic Americans here, with whom I plan on continuing correspondance after I've already left. BUT, that's not why I came here. I mean, I'm already disappointed with the LACK of speaking that I'm doing, here [Though, I did have a great conversation with Liza, today, so that was good]. It's just so damned difficult to make friends. I knew it would be, but the Russian closedness has proven even more difficult to deal with than I originally thought. I think I've already gone into this, though, so I won't bother again.

One thing I'm not looking forward to upon returning to Goucher is the fact that I WON'T HAVE A SINGLE. I'll probably be thrown into a room with four other people that was meant for TWO. But in all seriousness, I really don't think I can live with anyone next semester, unless they happen to be Brendan, Jen, or Sarah, none of which are going to happen, clearly. I'm terrified of what may happen.

Know what I want? A milkshake. Or a strawberry smoothie. Mmm, that sounds good...

I'm going to get a mullet.

P.S.: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7728407.stm I died.

In Which Things Are Weird

2008-11-13T02:39:00.001-08:00

12.11.2008

Today was just a weird day. When I woke up, there was no sign of Tatyana, which was bizarre since I didn't wake up particularly late. Then, while eating and getting ready to leave, I kept smelling wifts of something rotting. It smelled like a dead animal. Which freaked me out, because I thought Mysh might've choked herself to death on something or somesuch and was hiding dead in a corner. Then, when I was leaving, a woman's dog tried to attack me on the steps of the apartment, but, she held it back, plus it had a muzzle on. But still, it was unnerving. Then when I came home tonight the woman was leaving with her damned dog. I stayed clear.

After that... I noticed that ... it was very quiet, for some reason. I could hear my own footsteps when I crossed the street. It was just a very eerie silence, and it unsettled me a little bit. So throughout the day I had an impending sense of DOOM, so to speak.

That... was pretty much it. I thought I had more to say, but apparently not.

I learned about the breakup of Yugoslavia and the "War of All against All" today. That was exciting, since I didn't know much about the topic beforehand.

Uhm, I thought I had more to say... But I can't remember anything.

Apparently I spoke too soon when I said I fought back illness -- I'm still fighting. And it seems I've unfortunately developed a cough, plus a sinus headache earlier today. No good. No good at all. I don't want to waste the little remaining time I have on being ILL. I still have so much more to do!

I'm making a conscious decision to skip classes, tomorrow. I hate both of the classes, and I just don't feel like I can put up with them, tomorrow. Nor do I want to do the homework, tonight. I kept switching back and forth in my decision, because I feel really uncomfortable skipping class, but I decided I'll just go to the Smolny library tomorrow and do work all day. Indeed, that would actually be more productive than going to class, sadly.

I was going to try to apply to be a CA at Goucher, but then I realised that I can't 'attend the winter retreat' from January 23rd to 24th. Of course, they might not even have let me apply since I'm abroad and they seem to want a lot of person-to-person contact with the applicants beforehand. Which is unfortunate. The idea of lording over other students and having the ability to get angry with jackasses who are too loud was appealing for about two seconds. Alas.

As for language things, I feel like I could speak Russian better two weeks ago than I can right now... I don't know, maybe I've just been completely out of it all week. I'm not sure what's happening, but it's mildly distressing. On top of that, I really feel like I'm missing a LOT of basic vocabulary and basic constructions, or, I KIND of know them, but can't use them, or don't understand them enough and try to use them anyway but completely fail.

I've also been feeling a little homesick, recently. Not really in that I DON'T want to be here, so much as I DO want to be HOME. As in, I'm ready to leave now. I'm not really in a bad mood -- I'm excited to go out and do things. I'm just MORE excited that I get to go home soon enough. ... Soon eenough being like.. a little less than two months. BUT apparently RSL ends in like five weeks. Which means only five more of each class. Thank god. I realised that I get like half a month of free time to wander around St. Petersburg and such, which is fantastic. I plan on visiting Finland and the Baltic states during that period. Which is exciting, because that will be my first foray into the EUROPEAN UNION! Apparently, Helsinki is really interesting because it has very similar architecture to St. Petersburg, since, you know, Finland was a part of the Russian Empire during that time, but everything else is just entirely different. What kind of makes me uncomfortable, though, is that I will have to speak English with everyone, which makes me feel like a stupid American for the most part. I mean, I COULD speak Russian with them, but apparently they don't like it very much. For understandable reasons. We'll see. It'll be an interesting experience.

In Which a Paper is Written

2008-11-12T00:58:00.003-08:00

11.11.2008

I think I somehow dodged the illness that was developing by overdosing on vitamin C. Or something. My developing phlegm and sore throat from yesterday has completely disappeared. But, instead, I feel completely exhausted and fuzzy-headed for no reason.It's been like that all day.

Both classes were pretty awful as I kept zoning out and making a fool of myself when called on to answer something. In Razgovornaia, we had to translate things from Russian to English, which iss the first time we've had an exercise like this, and when I did my part, the professor said, "Eric... I think this is the first time I've heard you speak English. And, you speak in a higher tone in Russian... I think that might be a problem from having all female teachers. You might want to try to talk deeper in Russian." Which is strange, because I thought I spoke deeper in Russian. Or something. I don't know. APPARENTLY NOT.

Other than that I have no updates for today. Except, the kassa at the metro today got really pissed off when I handed her 502 rubles for 6 tokens (6 tokens cost 102 rubles, so I was TRYING to be nice and save her the extra change-counting with that extra two rubles). Apparently she didn't like having to count out four 100-ruble notes? I don't know. Absurdity.

Not looking forward to dinner tonight.

Have to write my paper tonight. Actually I should've already started that but I'm procrastinating.Where the hell did my time management go? There was once a time when I would have a paper like this finished days in advance so I could just go over it. Granted, it was assigned last wednesday, so I've had little time, but still. I don't know.

Also, I've noticed that the men here, like the women, wear really cool boots. Some of them, anyway. So now I want to find a fashionable pair of man-boots. Maybe it's a winter thing? I need to successfully go shopping sometime soon. AND SPEND MONEY. BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY WHAT I NEED TO DO. PUMP MONEY INTO THE RUSSIAN ECONOMY. GOOD IDEA, ERIC.

Alright, I need to go do work.

Post-Paper Writing:

Alright, so, that was just plain awful. I somehow actually managed to pump out five pages (1.5 spacing... wait, holy shit, I just wrote a six page paper in one day?). I hope they weren't supposed to be GOOD. When we were originally warned of his mid-term, I didn't think much of it... Five page paper in a week? No problem. But I didn't take into account research... and formulation... And the fact that I have other crap I need to do, too. So basically that was three days of SEARCHING for research, three days of ANALYSING AND NOTATING said research, and a day of actually writing the paper. Good christ. I'm glad I didn't have MUCH ELSE that I needed to do, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to finish it.

BED TIME,.

In Which I am Useless

2008-11-12T00:58:00.001-08:00

10.11.2008

So, today was basically just all around no good, and terribly unproductive. First off, both my classes didn't go well, which is disappointing because usually I enjoy myself in both of them. They still haven't turned on the heat in Bobrinskij, and it's colder in that fucking building than it is outside. So, I was sitting in the library trying to work, and gave up because I just couldn't concentrate, and after that I had to go to my class, in the COLDEST ROOM IN THE BUILDING, and I didn't understand anything there, nor could I respond to anything. Then he gave me my paper topic, which is just too dumb to even write out here. I'm going to try and get that changed, actually.

And in the middle of all this I realised that my OTHER paper is due on Wednesday. I've finished all the research and I have a vague idea of what I want to write... Granted, it's very short -- 5-7 pages. But that's 1.5 spaced, and not double spaced, so I'm not really sure how huge of a change that will be. Of course, I'm sitting here writing for personal reasons instead of doing my homework, in the first place (and on top of the paper I have to get coursework done for tomorrow). I mean, it's really not that MUCH, but I'm feeling awful rright now so I may as well blame it on something.

I think I need to go on a detox from Tatyana's food. I mean, usually it's not that bad, and sometimes it's great... But recently, it's been almost intolerable. Strangely, though, none of it has CHANGED -- it's the same stuff she's always given me, so maybe it's my own personal problem. Well, EXCEPT for this TERRIBLE soup she gave me yesterday, which was less "soup" and more "a couple sliced potatoes thrown in to cooking grease." I could barely choke it down, and then follow it with dry penne, an unidentifiable slab of breaded meat, and cheesey chicken. Which I actually didn't finish. For desert I had a slice of them that, I think, had begun fermenting.

Also, I think I'm getting sick. Which is really the last thing I need right now. I'm sure I'll be subject to countless home remedies if I do become ill...

I've noticed that the cultural notion that women always go first is quite strong here. On the elevator, this morning, I was standing closest to the door, as I had been the last to get on the elevator, so when we reached the ground floor, I figured I would... you know... walk out of the elevator first. since I was by the door. Well, as I was moving to do so, this woman shoved me out of the way to get out of the elevator first. Not in any particular HASTE, you see... Just to get out before me. This has happened several times.

Alright, I have to take another moment to complain about Bobrinskij. Not only does it not have heat, but EVERY TIME I am in that building, the electricity goes out at least once. AND I'M THERE THREE TIMES A WEEK. Today, the electricity went out FOUR TIMES. And for some reason, every time the electricity goes out, the surge protectors on all the computers start periodically screeching. It's actually kind of terrifying, since I have class there so late -- So, the electricity goes out, I'm standing in a dark hallway, all I can see is a lit-up green sign that says "ВЫХОД" (exit) somewhere in the distance, and all I can hear is this random SCREECHING coming from all the rooms.

And that's really all I have for today.

In Which the Metro is the Place to Be

2008-11-10T04:31:00.000-08:00

08.11.2008

So, I was sitting in the kitchen yesterday, contentedly eating my breakfast blins, with the TV in the background. I was sort of half-watching the TV, which was playing this awful show in which a poor woman marched up and down a runway in front of a live audience and a panel of judges who proceeded to tear her apart. Suddenly, I hear a rather strange construction... "очень неплохо" (ochen' neplokho - very not bad). At first, I didn't really think anything strange had happened. Then ... I started thinking about the phrase in English. Very not bad? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I guess a better translation would be "not bad at all!" or something.

Odd metro moments this weekend: When I was going to Central Station on Saturday: As I was waiting for the metro, this woman about my age comes up, and she's dressed mildly "gothy," I suppose, and seems terribly bad-tempered. Well, we get on the same car, and sit across from eachother, and she kept staring at me. Of course, I NOTICED she was staring at me, so I looked at her, and she immediately averted her eyes and started giggling to herself. I was like "wtf?" and this happened at least five times. She was pretending to read a book, but she kept looking up at me. When the train got to Gostinyj Dvor, I was terrified that she was going to follow me off the car and ask for my number, or something, so I kind of RAN off the train onto the platform. She didn't follow.

On the way back from Central Station, Sunday morning: We came to a stop, and when the doors open, three drunk Russian guys came in. In UNISON, they sat down on a seat, and they all leaned over in the same direction on each others' shoulders and went to sleep. It was amusing. I wish I had my camera with me.

On the way back from Pikovaya Dama, Sunday night: Maneka and I got on a metro, and at the end of the car (another) drunk Russian guy was rolling around military-style, carrying a nerf gun... When the doors opened he was like peeking out and twirling his gun around, and then the doors closed and he was like “DOORS CLOSED! WE'RE SAFE!” and resumed rolling around the wagon. His friend just sat on a seat playing a guitar and singing.

I've realised that I'm turning in to one of those people I hate so damned much -- CLUB BUNNIES!! Well, maybe not. I'm just going to clubs almost every week... Of course, I'm not really drinking (because it's too expensive) and I don't really have many FRIENDS in said club (more on that in a second). Basically, I just go to dance ... To absolutely horrible music. Which I have come to tolerate, probably through overexposure. I do have to say that I absolutely LOVE the feeling of coming home at 6am, absolutely exhausted from a night of dancing, and going to bed. No joke.

The night was a hell of a lot better than last time, even though I didn't meet anyone. From what I can gather, Fridays are themed "Very Few People" and "Straight Guys Come to Prey on Women and Mock the Gays," while Saturdays have ... more people. I've identified several types of people who go to Central Station:

-Women who want to escape crass men in other clubs
-The straight guys who hear of this refuge and come to prey on said women
-The boyfriends of some of these women
-Massive amounts of stunningly attractive guys with boyfriends who are equally stunningly attractive
-Me
-Random guys who seem to go by themselves week after week, alone (actually, I fit in this category)
-The creepy older men who prey on the random guys, and all of the random guys, excepting myself, seem to enjoy it.

When I first got there I saw this guy who looked EXACTLY like my Human Rights teacher, even in how he was dressed. I started to hide, then I realised it WASN'T him. That was mildly amusing. Then I saw this other guy who had been there last time I went, only, this time, he was dressed a bit better (last time he was wearing a ... tuxedo? I actually thought he was a waiter for the restaurant downstairs, but actually I think he just decided to wear a tuxedo to a club). Well, at least, I THOUGHT he was dressed better, because I thought he had his jeans tucked into neat boots ... but then I looked closer and saw that he was wearing dress shoes with his jeans rolled up, and black argyle socks. (Oh, and he has a massive mullet) OH RUSSIA. Actually, most of the guys with whom I wanted to dance (but didn't, because I'm TERRIFIED OF TALKING TO PEOPLE) had mullets. I'm going to kind of miss the mullets, after I leave. Really, I've gotten to the point where I like them. ... That's kind of sick.

In any case, while on the second dancefloor, I saw someone wearing an ... orange and white trucker's hat? I actually haven't seen one of those since I got in the country -- Baseball caps aren't very popular, here. I looked closer and realised that it was SASHA! He didn't see me, so I spent the better part of two hours thereafter avoiding him. He eventually recognised me while I was dancing, but I made a point to not look in his direction. I retreated downstairs to hide amongst the throng of the people, but after getting tired of that I went back upstairs, thinking it was safe. BUT I WAS WRONG. He intercepted me at the top of the stairs and was like "DO YOU REMEMBER ME?! I CALLED YOU BUT IT DIDN'T WORK." I was like "Yeeeah I recognise you ... maybe the number wasn't right..?" I didn't actually give him a wrong number, but whatever. I pulled out my phone because he wanted my number again, and he just GRABBED it from me and called himself. I guess so I couldn't fool him AGAIN! Then he told me he'd call me and left...? It was kind of strange. Maybe he just wants sex. NOTHX. Maybe if he spoke clearly, were a tad more attractive, didn't dress like an idiot and HAD A MULLET I'd THINK about it. But probably not. He doesn't exactly seem interested in talking, so, whatever.

One thing I noticed was several people wearing sunglasses. In a poorly lit club. I don't think they were wearing them because they were drug users, though. I think they just thought they were cool, or something. One of them was dancing right in the middle of the dance floor, doing all these moves that I'm sure he thought was PRETTY FANCY. I nicknamed him "The King of the Club." He ran into a trashcan later in the night. After that it seemed he started to walk through the club WITHOUT his glasses on (he should have kept them on, though -- he seemed more attractive than with them off). The second was some guy who was alone almost the entire night, and also didn't wear sunglasses unless he was ... alone, dancing in a corner. What a strange fucking country.

The last takes the cake, though. Towards the end of the night there was this massively attractive guy wearing white pants and a button-up shirrt, and, of course, sunglasses. Well, he comes up and starts dancing with a group of four girls, and unbuttons his shirt, then starts lewdly grinding with them. That was mildly disappointing. But ... after that ... He walks off, the girls disperse... he starts dancing again, and this ... MASSIVELY MASSIVELY creeper guy comes up behind him and they start dancing. And making out. That was just horribly horribly revolting. But I guess since the guy was wearing sunglasses he couldn't see anything anyway. And on top of that he was probably drunk.

Oh, and, next week, they're having a ... Black Party? I guess that's supposed to be like the White Party in the U.S., or something. Club theme nights always tend to be ambiguous, though. I'm just going to assume it means there's going to be a lot of black.

Alright, I just spent FAR, FAR too much time talking about Central Station.

Sunday night I went to see Pikovaya Dama/Queen of Spades (opera) at the Mikhailovskij. It was actually fairly awful. All the male roles were just terrible, especially the main one. The lead singer was off key most of the time and his voice was just terribly unpleasant to listen to. The women were pretty awesome, though.

Friday and most of Saturday I worked on my Russia/U.S.A. Mid-term, which I'm doing on the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. But I'm not going to talk about that because this entry is getting absurdly long.

In Which Politics are Discussed

2008-11-07T03:19:00.001-08:00

06.11.2008

I feel kind of sick and sad. For many reasons, I'm sure, I don't know. This morning I was in a fine mood -- Only two days of classes, this week, not too much work ... I don't know. Several things changed that mood. School things, the fact that I had two classes I just absolutely hate, and really NOT wanting to learn the language. Then, learning that Proposition 8 passed in California... That just kind of made me sick. Yeah, it passed in a lot of other states, too, and was passed in Kentucky like four years ago, but CALIFORNIA? What the fuck? Who the hell in California DOESN'T have a gay friend? Well, actually, that might be the problem.. I'm just kind of sick right now.

What makes me most angry is not the fact that the proposition itself passed. As far as that goes, that's democracy – Yeah, the system is fucked up, but it's better than most. The minority gets screwed over every now and then. However, the massive amount of PROPAGANDA that was spread against gay marriage just was absolutely terrifying. And of course that was entirely centred around money. Generally, such propositions only receive such media attention when people PAY for that media attention, and those interest groups generally have a lot at stake in said propositions. ... But, who had anything at stake in Proposition 8? Well, those of the same sex who wish to marry or are already married. And that's just about it. So you'd think that most of the money would be flowing in the direction AGAINST proposition 8, yeah? So who the HELL spent SO MUCH MONEY on getting proposition 8 passed? I HONESTLY CANNOT think of a SINGLE interest group who has ANYTHING AT STAKE if gay marriage exists. The church, I guess? But they don't ACTUALLY have anything at stake, and American churches aren't on the scale of companies and other NGOs, in terms of finances. So my only conclusion is that a bunch of crazy ass moralistic rich people emptied their bank accounts to spread lies and propaganda. And THAT is NOT democracy.

In any case, does anyone know if it's possible to change the consitution AGAIN? I don't think that this amendment can be abolished that easily, especially since this has all gone full circle through the state government. I think the only thing that can change it at this point is a federal legalisation of same-sex marriage. Which isn't going to happen any time soon, I don't think.

Well, Tatyana is at least happy over Obama's victory. She was terrified of McCain -- kept going on about how old he was, and how old politicians just need to give up. Probably a phobia developed from living under Brezhnev, Andropov, and that third Soviet leader who only lasted a couple months before he died. I always forget his name. Speaking of Russian leaders, Medvedev' made a speech here a couple days ago... And after reading it, I am quite terrified. I mean, rhetorically, it is completely and totally democratic. But the implications are quite the opposite. He talked about changing the Russian constitution so that the presidential term in the Russian Federation is extended to six years. He said this is in reaction to the financial crisis, in order to create more stability in the country -- And then said that France did the same after World War II, and it worked. The thing is, he is working entirely under the rule of law, which is completely democratic... but... I don't know. One interesting thing is, though, that he is asserting himself as president. I've thought for a while, but now I'm fairly convinced, that Medvedev' is not just a Putin puppet. He is a powerful political figure, and a COMPLEMENT to Putin. The double headed eagle of Russia, I think, is a bit more than symbolic at this point.

Political scientists and human rights activists in Russia are afraid of what the near future holds. The 90's, while full of economic turmoil, was one of the most politically free periods in Russian history -- right next to the 20's, which were also filled with economic turmoil right after the Bolshevik takeover. Then, right after the Bolshevik takeover, the government (AKA Stalin, and even Lenin before him) clamped down on everything once they regained stability. Well, Putin (what the hell is with all the "ins"? Hell, Lenin and Stalin weren't even their real names, but Putin IS his real name.. hmm) has regained stability in Russia, and freedoms have been lost. Which is terribly backwards, in both cases, really, since the usual development of things is a dictatorship during periods of total unstability and a relaxation of restrictions during periods of calm. But Russia's strange. Of course, I wouldn't call the current administration a dictatorship by any means -- just a mild authoritarian regime. In any case, any time the U.S. criticises Russia of human rights abuses, the human rights situation here actually becomes more DIFFICULT. (Kate, just out of curiosity, is this the same case with China?) In any case, I have no idea what will happen in the next few years. And neither does anyone else. I've had this discussion with Professor Vertkin, Andrei Vladimirovich, and Darya Bolotovna, or at least heard them speak of it, and NO ONE has any predictions for the future, which is especially strange since they're all political scientists, and usually political scientists have a prediction for everything, no matter how unfounded it might BE. The only things I've garnered are that Communism is gone forever, nationalism is on the rise for no particular reason, and the government is up to something.

On a more local level, I have to say that I feel more secure, here, when there are old women around. And less secure when there are police around. Here's why: Police extort people, and can basically do whatever they want. I've been lucky enough to not have been harassed, yet (Probably because I apparently look Russian). But I still get unnerved whenever I pass a policeman. But when I'm around old women? I feel PERFECTLY safe. Mostly because I feel like no one's going to whack someone when an old woman's around. Even the hooligans seem to respect the crazy old ladies.

In Which Moscow is Visited

2008-11-06T04:17:00.001-08:00

05.11.2008

Alright, this is going to be one long ass entry, so I'll try to make it as exciting as I can.

Saturday I basically just stayed in, except I went out and bought chocolate for Tatyana since her birthday was on the 4th. Came back and got ready for Moscow...

First ride on a train. Spent the night in a compartment with Bryan, Ilana, and Elizabeth. That was terribly exciting. It was actually a really nice business car. Just a tad cramped, as expected. Unfortunately, I got NO sleep, so when we got to Moscow I was exhausted. At like 6 am ... music started to play over the intercom. Some Soviet ballad. Ilana woke up and said "... Is this a joke?" It was quite fantastic.

Basically we spent the entire day wandering around Moscow on walking tours with the BEST tour guide of all time. He was probably in his 50's and had the best Russian smoker's voice of all time. And he was pretty lewd. We were at a church, and he was talking about the architecture... He was going on about how most say that Russian church architecture was heavily influenced by Mosques, THEN he started talking about how the roots of Russian architecture was in PAGAN PHALLIC CULTURE. And started talking about how the spires and domes of the church resembled a PHALLUS. I DIED LAUGHING. NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTOOD WHY?! I was IN LOVE with this man at this point. He mentioned pagan phallic culture at several other points in the tour, too.

Unfortunately, halfway through the day I got a sinus headache WHICH IS STILL PLAUGING ME AND MAKING ME MISERABLE. I overdosed on Tylenol. Literally.

Also, TWO different restaurants said they didn't have enough tea cups for our group (?!) so apparently they don't drink tea in Moscow, since these fucking restaurants were HUGE. What the hell? In any case, I saw St. Basil's Cathedral and Lenin's Tomb. That was exciting. Though, Lenin's tomb was more like a haunted house than I thought it would be. What I find mildly amusing is that the GUM, which is Russia's largest and most prestigious shopping mall is RIGHT ACROSS Red Square from Lenin's Tomb. LUCKILY, NO ONE CAN SAY HE'D BE ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE. BECAUSE HE'S IN A PERMANENT WAKE. HAHAHAHA! Bastard communists.

My overall impressions of Moscow by the end of the day:
-I was shocked into more appreciation for Petersburg: Moscow is dirtier, more crowded, more SUFFOCATING, and just overall more nerve-wracking than Petersburg
-People are more rude, less attractive, and less well dressed
-Even the stray dogs are rude. I have never been barked at by a stray dog in Petersburg -- Indeed, they are all QUITE SWEET. But while walking down the street in Moscow, a stray dog came out of NO WHERE and started violently barking at me and followed me for like 30 feet. I thought it was going to attack me, but luckily it didn't.
-The metro works on a rather rude principle. See, Petersburg works on a turnstile system -- You insert a token/swipe your card, and you are allowed to pass through the turnstile. Moscow... works on a system of PAIN. You try to walk through, and your legs are CRUSHED by two panels that come out of NO WHERE if you don't swipe your card. I avoided this fate, luckily.
-Something I found interesting, and Emma and I both agree: Many people say St. Petersburg is a very 'European' and "Western' city, while Moscow is more 'Russian.' I am not going to claim to be acquainted with the Soul of Russia!, but I felt Moscow to be more of a modern Western city. By far. If anything, the way Moscow is ORGANISED is European: It's centred around a square. St. Petersburg is centred around a single street. Most European cities are centred around a square. And that very detail determines the organisation of the city, I feel. There were also a hell of a lot more tourists in Moscow, and more foreigners in general (Then again, I was just there on tours and such, so that might be why I thought that)

Basically, by the end of the day, if I could have hopped on a train and go back to Petersburg I would've been happy to do so. But, I'm glad I didn't.

Oh, and, we stayed in a hostel instead of a hotel. I was with Ilana, Emma, E.B. and Vika (the Russian tutor). Blah blah

Next day we took a ttour of the Kremlin. Which was ... much shorter and more boring than I thought it would be? Then we were supposed to take another walking tour along the Arbat and other streets, but we couldn't find our tour guide so we just kind of wandered around. On the Metro, Bryan found a sticker that was making fun of the "День Народного Единства," which was the Russian holiday on the 4th (Day of the People's Oneness... or something... like that). It says, “Мы идем на русский марш, наци - это т-а-а-ак сексуально!" (We’re going to the Russian march, because nation [nationalism] is SOOOOO sexy!) and has a bunch of rainbow colored men wearing bondage harnesses. Basically, the gays of Moscow made a bunch of anti-Nationalist posters and put them all over the metro. I’ll talk more about this later in the entry.

That night we went to a Russian circus, which was right in the heart of the city. I realised I haven’t been to a circus in a hell of a long time. At first I was really apprehensive (USUALLY BECAUSE OF THE MASSIVE ANIMAL ABUSE?!) but this was actually prretty damned awesome. The only part that bothered me was one act where they had bears doing tricks, and ... yeah. But, the first part was a bunch of really hot guys doing neat horse tricks. Then they had a bunch of neat acrobatic things. Then a woman with cats (domestic cats) and that was just boring and dumb. I’m not going to bother describing the rest, but, at the end, their last act was a bunch of men wearing white fur and doing gymnastics with a bunch of white furry SPITZES. IT WAS SO AWESOME, AND ADORABLE. (P.S.: Clowns speaking in Russian are FUCKING TERRIFYING).

After that a few of us went to a nearby cafe, “Shokoladnitsa,” where I had hot chocolate and a slice of honey cake. Which was expensive, but well worth it. Normally I don’t drink hot chocolate ... indeed, I didn’t here, either, but someone told me to order it ... and uh ... Russian hot chocolate ... isn’t like ... Cocoa. It’s MELTED CHOCOLATE In a CUP. it was DELICIOUS. mmm.

Next day was free day, for the most part. I still had a massive headache, and Emma felt like crap, so we wanted to do someething low-key. SOooo ... we took a tour of the metro! And went to 28 different stations. Which were, for the most part, BEAUTIFUL. My favorite stations were Belorusskaya, Kievskaya, and Ploshchad’ Revolutsia. The first two wwere just plain beautiful. Ploshchad’ Revolutsia was neeat because each side of the platform wwas lined with arches and gigantic bronze statues, all depicting some aspect of the “Revolution.” On one side it was military, with many different proletariat-looking revolutionaries carrying primitive grenades and guns and such (One even had a pet dog, and apparently it’s a tradition to pet the dog’s snout for good luck, which I did). The other side was a sort of cultural revolution, with statues reading books, playing sports and... holding children. I don’t know. Anyway, it was fantastic. Many of the metro stations were creatively themed like that -- Mendeleevskaya, for instance, had lighting in the shape of different cells, and then artistic charts of CELL DIVISION on the walls. I won’t go into detail on the rest, because there were just too many stations to do that.

Then that night we went to the Tretyakovskaya Gallery, which was a FANTASTIC art gallery of all Russian art. (Ben, Jenn, I bought you both something, here). Then we went home that night and I died in classes, today.

Alright, so, November 4th: The holiday. There were several different marches in both Moscow and Petersburg, apparently. In Moscow there was a “Nashi” march on Red Square, which is Putin’s youth movement. There were also several neo-fascist marches, and BRYAN SAYS there was a gay right’s march at the same time but I don’t believe him. I’m going to have to find a news article or something. But then again, that sticker Bryan found means there is some sort of effort in that area, in Moscow, anyway.

I have a lot more I want to say, but I can’t remember most of it and I’m getting tired of talking about Moscow already.

I have to write a 5-7 page paper by next Wednesday on the prompt, “What, in your opinion, was the most defining moment of the Cold War?” I’m not 100% sure of what I should write about. I think I’m either going to talk about Malinkov asking the West to invite the USSR into NATO, or .. uhm ... the tragedy in either Hungary or Czechoslovakia (I can never remember which one happened first -- I know it happened in both countries, but yeah). I’m not sure if I can rattle on for seven pages about Malinkov, though. I hate talking about NATO, so maybe that’s out. I don’t know. But I’m going to get started on it, tomorrow.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get many photos of Moscow (mostly because it was HIDEOUS) because I didn’t really FEEL like taking photos most of the time, due to my headache.

Oh, right, so Proposition 8 passed in California... That is ... disappointing. to say the least. And elminates basically any relief I had with the 'democratic' victory. ah well

In Which Boredom is Held

2008-10-31T02:20:00.001-07:00

30.10.2008

So, this is my last entry before I go to Moscow -- Next time I'll update is ... Wednesday or Thursday. Not sure. Which is ... exactly a week. Hm..

Sadly, this may be a scant entry. SO YOU'LL ALL HAVE TO SAVOUR EVERY LAST WORD OF THIS ONE BEFORE I DISAPPEAR FOR A WEEK.

I didn't bother updating yesterday because there really wasn't much to say. I've stayed in most all week, reading, watching TV, and studying. Recuperating from dealing with people. Nice and relaxed, really -- I don't regret not doing anything all week. It's what I needed.

Last night I was watching a Russian historical document on the leaders of the Cheka/KGB/etc throughout the Russian history, and it had a lot of video clips, which was neat. At one point they were showing Finnish soldiers during World War I skiing in formation! It was fantastic. I had read about the skiing Finnish soldiers in my contemporary Russian history class a year ago, and couldn't believe it. BUT NOW I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT.

Also, from this video, I have discerned that the Russian military has not changed its uniform for about sixty or seventy years. Since I've been here I've been trying to distinguish the different military and paramilitary divisions, but it's difficult, and now I'm all confused because they've changed into their winter uniforms. Which is to say, they've traded in their saucer caps for USHANKI! So now I see columns of Russian military men (by "men" I mean "16 year old boys"...) marching down the street in long double-breasted black coats and fur hats.

I had planned on going shopping today but I forgot my debit card and didn't have much money, so I'm going to go, tomorrow... If I can't find a suitable jacket and hat for Moscow I guess I'm going to wear my heavy fur coat and my new ushanka. If I do that I'm going to get a lot of photos of me being a stereotypical Russian on Red Square, or something. I don't know.

I'm fairly excited for Moscow. Well, except the weather is supposed to be absolutely miserable, and we're taking a WALKING TOUR OF THE CITY. Which will probably be HELL. I couldn't load the itinerary, so, I'm not entirely sure what'll be going on. We're staying in a HOSTEL, which will be weird... Hmm.. Tatyana's birthday is on Tuesday, I think, and I'll be gone, so I'm going to buy her a gift in Moscow, and I think I'm going to buy her chocolates or something before I leave. II'm also going to try and shop for gifts for other people while in Moscow. And so on.

I've started trying to sort out my schedule for Goucher, next semester, and it's already hell. I left my entire written out plan on what I was going to do to fulfill the rest of my Gen Eds, so I'm kind of lost. I already know that my usual practise of cramming up on classes on MWF and leaving TuTh open and free is ... not going to happen -- All the Russian classes are MW and MWF, and all the Poli. Sci. courses are TuTh. Which I guess is good from the perspective that basically nothing I want to take conflicts, but not good from the fact that everything is SPREAD OUT AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY so my productivity may be at an all-time low.

What I am most terrified about going back to Goucher is the living situation, though, which is apparently more hellish than it's ever been. If I don't get a single I'm going to be mad as hell. I know that sounds terribly bratty, but for God's sakes I've already had to deal with two years of awkward and obnoxious living situations, and on top of that I'm a Junior, so I should have SOME seniority. I'm sure there are a massive amount of UNDESERVING FRESHMEN who have singles in some of the best halls. I've already told Brendan that I'm going to go live in his room if they try to put me in a double. He thought it was a joke. LITTLE DOES HE KNOW. So basically my living situation depends on how many people DROP OUT this semester and how many go abroad next semester. We'll see what happens. I need to shoot an e-mail over to Community Living to make sure everything is at least in order, document-wise...

I really should get to bed, since I'm waking up earlier than I need to in order to receive vocabulary tutoring, tomorrow morning. I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping, lately, though, and I'm not sure why that is. maybe all the TEA I'm drinking. the MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TEA. Despite this, I'm in a good mood. Good mood, indeed. My shopping trip tomorrow might elevate or depress that. We shall see.

In Which Ukraine is Discussed... But not really.

2008-10-29T02:31:00.001-07:00

28.10.2008

Another fairly unexciting day. Phonetics (which, for some reason I keep spelling as "fonetics") was particularly painful because we had a substitute (again) today, and I don't like her. Mostly because she's tremendously awkward, and not in a good way. I feel more comfortable with the other teacher, who apparently is returning next week. After that I had my Razgovornaya exam, which was much easier than I thought it would be. After we finished she made us sit as she went through and marked our mistakes on the paper... then she turned it back to us to give us a second chance to correct it. Which was strange. But, I had few mistakes, and most of the mistakes I made I knew how to remedy. So, whoo.

After that I went to Bobrinskij palace in order to discuss my presentation topic with Professor Vertkin. After a lengthy discussion, I think I'm going to do my presentation on the position of Ukraine in the relations between Russia and the U.S. It's really bizarre because basically all of my research is going to have to be on the internet, and I haven't used GOOGLE for god's sakes to research something for an ACADEMIC PAPER since I entered college. But, we simply don't have the resources for anything else. So, there's that..

I stopped by the bookstore to try and find pens and pencil lead... I failed. For some reason writing utensils are absurdly difficult to come by in this country. I'm down to three sticks of lead in my pencil, and a blue pen. I think I'm going to start saving my pencil for exams and such.. so the rest of my notes and my homework is going to be in BLOO. exciting.

That was basically MY day... hm...

Oh, alright, so. There's this guy who's started waving to me when he sees me. But, uh, I don't really know him. I mean, I saw him at a lecture on the U.S. elections. That's been the full extent of our ... interaction. Which is to say, none. So perhaps I shall introduce myself to him next time I see him. So that I may make friends. Or something.

Well, luckily, I have very little homework tonight, so I'm going to read a bit then... I don't know. I''m so tired, but when I try to go to sleep I can't. Maybe it's just pure exhaustion. But it's not like I'm DOING much., right now. Maybe it's the tea dependence, or something. Hell if I know.

Oh, so, while I was talking with Professor Vertkin today he said that the Philological Faculty bookstore is actually one of the better bookstores in the city, and if I want to find anything halfway interesting I should go there instead of Dom Knigi. So, I'm going to do that, sometime... soon... maybe. before the weather gets so godawful that I'd rather stay inside all the time. Speaking of shopping, I think I need to go out and buy a hat and a jacket before going to Moscow. Yes, one would think I should wait and maybe try to buy said things in Moscow, but... Apparently it might SNOW while we're there. So I need to be prepared. I don't really want to take my gigantic fur coat, because I can't MOVE while wearing it, and I don't want to take my ushanka because I kind of feel like a jackass wearing it. Of course, it's not like it even gets cold enough in the U.S. (Or, at least, in Maryland/California) that I would need to wear it there. Plus, someone at Goucher might try to douse me with paint, since it's made of FOX FUR (I think). But at the same time I have had a hard time trying to find a hat that looks halfway decent, here. Everyone wears those knitted caps, which (in my opinion) look like hell on ANYONE and EVERYONE. So I'd like to avoid getting one of those. We'll see what happens.

I've run out of junk to say. So... yep

In Which ... I don't know, I'm tired

2008-10-28T02:46:00.001-07:00

27.10.2008

Today wasn't particularly exciting, as most Mondays aren't. I had my mid-term exam for my grammar course, which seemed fairly easy, so I hope I did well on that. I have my mid-term for my speaking practice class tomorrow (which, ironically, has no speaking section!)

Aaand I spoke with Andrei Vladimirovich (my Human Rights teacher) about my mid-term for THAT class.. I didn't entirely understand THAT discussion. I understand that he wants me to write an 8000 character paper (which I think is about five pages) about ... something. He said we would 'think about it' and he'd give me a topic shortly. I think he wants me to do something connecting a Human Rights issue in America with one in the U.S., or contrasting them or something. Or maybe he wanted me to do that for my FINAL paper? I don't know, he was jumping around a bit. Does anyone know of any major human rights issues in America about which I could write? I could think of a few, but the thing is, it's not a 'huge thing' in IR to criticise the U.S. for human rights abuses or anything... Despite what a stroll through Baltimore could reveal.

Oh, another amusing thing -- A guy joined our class, today ... ? It's, what, eight weeks into the semester, and someone joins the class? What the hell is up with that? I couldn't really understand anything he was saying throughout class because the acoustics in that room are terrible and he was speaking quietly. I hope that doesn't continue. He seems like an average Russian guy, which is to say, a terrible person. But, here I am, judging people again. But then again, it's fairly rare that I meet a guy my age who ISN'T a terrible person, so that doesn't extend just to Russia.

BUT THAT DOESN'T NEGATE THE FACT THAT HE JOINED THE CLASS EIGHT WEEKS IN. And the first question he asked Andrei Vladimirovich was how old he was. Andrei responded,

How old do you THINK I am?
New guy (whose name I don't know): Hmm.. 20.
Andrei: *sigh, rolling of the eyes* 25.

I feel sorry for him -- it's clear that no one takes him seriously, but he seems much more ... together, stable, and enthuastic than most of the other professors. Ah well. Oh, right, and, amusingly, I didn't understand half the lecture, which I told him after class, and I told him I'd just read up on the conflict he was talking aabout and he was like, "Oh, no, don't bother, it's fine!" Which I find mildly strange. Of course, he's done that a few times -- if I didn't finish a reading he tells me I don't need to do any more, and so on... If I were in America, I'd be EXPECTED to go that extra mile. Maybe he's just thankful that I come to every class (Anya didn't come, today) and that I have been in the class since the beginning...?

So, going to Romeo and Juliet on Friday, then leaving for Moscow on Saturday night and not coming back until Tuesday morning. Oh, and this is the Russian idea of a holiday: Monday is a holiday, right? So, we have no classes on Monday. You'd think, "whoo, three day weekend!", right? Wrong. We have our Monday classes the previous SATUDAY instead. Yep. Which is why we're leaving for Moscow on Saturday NIGHT. Good job, Russia. (Actually, that's probably a Soviet holdover, like everything else in this damned country that doesn't make any sense)

The course list for next semester will be available in a couple of days, which is mildly terrifying, because it's the THIRD TO LAST TIME I WILL BE MAKING COURSE SELECTIONS FOR UNDERGRADUATE STUDY!! AAAAAH. I was actually confused earlier today and thought it was already up, so I was looking at the fall '08 course selection, which was really sad and uninteresting. But when I realised that it WASN'T the spring '08 course selection, I was happy that I missed such a shitty semester in the first place. In any case, I looked over all the gen. ed. requirements, and it seems to me that I only have a couple more to fulfill? I don't know, it doesn't seem right to me because I thought that I still needed to take four more gen. ed. classes. Who knows.

I'm sure that little blurb was interesting to read... right. At this point I'm just blathering on because I don't want to do my homework. But, I better get to it...

In Which Two Dinners and Desert are Eaten

2008-10-27T02:39:00.001-07:00

24.10.2008 - Weekend Entry

The cat won't leave me alone. She kept meowing at my door while I was changing, then ZOOMED into the room when I finally opened it. Now she's lying in my lap purring and won't go away. Oh well.

I went to Nevsky on Friday to walk down the street and take a video, very INCONSPICUOUSLY, but it kind of failed. Apparently I didn't hold the camera steady enough while I was walking, so it's kind of dizzying, but I guess I'll keep it anyway. I had planned on going to Sennaya Ploshchad' and shopping for clothes, but instead I just ended up going to Dom Knigi (huge bookstore on Nevsky). Originally, I was just going to walk around the bookstore to see what they had, then leave. But, instead, I bought a new dictionary and a collection of short stories by Tatyana Tolstaya (Tolstoi's great granddaughter or something like that) - Ночь (Noch' - Night). I figured I'd get something to read for recreation in Russian to build vocabulary, since all the texts I read have to do with International Relations, and that kind of limits my vocabulary acquisition. I don't really want to go around sounding like a politician, personally.

In any case, I decided to just come home and do work, since I was in the mood for reading Russian things and such, as a contrast to my earlier feelings... I figure I may as well exploit the change in mood.

Then I went to Central Station in the evening, and it was ... Disappointing, to say the least. I'm not really going to get in to it, but, yeah. Strangely, very very few people were there. Not sure why that was. In any case, I would have like five dates now if I were into creepy older men who fail even harder when they try to speak English than when I speak Russian. The first one kept trying to buy me drinks, and he kept putting his arm around me. At least he got the picture when I forcefully shoved the offending appendage away.

Oh, and, while wandering around on the 3rd floor I came across something interesting. It was tremendously dark around the side staircase, and normally, I just feel my way through the corridor but I almost tripped and DIED so I decided to use my cell phone to light the way. Well, when I did that, I noticed two side corriders wiith a bunch of little plastic signs on the wall next to them. Intrigued, I shined my cell phone on them, and they were all signs of icons with red lines through them (like “No Smoking”); one was a martini glass, another a cigarette, a camera, and a cell phone. Next to these were signs of icons without a red line through them – one I couldn't identify that looked like a tea pot, and the other a ... condom? Apparently Andrei wasn't kidding when he said the “dark rooms” were on the third floor. Anyway, I walked by, but my cell phone light was still on so it shined into one of the corridors, and I saw someone in there. For some reason that freaked me out and I ran off.

And one more amusing anecdote. There were these two straight guys there, with the clear purpose of preying on the girls who come to the club to ESCAPE people like them. Well, they started dancing with these two girls on the second floor dancefloor, and after the song ended one of the girls walked out to find one of her friends or something, and the straight guy she was dancing with followed her out. Her and her friend converged in the other room and she turned around – at this point, she saw the guy, and I guess realised he was straight and not gay. He was in her way, so she just kind of shoved him out of her way, when he was clearly trying to make conversation or something. I lawl'd. Because those guys were jackasses, basically.

Aaand all Saturday I basically just lied around inside. But I don't regret it. I got a lot of vocabulary study done, and I really just had zero desire to go out, today. Tatyana went to the museum and shopping, so I was basically alone all day, and it was nice. I also got a lot of reading done. Unfortunately, I didn't really do any homework. BUT! I went through all the words I have been writing down, and checked off all the ones I've already memorised through useage and glancing over them every now and then, and I've memorised about five pages of ten. Which isn't terrible, I guess. But I think I've only really half memorised them – in that I can recognise them when I see them in writing and when I hear them, but I can't recall them. But, oh well.

The good news is that I think I have a good grasp of all case adjectival and noun endings. Knowing them is one thing – I've known them all for over a year now. But, having them memorised and being able to recall them in speech is entirely another. I bet this sounds terribly exciting, doesn't it?

ACTUALLY. I have a complaint I would like to submit. Alright:

To turn off – выключать / выключить (vykluchat' / vykluchit')
To turn on – включать / включить (vkluchat' / vkluchit')

What, the fuck? I actually just got this sorted out – I used to just get completely confused and think it was one word, and that I just didn't know its antonym. But now I know I am not just going insane, because I would always look them up and not understand why I didn't get them. I mean, the prefixes в- and вы- are opposite, so that's fairly regular through the verbal system, but usually it's easy to tell which useage it is through context. NOT IN THIS CASE. It sounds almost the same in speech. And it's annoying. (P.s.: вход, vkhod – entrance; выход, vykhod – exit. Yep.)

Sunday also sat around doing a little work. Got more actual homework finished, and studied for a test. In the evening, I went to dinner – but before that, I told Tatyana that I was going to dinner, and she didn't need to worry about fixing dinner for me... To which she asked,

Tatyana: When are you leaving?
Me: Around six.
Tatyana: Well, you can eat around four, then.
Me: ... (silence, not sure what to say)
Tatyana: Didn't understand?
Me: Uhm, I understood, but, why would I eat before, if I'm going to eat at a restaurant?
Tatyana: So that you don't need to eat much at the restaurant! It's expensive!
Me: I think it's free...
Tatyana: Ooooh, well then... But you THINK! You don't KNOW!
Me: .... (silence.)

I figured she was just joking, but around four she called me in to eat dinner, much to my chagrin. So, dinner at the cafe wasn't that great, because I was already full. DESPITE THIS, desert was DELICIOUS.

In Which a Movie is Watched

2008-10-23T02:12:00.001-07:00

21.10.2008

Alright, so, before I write about anything else... I just watched the movie "Mongol," which I was anticipating for a while because I even saw it advertised in the U.S. And, I'm PRETTY sure it's a Russian film... I'm going to check IMDB tomorrow... but, I was a bit surprised when it was in a language other than Russian (I'm going to assume Mongolian, or whatever language it is that they speak in Mongolia -- excuse my ignorance), DUBBED OVER in Russian. Like, maybe that just doesn't make sense to ME... but... I don't know. I know there has been a trend in American films to film the movie in the original language of the setting or whatever (if that makes sense) and then subtitle it ... but what the fuck? You could HEAR the Mongolian language under the dubber, who, as I've noted before, is ONE voice actor doing ALL the dubbing for the entire movie -- female characters, male characters, narrator. Without any emotion. But in any case, luckily I could understand him, but the dialogue wasn't exactly that profound. Indeed, I was overall disappointed by the movie, but ah well.

And unfortunately I had to change the regional settings on my laptop to even PLAY the movie, WHICH I CAN ONLY DO FIVE TIMES!!! So I guess I'll keep my laptop at region 5 for my stay here, and try to only buy DVDs that have no regional setting. Which shouldn't be difficult since most are pirated anyhow.

Oh, I think I've mentioned this before, but the stray dogs here are SO ADORABLE. I would totally take them all in if I could. There are usually a lot laying around outside the metro when I come home from the university, and a lot of the time I'll see two of them playing out in front of one of the stores -- Well, like, one is lying down trying to sleep, and another is pawing and nipping at the one lying down, trying to get him to play. From afar it kind of looks like they're mauling eachother, but when you get close it's obvious they're just playing. IT'S SO CUTE. I want to feed them, but then I'll have a pack of stray dogs following me home. So I'll leave the feeding to the old ladies.

I spent another absurdly long day at Smolny, so I don't really have anything exciting to impart. I took two exams this week, two classes were cancelled... blah blah... I finally feel like I'm really improving in my language, but at the same time I feel as though my RSL classes aren't contributing to that in the least. DEFINITELY not in dialogue. Maybe a TAD bit in grammar. But that's about it. Indeed, that's my only real complaint about the program -- I sorely dislike the RSL program itself. Ah well.

Yura called me today to discuss going to the ballet. I told him I was going to buy the tickets, and he didn't need to worry about it, etc, and we got into an argument about that. Thankfully, I could understand most everything he was saying, but I got flustered because he started to tell me HE was going to buy the tickets because I don't have money or something (I don't know where he got that idea), and I just started speaking really fast... and by "speaking" I mean I spewed out a string of Russian words that were neither declined nor conjugated, so I can't imagine what it would've sounded like to him. Probably entirely incompehensible. In any case, it's still unresolved, but I'm buying tickets tomorrrow, regardless. He said he's going to send me a message or something. We'll see what happens.

Tatyana said that I needed to get warmer pants for the winter... I'm not sure what that means ... ? What exactly are 'warmer pants'? Ah well. I guess my legs will freeze, or something.

Update on 22.10.2008:

For some reason, right now, I'm just feeling completely and totally anti-Russian in every sense. I hate everything, right now. I think a great deal of it is frustration. I'm really just wanting to drop everything, give up, and go home (though clearly, I can't). I don't know... It's probably temporary, but for now, I just want to stab something.

Of course, and this starts at a rather inconvenient time. It's still fairly early and my homework is complete, so I have plenty of time to go over vocabulary or read Russian articles for recreation, or watch TV or something. But I really just want to withdraw from that. Yeck.

Of course, and it doesn't make much sense... Two classes (including my LEAST FAVORITE) were cancelled this week, I had a very easy exam in one class.. I don't know. It should have been a good week (indeed, it went by ULTRA FUCKING QUICK), but it was not. Truly, it was awful. And I go to Moscow next weekend.

Last night it really hit me that I only have two more months, really... Which at one relieves and terrifies me. Mostly it terrifies me because this experience has pissed me off so much that I feel like I really need to come out on top by the end, and I'm not sure I can do that within the next two months. Despite my doing more goings-out every WEEK than I would be doing in MONTHS while in the U.S., I still feel like I'm not doing ENOUGH. I don't know.

In Which a Day is Wasted

2008-10-21T01:01:00.001-07:00

20.10.2008

Today was needlessly long. But it was mostly my own fault. I already want this week to be over, in either case.

So, I have this stupid habit of going to the Philological faculty at 10 in the morning every morning even when I don't have class until 1. Because I have some absurd idea in my mind that I must use the internet for hours every morning, but then I get to the computer and entirely forget about what I planned on doing.

In any case, went to class, had a test at about 4, then found out that I didn't have Human Rights today after I had already walked to Bobrinskij. Which was annoying, and I COULD HAVE just gone home but I decided to go to a lecture (by an American) on the U.S. elections and its impact on IR with Russia. Which was actually tremendously boring because, unfortunately, I didn't learn anything I didn't already know.

But... in the middle of this lecture, I realised something that actually took me off guard. I am an Obama voter. (Oh, yeah, by the way, I voted yesterday) Normally I find myself entirely detached from the American political goings on... I'm not really sure why. But, while thinking of the PROPOSITIONS!! on which I voted, I have a sense of pride. Since I voted AGAINST banning gay marriage in California, FOR several energy saving propositions, and FOR the rehabilitation of non-violent drug offenders (in stead of imprisonment). However, when thinking of the voting I did for the federal elections, I don't feel pride... I just feel kind of strange and uncomfortable. I don't know if this is due to for WHOM I voted, the fact that the American electoral system is absurd and fucked up and therefore my vote counts for very little to none, or a mix of the two.

Well, anyway, other than that, I really have no cultural observations for today. I have a lot of homework that needs to be done, but that's about it. Oh, and I'm planning to go to either Swan Lake or Romeo and Juliet at the end of the month (next week...? HOLY SHIT.) ... MAYBE I'LL GO TO BOTH. Actually, that's not an awful idea. They're on the 30th and the 31st, which are a Thursday and a Friday. I want to see Romeo and Juliet mostly because of the music, and I want to see Swan Lake because ... well, I'm in St. Petersburg, so I kind of need to see Swan Lake while I'm here. I sent a text to Yura asking if he'd like to go, but if he doesn't, then I think I'll just go alone. Or something. Maybe I'll find a boyfriend in the Marinskij theatre bathrooms.

In Which Rain Drops Fall Upon My Head

2008-10-20T00:05:00.001-07:00

Weekend of 18.10.2008

Basically I didn't get a damned thing done, yesterday, which is distressing because it was my day of work for the weekend. Well, and I'm supposed to do a bunch today, too, but instead I'm writing my journal and recuperating from last night.

When I left for the Sonne Hagal and Of the Wand & the Moon concert, it was pouring down. Weather was absolutely awful. Thankfully I didn't forget my umbrella, and somehow my hair kept its shape despite the extreme wetness. I found the club ("Club Revolution") fairly easily, but got lost once I got IN the club, because it was so damned huge. I went up to a room with a bunch of ... youngsters standing around listening to hip hop, and some strange blonde white Russian guy in ghetto clothes trying to dance in front of a gigantic mirror. I literally exclaimed aloud to myself, "Wrong room!" and flounced back down stairs, where I found the area in which the concert was to be held.

I just sat around until the concert started, after that. Of the Wand & the Moon was first... It was just two people -- a singer with an acoustic guitar, then a guy doing sound effects + tribal drumming and other various things. Now, I have never seen either of these bands because they don't have photos of themselves anywhere. From what I've seen. Of course, I didn't look too hard. But in any case, the singer looked as I would have expected... tall, mildly heavyset and bald with a long scraggly red beard. They were pretty damn good. I was pleased. I've never been that big on them in particular, but this changed my opinion.

Sonne Hagal was next, and .. well, the singer from Of the Wand & the Moon was doing the background synths and special effects, here, while the guy doing the special effects for Of the Wand & the Moon was the SINGER/acoustic guitarist for Sonne Hagal... Plus they had a keyboardist and a bassist. The singer... looked MUCH different than I thought he would... as he was small and unassuming. I don't know. It was strange.

Anyway, they were FANTASTIC. I was THOROUGHLY pleased. The crowd loved them, too, and we got them to come out and play a few more songs. The last song they played is one of my favorites, too! And the Runes Are Still Alive.

A note about the crowd. It was ...kind of strange; I was expecting a very eclectic looking crowd, but I guess that's what I get for expecting anything. Everyone was pretty average looking. As the band was finishing up, this middle aged Russian woman was going around trying to collect their autographs on her disc before they left the stage. I mean, there were SOME of what you would expect -- guys with long hair wearing all black. But they were the definite minority. Oh, and there was some crazy ass guy right up next to the stage who 'danced' to both bands' entire sets. And when I say he 'danced,' I mean, he waved his arms around in shamanistic ecstasy. After Sonne Hagal left the stage, he crawled up on stage and started kissing the frontman's guitar. That was interesting.

After that, I left to meet Maneka + others at Tri El', aaand... that was a nightmare. I didn't know how to get there, so when I got off the metro station I asked someone how to get to that particular street -- Unfortunately, I scared the hell out of her when I asked, when I came up to her... I think she was quite bitter, because the directions she gave me sent me the EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF WHERE I WANTED TO GO. AND I ENDED UP WALKING IN THE POURING FUCKING RAIN IN UNLIT AREAS OF ST. PETERSBURG FOR THE WORST PART OF 40 MINUTES. Eventually I stopped by in a 24 hour produkty to look at my atlas, and found my way to the club. With very wet feet. And somewhere along the way I lost a bobby pin. The tragedy.

I'm not going to even bother explaining the rest of the nights' events. They're not that exciting.

Ballet was tonight – My first time in the Marinskij Theatre. It was ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. The theatre, that is. Well, the ballet was, too. But to be honest I enjoyed the music more than I enjoyed the dancing – Prokofiev's Zolushka. The dance was contemporary, though. Most all the main dancers were great, but I didn't like most of the guys in the performance. To show the passage of time, they had four guys playing the four seasons, and their costumes were ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS. It really detracted a lot for me. But in any case, my favorite favorite dances were the huge group dances for the ballroom scenes, in which there were pairs of males and pairs of females dancing with eachother in the back and periphery – scandalous!! Oh, and when I went into the bathroom I recalled how many articles and book I've read that mentioned the Marinskij theatre bathrooms as a common meeting place for homosexuals in Russia. So, I was wary of them thar pederasts.

Sunday:

It wasn't too windy or cold, today, so I went to the Udel'naya market as planned. And I am glad that I did – It was a nice break to myself (not that the past couple of days haven't been breaks), and I bought things. Unfortunately, I bought expensive things, so I have very little money right now.

Basically, I went in with the intention of buying:

-Gifts for people
-A jacket and a hat for myself
-A passport holder, and a student card holder

I ended up buying one gift, a hat, and the document holders. I saw a jacket I liked, but it was way too large. I was going to ask the guy if he had a smaller one but he was busy with other people and I just arrived, so I decided to shop around a bit. Unfortunately, when I was walking through the huge back yard flea market area, it started to rain, so everyone was packing up their stuff to leave, except for a few stubborn people left behind. I was seeing a lot of Orthodox stuff, so I was like “OH! I'll buy a gift for Ben!” Every time I asked for a price on something, it was absurdly expensive. I almost bought this one thing that was 20 dollars, but it was a huge gaudy metal Orthodox cross plate thing... and I realised Ben probably wouldn't even want that. So there that went.

I also saw a REALLY awesome ring, that had a latch where you could adjust its size and whatnot. I was going to buy that for Aislyn, but it was fucking 2500 rubles (100 dollars). No. Fucking. Way. On that note, I was having an absurdly difficult time trying to find a ring for her, despite the massive amount of ring vendors at the market. Ah well.

On my way out, I had bought a gift, and the holders, so I figured I'd buy a hat, and stop by the jacket vendor if I had money after that. Well, I saw a nice looking woman selling ushanki, and she was pleasant... (Ushanki, for those who don't know, are those classic fur hats with the ear flaps). Well, it was ... very expensive. I know they're expensive, but I thought since I was at a market it would be less expensive. Maybe she ripped me off. Maybe not. Either way, I'm glad that I bought it, though it is a TAD small. Also, it's not black... I thought it was black when I bought it. I might end up buying a second one and giving this one to my mom.

I'm still determined to buy a jacket, and I still need to buy more gifts, so I'm going to go back next week, depending on the weather. I saw something I wanted to get for Brendan, but the vendor had put plastic over it to protect it from the rain when I came back through a second time, and I didn't want to bother with that, so I'll probably see it next week. Who knows. I also saw a pair of underwear coloured as the Russian flag with РОССИЯ printed across the waistband, and I wanted to be ultra tacky and get those, but they too were covered by plastic on my way back.

All in all, it was a good trip. Basically, I really just wanted to go and shop at least ONCE before it got too cold – and now, even if I never get to go again I won't really regret it. But, again, I'll probably be able to go next week, and I think I'll be more prepared this time.
That was my Sunday. Well, really, my weekend. Now to spend the rest of my day and night doing homework.

In Which the Televizor is Smottretted

2008-10-17T02:25:00.001-07:00

16.10.2008

So, while flipping through the channels, I've noticed another phenomenon. As I've said before, Russians dub movies. All movies. Subbing is unheard of unless it's a REALLY big movie, and on an 'official' DVD. However, their concept of "dubbing" is a bit different than ours. They just have one or two voice 'actors' talk over the movie. So basically it's just all garbled sound because you hear the actual actors talking under the Russian. BUT, it seems that they PROPERLY DUB cartoons. And the voice actors ACTUALLY VOICE ACT. As in, they have EMOTION. And INTONATION. I was watching Pinky and the Brain (Пинки и Брейн!), earlier, in Russian. This is how I know. It's kind of annoying because there were a few movies on I would have loved to watch but the dubbing was just so awful I couldn't stand it for more than 30 seconds. I also found a channel that has a woman in the corner doing sign language translation, which is neat.

I also realised that everything from this country in general is just low quality. There is very little Russian that is GOOD. Literature and orchestral music excepted. Well, I also think the pop music is EXCELLENT, but that's a different sort of excellent.

Or perhaps I'm just a cultural elitist. Whatever.

Oh, wait, no, I'm wrong. Their drag performance is fantastic.

Basically, I did nothing today except go to class. I re-took a quiz, and uh, I feel like I put all the same answers as I did last time. But I don't particularly care for my RSL classes, right now -- It feels like a swarming mass of grammar and none of it is sticking for some reason. I feel like my main source of knowledge right now should be coming from me TALKING with people. But that seems to be rare. We'll see.

I think I'm going to start talking to people more, in general. Asya stopped me on the way back to Smolny, yesterday (She kissed my cheek, too, which surprised me -- I didn't know she even liked me) and we had a short conversation. She was listening to Noise Unit, which surprised me, because I thought she was more into metal. But in any case, after that encounter, I realised that it might actually be rude here to just wave and say "Hi" to a friend when you pass them -- you should at least stop and inquire about their wellbeing or something, unless you're in a hurry. Which no one here is. If this is the case, then it might explain why everyone here is late all the damn time. But in any case, I know enough people with whom I'm comfortable, now, that I COULD do this. So, There's a goal.

Luckily, I have a full weekend. I need to release stress. Tomorrow I'm going to do some work, then I'm going to the Sonne Hagal and Of the Wand & the Moon concert, then right after that I'll be going to Central Station. Saturday, I'm going to ... sleep, then in the evening I'll be going to Золушка(Zolushka, Cinderella) at the Marinskij Theatre. Sunday, I am determined to go to Udel'naya (market), because it's getting colder by the day here and there's no way I'm going in the winter.

So, this entry has no continuity, but oh well. In any case, the past week or two I've been really ... inspired. In general. Mostly in fashion, a bit in art (photography, especially), but in general aesthetics. Also in what I want to read, what I want to write, and so forth. What is annoying is that I can't realise this at all while I'm here. Photography, yes, but in personal aesthetics or anything else, not at all. I simply don't have anything I need. Time included. What's more annoying is that this inspiration is going to dissipate when I'm back in the U.S. I don't know -- I'm a strange individual. Occasionally I'll see or experience something in the U.S. that really drives me to do something, but unfortunately it doesn't last very long; I get bored and I move on. Here, I've been constantly on edge, wanting to release some sort of creativity, but I haven't had much of any outlet. America just doesn't inspire me much. Maybe that will change when I go back. But, Russia inspires me much more, even as much as I hate being here, sometimes.

Morning update (Friday, 17.10.2008):

So, these past couple of days I've had to RUN from the apartment building to the bus stop as the number 7 rumbles down the street. That's been an adventure, but at least I haven't had to wait at the bus stop for any amount of time.

I came to Smolny this morning in order to receive some tutoring, which turned out better than I thought it would. Vika helped me with my problems, then we talked for a while, and she said I spoke Russian well. Which was nice. It was a very comfortable conversation, and I could actually speak with relative ease and speed. I wish I could speak with Tatyana that easily, but I can't understand half of what she says anyhow.

I also came to Smolny in order to use the internet. Of course, the wireless is not working, as usual, so I'm hogging the computer in the office. Later tonight, it seems I will be going to Tri El' after the concert, which is actually mildly annoying... I was hoping to go to Central Station tonight in order to develop relations with young Russian men, which is an unlikely thing to happen at a lesbian bar, but Tri El' actually has better dance music and I should spend time with friends, anyway -- Going to CS might've been a toss-up, as if I didn't meet ANYONE, I'd be there for like seven hours, alone, and bored. So, there's that. Instead, I'll be going to a lesbian bar where everyone there will give me angry glares because I am a man. But that is life.

2008-10-15T23:47:00.001-07:00

15.10.2008

So I was at Smolny from 11.00am - 8.30pm, today, which was pretty awful. I spent the morning doing internet things, though, so that was pleasant. Then I had four and a half hours of class. Which was unpleasant. When I got to my Central Asian class, the professor said that we were going to Bobrinskij Palace (FROM WHICH I HAD JUST COME, AND IT'S A DAMNED 15 MINUTE WALK) for the second half of class in order to attend a short lecture and discussion on ... well, I'm not quite sure what it was about. And it was in English. It was entitled, "Where is Human Rights?" and it was focused around the killing of an Iraqi human rights activist by militants three years ago, and the militants left a note about human rights, so 'we' were dissecting what exactly they meant by human rights and from where they are getting their ideas and discourse and what have you. SOUNDS interesting, but it was overall tremendously painful. I actually left early. Usually I'd stick around because I hate leaving in the middle of something, but...

There was one amusing point during the lecture, though. The lecturer, an American professor, was going on about some French ...article or book or something, and after he said the absurdly long French title, he translated it into English, and it was something aalong the lines of "Vietnamese boat people being attacked by pirates." Well, at this point, I wasn't quite paying attention, and when I heard this sentence I chortled a little, then caught myself, and the more I thought about it, the more I had to hold back laughter. I'm sitting there in pain, because I can't laugh, because that's tremendously unprofessional, and tears are rolling down my cheeks because I'm thinking about Vietnamese BOAT PEOPLE being attacked by PIRATES. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. Perhaps I am a terrible person.

My walk home was much more entertaining. After getting off the metro, I'm walking through the square around the station when I see this section blocked off by a couple cement blocks and tape, and I'm like "wonder what happened.." So, I walk by it, and there's a hole in the pavement. Not like someone had DUG a hole, but like it had been MELTED THROUGH from under ground. And steam was rising from it. I was like, "What the hell?" So, now I feel really safe walking around on the pavement sidewalks, here. Because apparently they are really thick and sturdy. (This is also definitely a new development, because I walked right by that place last night and it was perfectly fine).

Then, while walking across the street, this guy in front of me KICKS a moving bus, for some reason, and then is surprised when he loses balance and falls over... That was mildly bizarre.

In other news, I've had bliny for breakfast TWICE in two days. This makes me thoroughly pleased. Mmm, bliny.

Unfortunately, tomorrow is Thursday. I hate Thursdays. I have SMI and Grammar in Situations on Thursdays. It's a struggle for me to decide whether or not to skip these classes, every damned week. I hate them. I hate them so much. I have a quiz re-take in Grammar tomorrow because apparently we did THAT poorly. Of course, I haven't studied. But I don't care. I kind of hate the teacher. He's an American. And a pretentious jackass. I guess I should LOVE Thursdays, though, since I don't have class on Fridays and that's kind of my week end starter. Though I rarely have anything to do on Thursday nights. Maybe I should go to clubs on Thursday instead of the weekend.. Since I always have trouble figuring out if Friday or Saturday is better.

Tomorrow I'm tutoring English. It's a really ... strange program. The person who is organising it, an English teacher (who speaks very broken English, ironically enough), wants us to come up with a "theme" for each section, and she wants there to be some sort of product at the end of the semester to show that the 'students' had improved... I don't know, it seems mildly bizarre, and more work than it should be. So I guess I'm just going to have everyone discuss their interests tomorrow so we can come up with a theme for the section. Assuming anyone shows up. Which, they should, since apparently all the Smolny girls think I'm a fine specimen of a man. Or something. I don't know. I think people tell me stories to get on my good side.

Alright, I've procrastinated for half an hour. That's enough.

In Which Rest is to be Had

2008-10-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

14.10.2008

Music: Sonne Hagal - The Three Ravens

Today was fairly tolerable. Classes went well, though I hate my speaking practise class because of how the professor teaches it, plus I don't think she likes me very much. Afterwards, I did a little research for my human rights class, blah blah.

Basically just resting for the rest of the night -- Uploading photos from my camera, reading, doing some homework, listening to music... I don't get to listen to music as much as I'd like. Sometimes, I wish I had a small MP3 player or something. But, ah well.

Unfortunately, I am breaking out like hell, for some reason. I mean, my skin isn't that great in the first place, but that's mostly because I'm lazy as hell and rarely wash my face. I normally don't care -- when I do break out, I just blast my face with an acid treatment and everything goes away in a couple days. But now, I think I'm going to have to wash my face on a daily basis, because it's starting to get ridiculous.

On that note, I went to the аптека(basically, a small pharmacy) today to pick up some face wash, shower gel, and earplugs. I seemed to be an attraction (probably because they thought I was going to steal something), and even moreso when they realised I was American. I asked if they had any "пробки для ухов" (translation: plugs for the ears), and when I was buying my stuff, a few of the workers were like surrounding me, and I overheard them talking about me..

Girl 1 - ..What did he call them?
Girl 2 - Plugs for the ears (snicker).
Me - (Turns around to let them know he UNDERSTANDS WHAT THEY ARE SAYING) ... What are they ACTUALLY called?
Girl 2 - (Unphased) Беруши. (Berushi)
Me - Thanks. (Smiles wide like an American)

All in all, it wasn't unpleasant, but mildly amusing. Of course, I know I'd laugh a little if I worked at a pharmacy and a foreigner came in and asked for "plugs for the ears." That being SAID, I actually thought that's what they were called. I mean, come on -- they call adhesive lint brushes "roller for the cleaning of clothing," and curtains are called "clothing for the window." So, to avoid any embarassment, ask for BERUSHI if you want earplugs in Russia, not "probki dlya ukhov." Oh, and, to top it all off, they were 33 rubles for A PAIR of ear plugs. That's about $1.30.

I actually don't have that much to write, today... I'm feeling fairly well, I suppose. I've decided I'm going to go see Sonne Hagal and Of the Wand and the Moon on Friday. It's 500 rubles at the door -- I can buy tickets in advance for 400 rubles, but they only sell them at the club and at some other store that I don't know. So, I'm just going to pay at the door. Then, either Friday night or Saturday night I'm going to stay out until the morning at either Tri El' or Central Station, depending on if Maneka is going to Tri El' this week or not. And, finally, Sunday, I am DETERMINED to go to Udel'naya, so that I can check it out WHILE NOT DEATHLY ILL before it gets absurdly cold. I'm going to check out their jackets and hats, then the massive mud-rug sale out back in order to buy gifts for people back home.

I uploaded photos from Pskov/Staryj Izborsk/Pechory. Check facebook, or something. Too many to put here! And I'm too lazy.

In Which Male-Female Relations Are Awkward

2008-10-14T03:44:00.001-07:00

13.10.2008

I'm not sure how to start this entry. The day wasn't particularly exciting, but a lot of thoughts have been rattling around in my skull, recently. Well, clearly, but ... I don't know. I don't really even want to splurge them out in the journal because I don't feel like whining. Right now, though, I'm writing IN ORDER TO BE cathartic... I really just don't want to do my homework right now. Or anything, for that matter. I guess if my biggest problem is my academics, then I'm doing pretty well, right? Not particularly.

But, in any case, for anecdotes. I'm not sure if I've written about our lovely barrista in the Philological Faculty cafe. She's a wonderful blonde Russian woman with massive amounts of make-up and massive breasts further accentuated by her small tops. She also always wears a matching short skirt, and you can always see her underwear. Many times, her belly is exposed, showing her belly button. I'm sure everyone has a nice picture in their head -- Now, add about 30 pounds of weight to that picture, and it'll probably be a bit more accurate. I mean, she's not FAT, but she is definitely plump. In a very pleasant way. I love her to death. She is fantastic. And rude as all hell. In any case, today, while sitting in the cafe, I heard this ... camera noise. I didn't know what it was, then I realised it was coming from behind me, BEHIND THE COUNTER. I happened to be at the perfect angle to see Alla (the barrista) in the reflection of the plastic ... candy ... thing, and she was TAKING PHOTOS OF HERSELF WITH HER PHONE. It was fantastic. Some day, I will have to sneak pictures of her to fully expose her glory.

In other news, I have Russian girls attacking me from all sides, and it's kind of annoying. I mean, I feel more comfortable with girls, but I want to be their FRIEND. I was talking with this girl, Olga, who is in my Russia and the U.S.A class, and she was telling me she saw the photos I put up on V Kontakte, and she said "Супер! Мне ОЧЕНЬ понравилось!" (trans: I REALLY liked them!) And then she started talking about the Russian countryside and about how I should visit Vyborg and Pushkin, and about how beautiful they were. And that I should go some time when I don't have anything to do. And I think she was hinting that I should ask her to come with me ...? Or something. I don't know. It was kind of awkward.

Then, later, I was talking with this other girl in my Human Rights class [P.S.: Apparently she was sick -- So, I'm not alone in that class] named Anya, and she asked me if I were emo... and I'm like, "No?" Anyway, so we're just conversing, then she asks if I have a "girl" back in America. Of course, that was awkward, so I basically just said that I live in California, and study in Maryland, so I'm always travelling back and forth, and don't have time, whatever.

And then there was this other girl, Alina, on the Pskov trip. She's from Turkmenistan, and she kept trying to buddy up and talk to me. I probably should've been more outgoing, but I'm a dumb person. She smiled at me a lot. Which was suspicious. And Liza, who came up and talked to me last week -- I mentioned this to a couple people, and they were amazed, because apparently she never does this.

I don't know. Whatever. I guess I shouldn't complain ssince I'm getting language practise, but it's just a big ball of awkward, because I can't invite them anywhere or it's automatically assumed that it's a date.

Speaking of which, I've decided I'm going to try and go to the Sonne Hagal and Of the Wand and the Moon concert. Which is THIS Friday so I need to figure out how to get tickets. We'll see what happens.

Oh, and I made a deviantart page for my photography. Someone favorited one of my photos within an hour of me making my account, so, I guess that's something. I do have to say that it's nice to actually have a tangible 'hobby' (as much as I hate that term/concept) outside of ... collecting music? Being pretentious? I don't know.

2008-10-13T04:49:00.000-07:00

10.10.2008

Friday:

So, Tatyana fixed the TV in my room for me. Which may have been a horrid mistake -- I might end up just sitting and brooding in my room with the TV for the rest of my time here than doing anything else. Which is exactly what I am doing this FRIDAY EVENING. But, I have to get up at 6:20am tomorrrow to go to Pskov, so I hadn't planned on doing anything tonight, anyway.

I've found a couple TV shows I like to watch, of similar vein to what I watch in the U.S. I think I've already written about Звездный Лед/Zvezdnyj Lyod, so I won't bother getting into that. Right now I'm watching ... uh ... Супер Стар 2008... which is ... Super Star 2008. It's another performance show, with various people singing pop songs and being voted on. I can't tell from where they get their contestants, though -- Some of them are old washed up Russian pop stars (which is kind of a small pool, because usually once they're a star in Russia, they stay a star and continue making and selling music successfully until they DIE) singing new pop songs and others are... not? I don't know. It's strange.

The first song was "Два косичики колбаски," which I think means "two small sausages" or something like that. In any case, the singer came on stage wearing a full leopard print outfit, a hot pink KISS shirt, and a fox stole, singing this song, and two people dressed up as sausages come out and dance on the stage. It was quite ridiculous.

All in all, Russian TV is pretty bad. I tried to watch some CSI sort of show the other day, and it was intolerable. The drama shows are even more unbearable. And there's something about Russian intonation that makes everything anyone says sound exactly the same, and sound very very important. I don't know.

Today I dragged myself out to the Hermitage. Last night I was feeling awful, and this morning, too -- I considered just staying in and doing nothing today, but that would've just made me feel worse, so I went out. And got lost. A few times. Which wasn't all that bad, to be honest. It was a lot more busy this time than last. And some strange foreign girl asked to have her picture taken with me. I think she thought I was Russian. So now she's going to go home and show her friends this photo, saying, "OMG look at the hot Russian guy I found at the Hermitage! I asked him for a photo!" Too bad she doesn't know that I'm NOT RUSSIAN!! AAHAHAHAHAHA.

Then I came home and had the treat of PEL'MENI for dinner. Thank God I haven't seen stuffed cabbage for a week. However, I'm getting to the point where I actually like the greasy soup, pizza, and strange meat pies. Which might be good or bad, I haven't decided yet.

Oh, so, I'm reading my textbook for my Russia and the U.S.A class (the text is in Russian even though the class is in English), and the beginning of the section I'm on is describing the situation in America during the 70's. Well, it's going through Watergate, (P.S.: It took me forever to figure out what the hell “Уотергейт” was supposed to be – transliterated, that's Uotergejt. Yep), when it says “By American law, this was a serious infringement of the law.” For some reason, this struck me – Does it have such a statement in any AMERICAN descriptions of Watergate? Does it need to be SAID that this is a serious infringement of the law? I mean, maybe not in the Russian context, but, anyway.

So, I go to Pskov, tomorrow. Tatyana asked me when I was waking up, and when I told her 6:30, she was like “Wow, that's early... Uh, here.” then pulls out a litre of orange juice and three bananas and tells me it's my breakfast, because she's not waking up that early to make me breakfast. I thought that was a little amusing.

Post-Pskov:

This weekend was good, I'd say. It felt good to get out of the city. I guess I went to Pavlovsk last week, which was out of the city, but this was ... REALLY out of the city. Pskov itself was pretty small, but nice. Lots of cultural goings. Five hour bus ride, then we get to the city and have a short bus-tour before getting to the hotel (I HAD AN ENTIRE ROOM TO MYSELF BECAUSE ONE OF THE PEOPLE DIDN'T SHOW UP YAAAAY). After that we went to a cafe, then the Pskov kremlin (For those who don't know, a “kremlin” is actually a Russian walled fort with a church or a monastery). We were free to go after the tour, so several of us just took a walk through the city and its parks. Beautiful day – I got a couple of shots of me sitting on the ancient Pskov wall! Which was, as its name indicates, quite crumbling and decrepit. I was excited to go to Pskov because of its history; during the middle ages, it was captured and traded between Lithuania, Poland, Estonia and Russia on many different occasions.

Today (Sunday), we went to Старый Изборск/Staryj Izborsk, which was basically.... another old fort. The walk TO the fort, however, was ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. I absolutely CANNOT describe it with words. I took a MASSIVE amounts of photos, which I will upload at some point in the near future. After Izborsk, we went to some monastery (which is still working, and had many a sketchy Orthodox monk wandering about) in a town called Печоры/Pechory. I didn't take many photos here because I was so broken down, but, I saw dead saints. I felt kind of awkward... Being a tourist in a working monastery... I don't know.

Last night I had my first encounter with Russians forcing alcohol on me, and I now don't understand why ANYONE drinks vodka. It tastes like rubbing alcohol. I had three shots, and it didn't do anything to me, so, whatever. I just drank juice after that. Then watched the World Fashion Channel, and now want to go shopping.

I really want to describe the walk to the Izborsk fort, but I really ... can't. It was seriously just so beautiful. It's fall (clearly), so all the leaves are turning, and just... I don't know.

I'm going to make this short since it's midnight and I'm tired and still want to look at some of the photos I took.

The following photographs are from Pavlovsk, not Pskov. (Click to view full image)

Also some of the Botanical Gardens:

In Which Everything Gets OUT! OF! CONTROL!

2008-10-08T23:45:00.001-07:00

08.10.2008

Today was fairly unexciting in the subject of events, so the entry should be short. Comparative to most of my other entries, anyway. Perhaps my insight will get OUT! OF! HAND!

In any case, I didn't try to fit in, today. And I actually felt a lot more comfortable that way. I didn't dress OUT! OF! CONTROL! but I did my hair a little and wore a neckerchief. So I didn't feel paranoid and confused when people looked at me strangely, since I WASN'T trying to fit in. Does that make any sense? Probably not.

I went to Bobrinskij Palace (where I have some of my classes -- don't let the name confuse you; they renovated the palace so on the inside it looks nothing like a palace. Indeed, it looks like a very... boring ... office building. Or something. I don't know) and did computer things, then worked on the article I was having trouble reading. Which was a joke, since we DIDN'T EVEN DISCUSS IT. I've been getting all riled up over all my Russian readings the whole damned time I've been here, and time and time again I've seen that it doesn't really matter.

The Russian girl in my class, Olga, sat next to me, today, and talked with me a little. I don't know -- I feel kind of awkward; making friends is hard in general, but I feel like it's particularly hard for me. I feel overly uncomfortable with guys, but male-female relations in Russia are almost strictly 'more than' friendship. So, when a male and female talk, or go out to eat, or basically ANYTHING, it's considered flirting/a date. And apparently I register as a very masculine and desirable male specimen on the Russian scale. Keeping that in mind, I'm trying to be careful to not find myself suddenly with a girlfriend. A few girls have stopped to talk with me, and a lot look at me -- though, I always figured it was because they thought I was weird. I have been informed otherwise. Whatever.

So, uh, I've 'formulated' plans for this week. Which, since it is Wednesday (Thursday when I post this, I suppose), can't be that much... Tomorrow I may be doing something with Yura, and Friday I plan on going to the Hermitage museum. Oh, tomorrow I also have a meeting about tutoring in English.

And then, this weekend, PSKOV! Which should be exciting. I suppose. Cultural, if nothing else.

I don't know if I mentioned this in an earlier entry, but, I think that I might have a fear of developing relationships. That is, more than friendships. When classes first started, and I didn't know Pavel but kept seeing him in the halls and such, I thought he was cute, and wanted to get to know him -- Once that absurdity started, though, any potential desire for that kind of failed. It was similar with Sasha. About whom I don't think I spoke, actually. And I'm not going to. Because that was just kind of dumb, and not particularly interesting.

Ooone last thing: I GET TO VOTE! My absentee ballot arrived at my house (in California) just recently, and my parents are going to fill it out and send it in, for me. As per my instructions, of course. Not that my vote MATTERS, since California will inevitably go to Obama, anyhow. But, whatever, I suppose it's the principle of the matter. And I get to vote for local junk, if there is any. Of which I will, of course, be entirely uneducated in. Ah, well.

P.S.: If anyone happens to run across a McCain speech which includes his plans for foreign policy, I would be most appreciative if you send those along to me. I've found Obama's, but not McCain's, yet. Hm.

In Which Frustrations Abound

2008-10-08T00:26:00.000-07:00

07.10.2008

So, I look up the word "подкинуть," in my dictionary and it says "perfective of подкидывать." I'm like, alright, well, whatever, and look for "подкидывать." Next to this word it says "imperfective of подкинуть." ..... Thank you, dictionary. How tremendously helpful of you. Thankfully my host mother has a few dictionaries lying about, so it means "to toss up, to throw up."

What I was kind of originally afraid about this trip is happening. I am speaking far, far too much English. I wish I realised this was happening sooner, but in my total discomfort of an alien world I had to have some sort of connection, some sort of friendship, and at the time the only thing available to me was English-speaking. I wish I could kind of just disconnect myself from everyone else in the program, but clearly that's not going to happen. The people with whom I DO speak, I DO like, and I wish to be friends with them. So, I don't know.

I suppose I could just start speaking Russian with them, but I tend to get impatient with myself and switch to English when I can't say exactly what I want to say in Russian. If I'm speaking with someone I know who speaks English, that is. Which is why I am glad I met Yura and Andrei, since they don't speak English at all (well, Yura speaks a little, but Andrei none at all). Unfortunately I haven't heard from Yura for a week. So basically it's just a stupid cycle of me wasting my time. I'm going to try to contact him this week to see if he's free before the weekend (since I'm going to Pskov this weekend). So, there's that.

Class yesterday, Human Rights, was good. The fact that I only read 11 pages of the 50 didn't seem to be a problem -- and he said I didn't have to finish it unless it were interesting (which it wasn't). I think the Russian girl dropped it, though... which means ... it's just me. and Andrei, the teacher. So, uh, yeah, that's kind of strange. But yesterday I talked a lot, and I answered almost all of his questions correctly (sometimes in English because I simply didn't know how to say it in Russian -- I think he wants some practise in English anyway, so I don't feel bad about this since it's a trade off). He got really excited every time I said something correct. So that was good. And he didn't cut class off too short like he did last week, which is good -- I feel sorry for him because this is his first ever taught class, and no one signed up except a stupid American who doesn't understand anything. But he doesn't seem to mind. Aaaand I have no work for that class this week -- it's a lecture next week.

That being said, I have a damned article I'm reading for my U.S.A and Russia I.R. course tomorrow, and it's only like three pages... and I don't understand a damned bit of it. It's frustrating as hell, and written very strangely. I don't know. A couple people in that class are at a lower level of Russian than I, then the other two are a little better than I am, so we'll see what happens. Oh, and then there's the Russian girl, but she never says anything.

There was a stunningly beautiful girl on the bus, today. I don't really know how to describe her -- It wasn't really a model sort of beauty (though she could definitely be a model) -- it was more a natural, classical beauty. I almost stood up and gave her my seat, but I decided not to reinforce heterosexist norms of behavior.

I think I've mentioned this before, but I feel like I've hit a plateau in my learning. I feel like there's a barrier in my mind not allowing me to learn any more Russian, or improve in either comprehension or communication. When I listen to the T.V., or listen in on peoples' conversations, I can only understand the structure of the sentences and half of what they're saying -- like, "He understands that we .... and then at that moment .... on Saturday there is a .... I saw that, as well, but when they ...." and so on, so I just get a skeleton of a conversation but the meat of it is entirely not understood. And when I speak, I feel like I speak barely comprehensible broken strings of Russian. I don't know. Yura and Andrei (my teacher, not Yura's boyfriend) said that I speak Russian well. So did some other girl whose name I've forgotten, a while back. But I think that's entirely based on their low standards, thinking that no one except Russians know how to speak Russian. And, neither Yura nor the girl know how to speak English at all, so, I don't know.

Oh, and Pavel hasn't spoken with me for a week. He's also apparently decided he's not going to Pskov. Sooo, who knows what happened there. I wanted to be his friend, but as Liza said "he wanted more, and I just wasn't into that." Or something along those lines. Whatever, I'm not going to lament.

I have a meeting on Thursday, about tutoring in English. So I might get a job, which is good. I won't feel so bad about spending 50 rubles a day on German chocolate that I don't need.

Well, I had planned on ending my evening with a bit of recreational reading and watching of documentary goodness, but it seems that my acacemics are going to consume my life for the time being. My time management has flown out the window. I need to go catch it.

2008-10-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

05.10.2008

I should be doing my homework right now, but I really just don't want to do a damned thing, so I figure I might as well do something minorly productive and write an overall entry for the weekend.

As I mentioned in my last entry, Saturday was just damned stupid. The only thing worth mentioning is that I decided to go ahead and eat lunch at one of the cafes I stopped at to use internet (unfortunately, this particular cafe's wi-fi had "ended" not long ago... they probably just wanted me to leave or something. They were kind of swanky). Well. I was dumb, and ordered a damned FISH dish. I HATE fish. HATE HATE HATE fish. It was quite expensive, so I figure I may as well eat it all to save myself the embarassment. It had a couple pieces of shrimp, a clam of some sort, and then other various fish parts, but it was mostly comprised of pasta and sauce. I ate the pasta and sauce fairly well, with very little fishy taste. I ate both shrimps, just barely, and wanted to die in the process, chugging a cup of tea to choke it down. I couldn't eat the rest of it, and I almost DIED when I realised I had eaten a small tentacle. So I just gathered the rest of the fish on the side of my plate, and inconspicuously wrapped it all in a tissue and stuffed it in my bag so the waiter wouldn't see. That was awful.

Today was half decent -- Was going to Pavlovsk, as the leaves had turned, so, yeah. Tatyana fed me ... hot dog pirozhki this morning. Which was ... interesting. Then I left for the train station (last time, I went to Pavlovsk by bus) and had my first Russian train experience. Which was about as terrible as it sounds. Truly, the metro is luxury compared. But, it only cost 28 rubles, which is a little over one dollar, so, whatever.

Pavlovsk was beautiful, fun was had, whatever. The only exciting thing was that there were a lot of people there, which isn't all that exciting. I have, however, noticed that women were wearing HIGH HEELS. Which is bizarre, because Pavlovsk is mostly one big 700 hectare park forest thing. At one point I saw this woman walking around with a bunch of leaves IMPALED on her heels, just walking around like she didn't care. Luckily, she kept walking back and forth around this cafe, so I got a photo, AND a video. YES, A VIDEO. While the group was getting food, I was food watching and got the idea to video the scenes around me. Because my mom wants to see Russian people, or something. I don't know.

In any case, when we got back into St. Petersburg, Bryan wanted to show us this neat DVD and music store ... when we got there, I stopped dead. I heard fucking TONY WAKEFORD'S VOICE playing. I was like, 'what the hell is this?' and wanted to kill Bryan for not showing me this place before. So, somehow, I gravitate to the DVDs and land in front of the music DVD section and find ... Fad Gadget? And Death in June? What the FUCK? Some other good stuff, too, and a huge rack of Soviet classics and whatnot, but I was more interested in Fad Gadget and Death in June at this point. There were three different Death in June DVDs, so I bought a skeezy looking documentary, "Death in June: Behind the Mask" and "Fad Gadget By Frank Tovey," which has two discs of live performances, TV appearances, and a documentary. The documentary cost about six dollars, the Fad Gadget 12. I think they're both pirated, but Frank Tovey is dead and I doubt Douglas Pearce cares.

Then ... when I was buying the DVDs, I saw a poster saying that Sonne Hagal and Of the Wand and the Moon are both playing in St. Petersburg on October 17th. I almost had a stroke right there. But, despite my initial excitement, I'm not sure I'm going to go... Not because of the artists, but because of the possible crowd. I mean, I know (am fairly sure?) that the musicians do not espouse fascist ideas and are not fascists themselves, they are just ... very ... ambiguous about it and twist it around in a very provocative fashion. Of course, if I remember correctly at least one member of Sonne Hagal is openly gay, but whatever. In any case, St. Petersburg is home to a very large and continually growing neo-fascist population, and Russians seem to have a problem grasping artistic ambiguity and irony, SO, even if the groups themselves are not fascists, the audience might be FILLED with them. I'm going to ask around about the venue (The "Revolution Club") and make my decision based around that, I guess.

Oh, speaking of Revoltions... Pyaterochka, the major super market chain here, is advertising a month long sale... of "October Revolution Revolutionary Prices!" The flier is read, and features a picture of the Potemkin. And ends with something like, "Shop at Pyaterochka, comrade!" So, it's nice to know that the U.S. does not have a monopoly on commercialising our history and national holidays.

In Which a Stripshow is Attended

2008-10-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

04.10.2008

Alright, so, most of yesterday was just stupid, so I'm only going to devote a couple sentences to the stupidity since the description of nighttime activities will be fairly long. Basically, I decided it was going to be a productive day, so I went around to buy things that I needed. I got success in all except the most important: Abbyy Lingvo. After consistent failures and realising how difficult my life is going to be if I don't get that damned electronic dictionary THIS WEEKEND, I was in a terrible mood.

HOWEVER.

Maneka and I went to Tri El' last night, which is St. Petersburg's only lesbian night club (and, sadly, is closing in November). Ilana and Vika were going to go with us, but they decided to go hom when we reached the metro station, because they were too drunk. Sad. Anyway, Maneka and I pushed onwards, with plans of going there and only spending a couple hours, heading home before the metro closes.

Well, when we got there, they asked for 100 rubles from each of us. Then the doorperson gave me a look, and asked for our documents, which we showed to her, then she charged me 400 rubles. I guess she thought I was a woman when I first entered. I'm glad I haven't broken my track record for gender ambiguity in crowds which should be well tuned to such things. In any case, Maneka felt bad and paid part of my cover (their website said they only charge 150 for men on Fridays; they only ever even let men in on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays). So we went in.

All of the tables had "reserved" signs on them, and the club was actually pretty empty. Which was unsurprising, since it was only like 10:30. Maneka was disappointed, and I told her Central Station was the same, and people don't really start rolling in until midnight. So we wandered around a little bit, got a bunch of odd looks, then went out onto the dancefloor, where there were more tables that were "reserved." We sat down for a bit, then saw this one woman dancing by herself and figured we'd get some dancing in, too.

By this point we decided to stay for the rest of the night, since it cost so damn much to get me in, and Maneka really wanted to stay. So I just sent a text to my host mom, and at around midnight the place started to get really busy (except, there were only like 3-4 guys, myself included, in the club at any one time).

I... really just kind of prefer lesbian crowds to gay crowds, in general. I also like watching them dance, more -- There was a lot more pairing up, and it was very clear that most of these people were couples. In a gay club, any pairing up is mostly just a one-night hook-up, and it's kind of depressing.

In any case, I was just there to have fun, so I didn't have any sort of expectations. And a lot of girls were giving me obvious looks trying to figure out if I were a guy or a girl. Unfortunately, no one talked to us. HOWEVER, there was this crazy girl on the dance floor -- she had long black hair, and she was wearing grey skinny jeans, a striped white button-up shirt, a tie, and a pair of heels. Overall, she was very Russian. And she kept bumping into us even though there were only like five people total on the dance floor. At one point she bumped into Maneka and freaked out, exclaiming "Простите, простите!" (Forgive me, forgive me! Very formal..) and kissed her hand. I so wanted to be friends with this girl.

It was also interesting to see the Russian lesbian culture. Mullets were abound, but mullets are abound in Russia altogether, so that was unsurprising. The crowd was actually pretty evenly split between your 'average looking' stereotyped lesbians, the contemporary sort of punkish lesbians, and the very Russian women who were all dressed up and so forth.

The bar had a fairly large nonalcoholic section... so I drank two "молочный коктель" (molochnij koktel', milk cocktail) which was ... three scoops of ice cream and some milk in a blender. It was delicious. I'm going to start making that shit when I get home.

When we were getting ready to leave at like 3 in the morning, some announcement came on over the dance floor that we couldn't understand, and it was clear that some sort of show was about to start. Well, a drag queen emcee came on stage, and I was ... expecting the worst. She was saying weird things, and like, we could understand most everything except the last line, and she would always rhyme the last line. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Anyway, they were clearly jokes, as everyone was laughing and clapping after she finished.

So, alright. I'm going to explain as much as I can, but, what ensued turned out to be THE BEST DRAG SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY FUCKING LIFE. PERIOD. There were four performers total, including the emcee -- one was a woman, the other three were men dressed as women. There was only one instance of drag kinging, unfortunately, when they dragged a poor audience member up on the stage and forced her to lipsync the male part of a soviet pop song. The first act was a strange orientalist pseudo-bellydancing sort of thing with techno in the back. It was well done for what it was, but the SECOND act... was just... I was blown away. The premise was this: Two "girls" came on stage with a little handheld radio, and they keep changing stations and dancing around to the music on the radio -- The sound was clearly done in one track, so they had to have PERFECT timing for each time they switched radio stations. And they did. Two particular portions of this piece stand out -- At one point it switches to this Russian artist whose name currently escapes me -- he's sort of an icon here; he has a really gravelly voice and sings bizarre songs very folkishly. He's dead now, but in any case, during this song they pull out a flask and act very Russian. I can't even explain it, really. Then they turn on a hip hop song and a third performer comes on stage wearing tremendously baggy clothing and a hood, and they act all thuggish, when suddenly one of them pulls up his pants and he's wearing ... red leather high heeled boots? The two girls freak out and start ripping off his clothes, and the song changes to Alla Pugacheva (Russia's Cher, only 2837492375 times better), and underneath the thug clothing (s)he's wearing a rainbow wig, a gold glitter dress, and all other sorts of draggish things.

Overall, I was just so damned impressed because they had so much emotion, their timing and performance was just so damned flawless, and it was so damned Russian and creative. Their other performances were all entirely different, all very unique, and all very well done. Only at one point did they do a solo-diva-drag-bullshit thing, but that was because the other performers needed to get ready, I'm assuming (having had to deal with that before).

About an hour after that, Maneka and I are sitting in the (very pleasantly well-lit) bar area, when another announcement comes on that we can't understand and everyone flocks into the bar area... Music starts and ... It's a strip show? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my first strip show was at a lesbian bar, it seems. Anyway, this girl who had been walking around in her underwear all night comes in in a long black dress and super high platformed heels (Her hair was also really cool - it was sort of a really short deathhawk). She danced around and eventually folded her dress down, leaving her top half bare, blah blah blah. In any case, she was a good dancer.

Then she leaves, and another beautiful woman comes out and does a fantastic but oversexed bellydance routine on the bar -- no stripping, though. Her hair was also beautiful; it was pulled back in a topknot, perfectly straight, and went down to her waist. After this, she leaves and the other girl comes back wearing little, and dances around, comes very dangerously close to me several times, and by the end is just wearing a thong and a small bra... whatever. The second girl comes back and they both do a routine in which they are wearing even less. I didn't feel particularly awkward, because it was in a lesbian bar, and when they were dancing up on people, the people were being very sheepish and such. So, from a feminist standpoint, it wasn't sickeningly degrading to women for the fact that everyone was respectful, and it was performed by women for women. Of course, I'm sure some would argue that the very act of stripping is inherently degrading to women, but go to hell.

Anyway, at about 5:30am we went to the metro station and parted ways. It was a night well spent.

Today is another stupid day, however, as it has taken me 40 minutes to post this entry. I have been looking for internets all day so I could download an electronic dictionary to get through these FIFTY PAGES OF READING IN RUSSIAN ABOUT DEMOCRACY IN RUSSIA'S REGIONS, but I have entirely failed. But LJ is working fairly well so I'm catching up on Ben's and Jen's entries. Since their journals are the only ones working (P.S., Jen, yes, I do read your journal, but I never comment because I have to read fast, as to not piss off people behind me in the daily computer queue)

In Which The Masculine Ballet is Attended

2008-10-03T01:45:00.001-07:00

02.10.2008

Today was just kind of stupid. But I'll get to that later -- First I'll talk about yesterday.

Class went well enough. I feel like we have really good discussions in my Russia and the U.S. class. And I participate a lot, which is unusual -- But I think it's because it's in English, so I get to exercise my tongue a little. Speaking of which, when I go back to the U.S., I am going to be so sickeningly talkative. Which is good - at least, for my classes. That's one thing I'm excited about, actually.

Then, last night... Marc Almond concert! It was absolutely fantastic -- though, I think Marc Almond might've been wearing a grill... I don't know. His teeth were unnaturally golden and shiny. In any case, I took some photos, but they didn't turn out very well, as concert photos never do. Pavel went, too, but I was kind of avoiding him. He kept calling, but I didn't want to answer, and Bryan (who went with me) saw him and said he was running around looking for me.

OH! So, MTV Russia interviewed me, in English. Which was kind of dumb. And I gave absurd answers. Because they'll dub over with whatever they want to, anyway, so it doesn't matter... So, I might end up on MTV Russia. Apparently, while they were interviewing me, Pavel saw (according to Bryan), so I thought he was going to bound up afterwards or something, but he didn't. After the concert, I sent him a text message telling him I had my cell off, and asked him how he liked it -- He just responded with one word ["Very"], which was kind of odd, so I think he might have the impression that Bryan and I are together. Which is amusing.

ANYWAY, SO, MARC ALMOND. He sings GREAT live, but ... his newest songs are AWFUL. AWFUL. AWFUL. Terrible, terrible songwriting. I mean, his older songs definitely have a strange STYLE, but they actually flow, even if the word structure is a bit awkward. And they're not GLARINGLY BAD. Thankfully, he mostly performed old material, INCLUDING a few Soft Cell songs (Including Tainted Love, of course... I was actually kind of surprised that he did that one; I thought he would be completely and totally sick of it by now). It was a really long concert, and every time he would start to leave the stage, the crowd would be going INSANE for another song, and he would be like "Oh, alright!" and come back and do another. That happened about four times. Somewhat absurd.

The crowd was actually fairly boring. Apparently, Marc Almond is tremendously popular in Russia, so everyone likes him, including boring people. Which were the majority -- Typical Russians. Of course, absolutely none of them had any idea what he was singing about. If they did they probably would've stormed the stage and killed him for being a pederast. But Russians seem overall blind to homosexuality -- There was a big Central Station poster (I'm assuming they were sponsors) in the hall, which includes an insignia of a bunch of interlocking Mars symbols, and no one seemed to notice. HOWEVER, one exciting crowd member showed up right behind me during "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye." His name HAD to be Igor. If his name weren't Igor, by God I'll shoot myself in the foot. He was really large and strange looking, and he kept trying to sing along, and it was awful. Absolutely awful. Thank God he was only there for that song, so it was funny -- If he were there for more than that song, it would've lost its funniness. Oh, and listening to an entire Russian crowd try to sing the chorus to Say Hello, Wave Goodbye was worth the 1000 rubles spent. Of course, I sung along, too, but I think I was the only onee who knew the actual words.

After that, I walked to the metro, and walked home... Which was not unpleasant. I think I'm already over my mugging victimisation. I felt safe enough, but I was being cautious. I didn't freeze up every time I passed someone, and I didn't feel paranoid on the metro. Speaking of which, the apartment buildings are creepy as hell, and have a thousand million ambush spots. See, they're held up by a bunch of concrete pillars (called "chicken legs," apparently) through which you have to walk to get to the door. Needless to say, it's mildly unnerving.

So, today. Right. Just stupidity. I brought my laptop in order to do a bunch of stuff like update the journal properly, upload photos, etc. I didn't want to use the office computer because it was going to take me a while, and I hate hogging it. In any case, the INTERNET WASN'T WORKING. For anyone. So that was a waste. And I had a test. Which was dumb. But, while I was working on my homework for my class, Liza, one of the Russian tutors, came up and talked to me. Which was neat. Because normally people don't do that. Or something. I don't know.

But, tonight, I went to the Мужкой Балет [Muzhkoj Balet (“Masculine ballet”)] with Ilana. When she first invited me, I didn't think much of it – I just thought of it as something to fill my time with and experience. As far as I know, all-male ballet troupes tend to be centred around farce and such. I don't know, I'm not huge into ballet, and never have been. But, holy hell. I am SO damned glad she invited me, and SO damned glad I didn't miss it.

Alright, so – The first half were contemporary ballet acts. The troupe only had five guys in it, so it was a pretty small cast. The first two dances were ... disappointing, and pretty sloppy. I liked the music, I liked the costuming, and the idea, but they weren't doing very well. After that, though, it just got better. I don't really want to go through each dance, but my favorite was the third, in which you could only see the dancers' feet, and they were doing the tango in two pairs. Of course, in each pair, there was a pair of slacks and dress shoes, then the other set of legs were in high heels – It was somewhat cliché, but the fact that they were all men and this was a Russian ballet troupe just made it absolutely fantastic. Plus, they did a very good job, and it made up for their first routine. Overall, the performance was surprisingly sexual and very ... gay. Their LAST contemporary act was done to the diva's opera from the 5th Element. That, was just fantastic.

The second half of the performance were different scenes from classical ballets. All of these were just fantastic and awesome. Of course, some of the guys were dancing women's roles, and it was kind of amusing because they did one scene from the Pharaoh's Daughter, in which two dancers represent the river (and they are female roles), and one dancer is Neptune... Well, the two dancers who were the river were much taller and more masculine than Neptune. So that was mildly awkward, especially when Neptune had to do lifts and such, but it was still done very well. Their final act was done by the main dancer – I don't know the ballet, but Ilana was excited about it .. I think it was the “Dying Swan” or something like that? Something about swans. In any case, I'm really glad I got to see this. Oh, and there were so few people at the showing that we got to move down from the balcony to the best seating in the house. And, the place itself was gorgeous.

One cultural note before I end the entry. When clapping at the end of a performance, Russians clap in unison... It's ... somewhat bizarre. I mean, at first, they clap normally, then at some point everyone starts clapping in unison. Without music or anything. It's like a hive mind, because it happens all at once (or at least it seems like it, to me). I don't know. I think it's strange. Interesting, but strange.

In Which Cabbage is Hated Upon

2008-10-01T00:09:00.001-07:00

30.09.2008

I don't know how much more stuffed cabbage I can take. I almost started vomiting during the last bites of my dinner, tonight, because the texture of the cabbage was making me gag. But there's no real easy way to tell someone you're going to vomit if you keep eating their food.

I think the pirozhki I ate this morning was also filled with cabbage. Jesus Christ...

In any case, today was interesting. I don't know, my mood is a roller coaster. I was feeling fine until I got into my Razgovornaya Praktika course, in which the professor, Elena Nikolayevna, was not too terribly nice. I don't think she likes me. Or Americans in general. And she's the head of the Russian as a Second Language program... Anyway, she ruined my mood. After that class I just kind of wanted to go home and go to bed, and cancel the plans with Yura. But I didn't, because I knew I regret it,

Bryan wants to go to the Marc Almond concert with me, tomorrow, so he gave me money to buy him a ticket since he had to be in work all day. Well, the Teatralnaya Kassa closes from 3-4, so I was waiting around Smolny for a couple hours, and Ilana asked me to go to the Muzhskoj Balet wiith her (which is an all-male ballet? I don't know, it sounds strange). So, now I am basically doing/have done something every day of the week! Well, except yesterday.

Yura, his friend Masha and I went to the Botanicheskij Sad (Botanical Gardens) today. Which was kind of sad -- All the plants were dead or in just some sad state. But it was thoroughly enjoyable and an uplifting time because I was conversing and being conversed to in Russian. We joked, we laughed, we enjoyed ourselves. They called me a "suspicious American" because I don't drink whiskey.

When I got home and was telling Tatyana where I had gone and such, she asked me about these friends, and was worried when I said they weren't students from the University. She was like, "They're not Ukrainian, Moldovan, or otherwise...?" and I was like "Uh, no, I think they're Russian..." and she nodded in approval. Sooo, there you go. She also told me to not walk around this district at night because there were a lot of "Ukrainians, Uzbeks, and Kazakhs living in the area." I wasn't aware of this particular suspicion of Ukrainians -- I thought it was more of a patronising demeanour than anything else between the rest of the Slavs and Russians.

Oh, and I finally got around to asking her where she works... and... she just gestured out the window and said “There.” I was ultra confused, and said, “...Where..?” and she was like, “There!” and then said something else that I didn't understand. So there's that.

So, Marc Almond tomorrow, ballet on Thursday, Hermitage and Tri El' on Friday, Central Station on Saturday, and Pavlovsk on Sunday. Masha and Yura were saying they wanted to go to Pavlovsk and have a picnic and whatnot, as well, so we'll see what happens there. I didn't entirely understand, but, Russians seem to not have a grand concept of time so I'm sure they'll call/text me on Sunday MORNING with the plans.

Busybusy week. I actually better get started on my homework...

I'll upload photos on Thursday.

In Which Titles Have Run Out

2008-09-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

29.09.2008

So, tonight was the first night I was unable to eat ALL my dinner. I don't think Tatyana was pleased. But I ate as much as I could... I don't know. I'm not going to force myself to eat mounds of cabbage if I don't want to, damn it!

At this point I am definitely making myself go out and do things, constantly. Except, I DO have a lot of work.. So, I need to keep that in mind, too. I don't think it's going to be too difficult to get an A in my RSL class(es?). I've decided I'm taking Central Asian State Formation for audit. Which means I still need to do readings, but I don't need to worry about papers. Human Rights is getting easier and easier to understand -- Today, it was just me and the professor; the Russian student didn't come. Which was tremendously awkward, because the professor was sick and the power was out in the building, so towards the end of the class it was getting really dark and creepy. I don't know, I just feel kind of weird in that class because I feel like he doesn't want to teach the stupid American who doesn't know Russian very well. But, I could be completely wrong. After class today he ask me why I chose to study in Russia -- There wasn't much of a hint of sarcasm or malice in his voice, but then again, Russian intonation is strange so I doubt I'd be able to pick it up anyway.

In any case, my final class, Russia and the U.S.A.... it's the high point of my week, but I have a feeling it's going to be tremendously difficult. This week I have a big chunk of reading -- an 8 page speech by Putin (?!) and a bit in the textbook -- all in Russian. Plus I have two papers and one or two presentations. And this professor seems very strict and not terribly flexible -- He wants the papers in English, no exceptions, so he's kind of scared a few Russians off. Most other professors who teach the English classes allow the Russians to write their papers in Russian and do everything else in English. So, who knows. We'll see.

I already have a lot planned out this week:

Tuesday: After class, going with Yura and a friend of his to Botanicheskij Sad. Which is a gigantic garden, by the looks of the atlas I carry with me... We'll see what happens, there. He told me not to say where we met, or mention anything homosexual, as his friend doesn't know. So that should be interesting.

Wednesday - Marc Almond Concert!! Whoo! (also possibly going to the U.S. consulate to report the mugging)

Friday: Hermitage, then Tri El' with Maneka. (The First! Ever! Goth Rock festival in Russia is also this night, but I couldn't find anyone to go with me... So I guess I won't be doing that).

Saturday: Going to Pavlovsk with E.B. as the leaves are turning and apparently it's absolutely beautiful down there at this time of the year. Of course, I have a hard time believing it's more beautiful than my last visit, but our main purpose for going down there is for artsy photos, so we'll see what happens. Then, at nighttime, I think I'm going to Central Station again.

Sunday: ... Do I have anything planned for Sunday? I can't even remember. I think there might be a cultural excursion, but I can't remember. If nothing, I think I'll go to Udel'naya market.

Oi, I just want to write more, but I need to go do work. At least I'm finished with all my RSL homework for tomorrow, so I just need to do Russia and the U.S. readings. Argh, I keep forgetting to buy an electronic dictionary.They make things so damn easy, comparatively... My book dictionary is literally falling apart --- over half the Russian section is just sitting in there, and if I try to flip through it all the pages fly out.

In Which A Weekend is Spent

2008-09-29T00:54:00.000-07:00

Long entry covering three days. This is actually the abridged version. Brace yourselves.

_______________________________

So, here I sit, on a nice comfortable bed, sipping hot tea, eating German chocolate, and listening to music. No class tomorrow... A nice day planned ahead... Aaah, this is the life.

Except, I'm about to BUST. From the massive amount of FOOD. That has been FED TO ME. I think she's under the impression that I am too thin, so she keeps feeding me a TON. Borshch with some starchy side dish every nice so far... Tonight was stuffed cabbage. Which was alright, until I was NO LONGER HUNGRY, but somehow I managed to stuff it all down. So now I feel kind of sick. But it's good, because I think I may have lost a dangerous amount of weight since I've been here -- Tons of walking, tons of stress, not enough food. And certainly not SUFFICIENT NUTRIENTS. Which of course is a terrible cycle, because I'm sure that made me feel even worse and so forth.

So, this morning for breakfast, she had a bunch of bliny out for me, then random toppings around.. Honey, sour cream (no thanks), and ... vegetable marrow puree? It sounded absolutely horrific, but the honey was frozen, and there was no way I was going to ruin the bliny with sour cream, and I didn't want to insult her by not using at least one of the toppings, so I tried the vegetable marrow puree... and I'm convinced it was a bad English translation on the label. I didn't see the Russian, but it definitely tasted fruity -- it was really dark red, and tasted like thick thick fruit juice with various soaking whole fruits. Like, berries and such. So, I don't know. But that was delicious. Along with CUPS AND CUPS OF TEA. SO MUCH TEA. I WANT MORE TEA. I need to find a specialty tea shop somewhere in the city. And try more teas. Black teas, red teas. I am not a fan of green tea, though.

So, I feel like this is a new beginning. I am so much happier, I feel like my language is improving, and the past is the past. I think I've gone through the full cycle of culture shock or whatever. Not that I believe in such a set cycle, but yeah. I'm still a bit jumpy and paranoid, though...

IN ANY CASE. Tomorrow should be a busy day, if I do what I say I'm going to do. I plan on going to the Hermitage, by myself, and just wandering around... I plan on going a lot, and apparently it's just absolutely gigantic, and free (for students), so I want to go there at least once every two weeks or something.

Friday:

Anyway, so, I took my first trip to the Hermitage museum, and I ... definitely should go more often. Everything is free for me since I am a student, so I should probably take advantage of that while I can, since I don't think I'll be able to after this trip, assuming I come back to St. Petersburg for any amount of time (which, despite my current and recent feelings, is probable).

So, I don't think I've EVER been to a half decent museum... I first went into the “Ancient Near East” part of the museum, which was, admittedly, the most boring. And thankfully very small. HOWEVER, I do have to say that old bits of clay and stone tablets are INFINITELY more interesting when viewing them in real life, as opposed to in a textbook. There were some large wall slabs from Assyria that depicted some sort of battle and some priests holding sprouts that I actually really enjoyed. What was really nice about this section was that NO ONE was there. Seriously. The only other person who was there was an old woman who was there to make sure I didn't destroy anything.

After that I zoomed through the Ancient Egypt (OMG THEY HAVE A REAL MUMMY) section, and, again, small broken figurines are infinitely more interesting in real life. Again small exhibit, but a lot more people.

Then, I went through to Ancient Greek and Rome Antiquities sections, which were basically ALL statues and busts until the end, where they had pottery. The first room ... I don't know why, but I was just absolutely blown away. I think the first statue I saw was the Muse of Tragedy. The first room I spent at least 20 minutes in... I also took some photos, which I will upload

I wandered upstairs and meandered through the French Art and Russian Culture sections, which are actually the largest next to “Byzantium and the East.” I got lost a few times. But in all honesty, most of the time I was more interested in the ROOM of the exhibit rather than the exhibit itself – Again, I took some photos. Beautiful ceilings, if nothing else.

So, I got tired and left... and waited at the bus stop... for a fucking hour. It was ridiculous. Just when I was about to give up and walk to the metro the number 7 state run bus came. What's sick is the k7 busses, which are privately owned and slightly more expensive, were coming by every ten minutes. But I was DETERMINED to get on that number 7 state run bus. And save ... six rubles? Six fucking rubles. I am not hurting so bad financially that I can't spend six extra rubles. Seriously. What is that, 25 cents, MAYBE? In any case, the principle is that the damned number 7 is supposed to come by every 10-20 minutes. End of story.

After that I met up with Pavel for film watching. And uh. One would think being in a Russian city with a Russian would make one ... blend in more, and feel more secure? NOT SO. Not in this case, anyhow. When I'm out alone, everyone seems to assume I'm Russian, and they ignore me for the most part. Pavel? For some reason, everyone seems to point and whisper and laugh. Probably because he's loud. And awkward. And he prances. Instead of walking like a normal individual. Indeed, even when his FRIENDS see him, they just kind of bust out in laughter. Which is really sad.

IN ANY CASE, we went to this cafe, which was tiny tiny, to watch the film... Which turned out to be Total Eclipse. Which I don't like very much because the actor who plays Verlaine is just absolutely homely and Leonardo Dicaprio is a piece of shit (though, admittedly, he does well in this film). It just drags on for far too long. ANYWAY, it was neat, because it was an artsy gay-friendly cafe, and it was filled with queer Russians. If anything, it was worth it just for that experience. The non-club queer experience, that is. Though I felt kind of like I was intruding, and no one was talking with me. Probably because Pavel was just speaking to me (loudly) in English, and I wasn't saying much because I had nothing to say and didn't know WHAT to say. And I don't understand him when he speaks Russian because he won;t slow down and he uses an absurd vocabulary with words that translate to “cur,” “mongrel,” and “sodding.” What the fuck? Anyway, it was kind of sad, because appparently this little artsy cafe is closing next month, and this was their last film showing.

Actually, the film was kind of funny, because .. well, I was expecting like, Russian subtitles on the English movie. NOT SO. It was on someone's laptop, and it was the original movie, with the original sound track, dubbed over in Russian. But not dubbed in the normal way we Americans think of dubbing. You could hear the English in the back. And the voice actors weren't really even acting, so much as saying the lines loudly seconds after the English. In the parts where it was quick and witty dialogue, it was hard to keep up because the voice actors sped up, but still couldn't keep up with the English, because Russian words are absurdly long, and things that are very simple for us to say in one or two words become full sentences in Russian. So that was getting tiring after an hour or so.

Saturday/Sunday:

So, yesterday was fairly low key. Took a walk and went to a cafe, then came back. A bunch of the Americans were going to a bar, and I didn't want to stay in all night, so I went with them .

Today I went to Marinsky to see “The Magic Flute,” which was great. Very well done. Though costuming was a bit shabby, strange enough. And the opera was in Russian, which was even more strange, because I knew a couple of the songs but could barely recognise them. I need to go out and do more cultural things, truly...

Actually, on that note, I realised the other day that I've already spent a month here. Which means I only have a little more than three months left. Holy fucking shit. Time is flying by. The sick thing, when I realised this, I actually got ... excited. Which freaks me out, a lot. Because now I feel like I'm wasting my time by hating my time, which is a problem I've had all my life. And I need to stop that.. I've been TRYING to stop that. But last semester was absolutely awful, the first semester was absolutely awful... I don't know. I'm wasting my own life. So basically I have a renewed vigour to fill my time with useful things. Except for tonight. Because I have a headache. And I have no money.

This week, I am going to see Marc Almond, and I am going to hang out with Yura (and possibly Andrei? But doubtful, since he apparently lives in Pushkin). Friday night, I'm going to Tri L' with Maneka, and then Saturday I am sure to do something.

In Which Moving is Completed

2008-09-24T00:35:00.000-07:00

... Alright, first, this was brought to my attention by Ms. Jennifer Schiller:

http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-22-fill-in-the-blank-210

I am at a loss for words.

In any case, it seems that I entirely forgot to update, tomorrow. I think I was just out of it and not wanting to do anything, but I had a lot to do regardless. Like packing. And homework. Thankfully, one of my classes was canceled today, so I didn't have AS MUCH homework.

My Human Rights class went very well, yesterday. I understand more and more with each class, and the homework for this next week should be pretty easy -- the workload is fairly light, so, there we go. And the professor is awesome, but ... he seems to be able to perfectly understand, read, and write English, but not speak it. I don't know what to do with that. In any case, he's helping me after the class every time with what I don't know, and I'm asking questions IN class now because I'm becoming comfortable, and the other student is helping me by explaining things. So. There's that.

I've been in a very ... strange mood these past couple of days. For one, definitely jumpy -- I was walking back from the ATM yesterday at 11am, middle of the day, when I heard someone running behind me, and my heart stopped and I spun around and almost punched some poor jogger in the face. And it took me a good five minutes to recover after that, catch my breath, and so forth... Then while I was waiting at the bus stop, this young man (МОЛОДОЙ ЧЕЛОВЕК!) walked quickly in my direction and I froze and tensed up. In general, Russian men my age are making me tremendously uneasy.

Despite that, however, I have been in a decent mood. I don't know. Perhaps this has forced me into some sort of perspective... Because I'm feeling a little bit more 'at home,' here. I don't know. It's strange. I move into my host family in like half an hour, so I hope that goes well.

A cultural note: Russian people seem to have a general fear and revulsion of "the floor." They will not sit on the floor. They will not place their stuff on the floor. They will not stand on the floor without some kind of footwear on (socks don't count). As a result, in classrooms, the number of available seats is generally cut in half because everyone takes up two seats: One for themselves, one for their bags. Same with the cafe. And anywhere else where one will sit. I've started to adhere to this cultural standard, since, really, it does make sense... the floor is quite dirty. Here, that is especially true. My grey shoulder bag is now... grey ... with black streaks, because I've placed it on floors where I should not have done so.

Several Hours Later:

Alright, so, I moved into my host family. And I have to say that this was probably the best decision I've made since I have come to Russia. The apartment is very clean, homey, and comfortable... And I am IMMEASURABLY happier. My host mother, Tatiana, is very talkative, very nice, and all around awesome, so far. I can understand when she speaks, and I'm already pretty comfortable with asking questions when I DON'T understand, etc. My room is fairly sizeable -- My bed doesn't have annoying SPRINGS sticking into my back, like the dormitory did. I have plenty of room to put my stuff, plenty of room to work, plenty of room to breathe, and a BALCONY! Gasp. There are two balconies, actually -- Both covered, so I can sit outside while it's raining. I'm on the 8th floor, so the view is pretty good.

She's soaking my favorite shirt, too -- The one I wore when I got mugged. I hope it's salvageable.

I had my first dinner, and it was delicious. Some sort of very, VERY VERY, red soup... I don't think it was borshch, but it definitely had a ton of beets in it. Ate every last bit. Then, some penne pasta with some sort of meat and ... orange vegetable sauce. Not sure what the vegetable was -- At first I thought they were yellow peppers, but they might've been carrots. No idea, but it was good, so I ate all of it without complaint. Thankfully, she asked me what I DIDN'T like to eat, when we sat down and had a short conversation, so I avoided an awkward future situation. She thought I was vegetarian at first, which she seemed fine with, but then I told her I LOVED meat and she seemed a bit relieved. I did add the addendum that I get sick when I eat fish, though. And she was fine with that. So. I'm excited to see what breakfast has in store for me.

I need to buy a pair of tapochki (house slippers). She's letting me borrow her guest slippers, but since I'm going to be here for MONTHS it's probably better that I buy my own. For those who don't know, in Russian households, everyone removes their shoes at the entrance and then has to wear slippers when walking through the house. Socks are not sufficient. Remember, the floor is dirty.

I don't have the internet here, but that's a small price to pay. I'll just have to go to internet cafes occasionally, plus I have access to the Smolny internet Monday-Friday. Speaking of which, updates will be less frequent, and it might be harder for me to keep up with peoples' entries, but you'll all survive.

I want to write more, but I feel like this entry is getting a bit lengthy. So, for now, I'm going to DEPART.

In Which Lessons are Learned

2008-09-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

Last night, went to Central Station. Biggest club I have EVER seen -- Three floors, two dance floors, three bars, four little sit-down couch cafe areas, and a restaurant. It was insane. Fairly nice place, too, and very clean.

Next to no one was there when I got there. It was a maze at first -- I had no idea what was where and so forth. I checked in my coat, which was free, and wandered around... Wandered into the restaurant area, and a waiter gave me an expectant look. I just glanced at my watch like I was waiting for someone then wandered off. Finally found a (very dark..) set of stairs which led the second floor -- A dance floor and two bars in three rooms of varying levels connected by small sets of stairs. Dance floor had blacklights, of course, plus a wall of screens with strange colors and dancing figures on them. I went into this small bar area and sat down at a couch, and they had this really nasty porn playing on the screen. I just sat down, looked through the drink menu and started texting people.

These two guys came and asked if they could sit down. Then they introduced themselves, and I too, and I told them I was a student, etc etc. Their names were Yura and Andrei, and NEITHER OF THEM KNEW ENGLISH!! AIEE. Anyway, Andrei was pretty shy, but Yura talked with me, and he was very friendly and I could understand pretty much everything that he said. We all exchanged numbers, and when I said I was leaving before the metro closes, he said I should stay and wait the night out. Since ... well, no one was there. So .... I hadn't had the chance to do much. So basically I spent most of the night with them, and it was an interesting night indeed.

Andrei wanted to dance, but Yura apparently doesn't dance, so Andrei and I went off to dance. That's a sentence from hell. In any case, after that we all converged again and shared a bottle of champagne over conversation. (And this is where I learn that I am a TRUE lightweight -- I'm not sure why, but the shot of absinthe I took a couple days ago did next to nothing other than give me a nasty aftertaste; the first shot of abinsthe I did was neat, but didn't do THAT much. Two glasses of champagne? I was on the HEAVY side of tipsy). Eventually Andrei and I dance again, then when we return to the table, Yura is gone, so we're talking, and he says he likes the guy at the table behind me... I glanced behind me, and the guy kind of looked like a creeper, so whatever. When I turned back around, the guy stood up, came over, and started making out with Andrei. I was like, "wtf?" When they finished, Andrei asked me if Yura had come by, because Yura was Andrei's boyfriend ....

At this point I was like "fantastic." But I wasn't going to get in the middle of it -- I don't yet know the cultural standards on this topic. Eventually this creeper guy and his friend came over, creeper guy being named Kostya, and his dumb friend being named Dima. Dima talked with me while Kostya and Andrei were making out, and he tried to talk politics. I didn't entirely understand what he was saying ... well, I understood WHAT he was saying, but not quite the purpose. He started talking about Bush, and he was like "We have a president, too!" and I was like "...yes....?" And then he said something about choices. I don't know. Then he said he didn't like Condoleeza Rice. Which made me giggle.

So, Yura came back as Andrei and Kostya were making out, and he didn't seem entirely comfortable, but he didn't make any big deal out of it. I got up and left to go to the bathroom, and when I came back they were all gone, so I wandered around a bit, and saw Kostya and Andrei making out on the dance floor, then ran into Yura walking around aimlessly looking kind of sad, carrying Andrei's bag... Again, didn't want to get in the middle of it, so I sat with Yura for a while and we just people watched.

And then I met a Sasha, but I think I'm going to save that story for another time. It's not that interesting. Just another instance of a guy pushing themselves on me, and not wanting to go away.

So, at about 5:30am I left for the metro, everything fine. Got to Primorskaya, started my walk home. Figured since it was ... well ... "night time" and I was alone I'd take a different direction back to the dorms -- A lot of people were walking on that side of the street and it was well lit, so I started my walk back. About halfway down the street I see two guys come onto the sidewalk, both dressed neatly, wearing all black, one of them had combat boots, the other had a nice leather jacket (not a motorcycle jacket, just a normal leather jacket). They were both clearly Russian, about my age. I was thinking "Oh, great, so these are the skinheads the handbook warned me about." So I figured I'd just outwalk them before they got any ideas, since I can walk fairly quickly and the dorms weren't much farther.

When I turned left on Korbalestroiteley street, I thought they had turned off, so I was just continuing on my way, when I suddenly hear heavy footsteps right behind me, and one of the guys tackles me to the ground. He grabbed my throat and dragged me off of the sidewalk into the bushes, and they both started yelling at me in Russian. At this point, I thought they were going to just pull out a knife and slit my throat, and then as the guy who was NOT holding me raised his foot to stomp on my abdomen, I recognised the words "GDE DEN'GI," which is "WHERE IS THE MONEY." Despite the situation, I was relieved that this was not a hate crime, but a simple mugging! So, I started digging through my bag, and they got impatient and tore through it, but couldn't find my wallet because I hid it THAT well.. so I pulled it out and they grabbed it and took all the money. But left everything else alone. Which was convenient. Then they started yelling something else, and I didn't understand what they were saying, so I said I didn't understand, and they just stopped... and in perfect English, "You're not Russian?" to which I glaringly replied, "No." And the one who asked the question says, "Shit." The other one says "Mobile telephone!" so I'm like, "Oh, you want my piece of shit cell phone? You can have my piece of shit cell phone. Do you want some cigarettes, too?" and while I'm looking for my phone, "No, we don't smoke." I throw my phone at them, and they look at it for a second, then they're like "Uh, nevermind" and drop it on me. Then they start to walk off, saying "You shouldn't walk alone at night. Welcome to Russia!"

Basically, it was my fault. I should have taken the way I normally do. That would've avoided the situation. I should not have gone alone. I should have trusted myself when I thought these guys were trouble. I'm just lucky it wasn't worse.

All in all, I'm just glad I escaped it with only a few scratches, and a loss of 500 rubles. Well, they also seem to have ruined my favorite outfit, so I'll see if I can salvage that.

At least I don't feel as bad for spending 100 rubles on a tiny bottle of water earlier in the evening. It would've gotten jacked anyway.

2008-09-20T09:47:00.001-07:00

Today, thankfully, was NOT a waste.

I plan on going to Central Station soon, within an hour, but for now I wanted to rest and wind down a little bit.

Took a shower, did a little packing today. Then at about 2 I went to meet Ilana and Maneka at the metro station, as we were going to check out a mall that supposedly has half decent prices. I waited in the metro station for about an hour or so, which was fine, because I got to do a lot of people watching. At one point, there was some sort of fight on the metro train -- I couldn't entirely tell what was going on because it was half obscured. Well, I saw this guy violently KICK something inside the metro car, which was strange, then I saw someone FLY out of the door, and a couple more guys flee the car. I never saw who they were fighting -- The train doors closed and all the guys who were thrown out of the car were making rude gestures and whatnot. No one else was really paying them any attention.

So, we get to the mall, called "Nord," and shop around. I had no intention of buying anything, as I didn't think I'd find anything, BUT, I bought a pair of shoes which are AWESOME and a small... bag thing. As a replacement for my small backpack when that dies. Which might be soon. I'll take photos in the near future.

OH, and my Human Rights professor, Starodubtsev, sent me an e-mail. I just kind of read through it fast, but from what I understood he's willing to work with me so I can take the class for credit, and not have to worry about my workload. But I'm not going to get too excited until I get time to go through and translate it. Which will be tomorrow.

I spent way too much money, today.

I know I keep forgetting to put things in my entries... Like, interesting stories that happen... I don't know. We'll see.

Peter and Paul Fortress tomorrow. Yay cultural excursions.

Edit: OH! I remember my interesting story! When I got back to Primorskaya Metro like an hour ago, I was going up the escalator... and ... I kept hearing music. Just barely. I realised it was Fade to Grey, by Visage, and I was like "wtf?" It was too loud to be coming from someone's headphones, and it sounded like it was coming from the metro intercom system, but I've never heard music being played there, before. And I couldn't find its source. Which was disappointing.

2008-09-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

The day was, overall, a waste. Which is no good. I basically sat inside on the internet all day and did nothing. And my terrible American roommate slept until 7.30pm. Don't know what that's about. And now he just came in and lied down on his bed. But I'm ignoring him and leaving the light on and typing really loudly Whatever. ТАК ИЛИ ИНАЧЕ.

As for things that I did OUTSIDE today, I went to get some money and then saw Lauren on my way back to the dorms, and she took me to the universam to buy groceries. Even though I'm moving out soon, I still need to eat, so I went with her, and lo and behold, I found these FANTASTIC little delicious treats that I had been eating at Maneka's house. They're like, small fudge squares that taste mildly caramel and mildly nutty. I have no idea what they're called. They're great for holding in your mouth while you sip hot tea. Mmm.

Then I made myself some steamed broccoli and sausage. Mmmm.

Went with the program children to a Lebanese restaurant, which was EXCELLENT, then we went to a bar afterwards, where I drank absinthe. They had this strange ritual with it where they set it on fire then I had to breathe the fumes, but I did it incorrectly and the woman got angry with me. Later it was pointed out to me that snorting alcohol can cause serious brain damage, so I am quite glad that I did not understand. Anyway, I shotted it. And that was the end of that. Now I just get foul tasting alcohol fumes coming up my throat. Just washed it down with tea and tasty treats, and now I think I'm going to bed.

Tomorrow, however, is shopping time, and then TSENTRAL'NAYA STANTSIYA. We'll see how that goes.

Слова Дня - наступление (nastupleniye) - coming, onset.

In Which Lunch is Eaten, Russian-Style

2008-09-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

I feel a hell of a lot better, today. My roommate NOT snoring last night might've helped that. Still a little out of sorts -- The pressure in my head is off. But other than that I'm feeling fine.

Classes went halfway fine today. I suppose. I realised that I am taking way too much on, though -- 18 credit hours. I need to either drop my Central Asia course, or take my Human Rights class for audit. I'd rather drop my Central Asia course, because I would still need to do PART of the work for Human Rights, and I'd rather put my all into it. I sent an e-mail to my professor last night... Apparently it was entirely illegible because the email converted the cyrillic to a bunch of ?'s. But, my professor sent a reply in ENGLISH, meaning he speaks ENGLISH, which is GOOD. In many ways. One, I can ask him questions in English. Two, he's been speaking entirely in Russian, probably because he understands I need to learn the RUSSIAN LANGUAGE. This is good.

I had lunch with Pavel and a couple of his friends, today. I'm glad that even Russians think he's fucking crazy. And eating with Russians was neat. So, apparently, Russians like to say "Приятного аппетита" (priyatnogo appetita; bon appetite, basically) whenever someone around them is having a full meal. So as people kept stopping by the table, even if they were just talking to someone else, they said this to me, and I got thoroughly confused. Pavel later explained this custom to me. Bizarre. I've also noticed that Russian guys always shake hands when greeting eachother, even in passing. ALWAYS THE SHAKING OF THE HANDS.

I went to the Philological Faculty bookstore today to buy a textbook -- Системая история международных отношений (Systematic history of international relations) and it was exciting because it only cost 370 rubles, which would be about 14.50 dollars, for a book that would cost AT LEAST 50 dollars in the U.S. if not more.

I also keep eating a lot of German chocolate. And I need to stop. Because it's semi-expensive and making me sick. But it's so good... so... good.

I don't have classes tomorrow, so I get to screw around and just rest and recover, tonight. And do work. Of course.

I'm really excited for moving in to my homestay. Forming stronger ties with Russian acquaintences (Pavel, Asya, other random people I've met) and the possibility of absorbing some Russian culture is making me much happier.

Слово Дня - так или иначе (tak ili inachye) - Whatever.

Yeah, so it's a phrase, but it's a phrase I need to memorise because I use it so damned often. I also learned "nevermind," today, which is "не важно" (ne vazhno; literally - not important).

In Which Russian Nationalism is Adopted

2008-09-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

Oi, still ill, but getting better. I've sequestered myself to sitting inside and resting until I get better, since it's so cold outside. I wasn't going to complain about the weather, but even the Russians are all complaining about how cold it's getting, since apparently the weather we have right now isn't supposed to come until the end of October... It's gross and windy and I hate it. I would probably be fine if I weren't sick, but the sickness just magnifies everything.

In other news, I am for sure moving into a homestay, now. Spoke with Bryan and Elena, today, and they found a host family for me -- A working class single mother and her 25 year old son. Which seems like pretty much an ideal situation for me. Well... Minus the son. Apparently the last time she hosted a student was four years ago, and the son didn't really talk to the student, so, whatever. I move in on Tuesday, so I'm fairly excited. Won't be getting on the internet half as much, though, so entries might be 2-3 times a week instead of every day. We'll see. If anything it might force me to go out more... Of course, I go out fairly often, just, I've been sick for a few days so I haven't done much of anything.

I have a lot of homework to do, but zero desire to do any of it... So we'll see what happens. I think after I get off of here I'm going to nap then do work. Or something.

So, I'm taking a class on relations between Russia and the U.S.A, and it's really interesting because we're doing a quick survey of post-WWII and the Cold War before we delve into the contemporary scene, and I'm enjoying the Russian perspective of the history. And I agree with pretty much everything the professor says. Which isn't necessarily good or anything, but, of course, he's not a Russian nationalist or anything -- he's just a realist. And he makes fun of Socialist ideology a lot. Which is fantastic.

And, since coming to Russia, I may have adopted a somewhat Russian nationalist perspective on the Georgian conflict. Basically, I think the West just needs to stay out of this. From the start I knew that the Western media was entirely out of line, but after making a few more discoveries, at this point everyone is making a fool out of themselves. The current Georgian government is absurd, to say the least, and more prone to massive human rights violations than Russia is, at this point. In the 90's, the Georgian president threatened South Ossetians with extermination if they didn't cease separatist ... thought. Or whatever you would call it. Basically, dictatorship at that point. The fact of the matter is, Russia does have a right to interfere with Georgian politics. Full stop. Georgia's out of line. The Georgian PEOPLE are siding with Russia. This conflict has a much more complicated history than most people in the West even understand. And I formed a much better argument earlier in the day than what I just wrote... Augh, I'm tired.

Oh, and, a cultural note. I have noticed that many buildings here have many escalators, elevators, and doors.... But Russians seem to like turning off most of these escalators and elevators and locking most of the doors... I suppose this is so that people don't wear out ALL of them with constant use, but even when they break down, they don't turn on the escalators and elevators that are never in use. They just wait to fix them. Maybe it's a control thing. Either way, it's kind of annoying, especially in the entrance to the dorm building, because you have to go hrough this maze of unlocked and locked doors to get in to the damn building. Maybe they're controlling our movements. I don't know.

Note to self: Never get on the bus at rush hour again. Though, I'll be taking the metro every day once I move into the host family. Whoo!

I hope I'm bettter by this weekend. I don't want to waste a weekend being sick.

Слово Дня: воображение (voobrazheniye) - imagination.

In Which Tickets are Successfully Purchased

2008-09-16T08:08:00.000-07:00

So, uh, I walked in today and I was like, "Wow, the room is really warm... I guess they decided to turn on the heat." I was going around my business, and I go into the kitchenette and both stoves were on... I was like, "What the fuck?" and clearly, turned them on. Then, I went to make tea, and there was a nasty bug creature stuck in the measurement part of the water boiler thing. Fantastic.

Both classes went terribly because I was coughing and dying during both of them, then one of my professors reported me to the program manager for 'not being prepared.' What the hell? I probably shouldn't have gone to class anyway.

But, in any case, I asked for the homestay... Apparently I'll probably be put with a "communicative old woman." Whatever. Bryan (program manager) keeps 'warning' me, like this is a terribly dire situation. Though, while talking about it, I realized the immense absurdity in trying to move... All the bureaucracy of moving out of the dorms, then lugging all my shit halfway across the city. We'll see what happens. I'm half hoping they don't find someone who will take me in, but, that's the lazy side of me -- I know it would be better for me to go into a homestay, anyway. I just hope my movements aren't too terribly restricted. It's not like I stay out that late anyhow, but we'll see.

In victorious news, today, I bought my ticket for the Marc Almond concert. That was actually the most pleasant 'shopping' experience I had. I went to the kassa, and asked if they had tickets, and the woman said yes... And while the thing was registering, she asked if I knew Russian well, and I told her I knew a little, and she was really pleasant and nice. So. There's that. I'm going to see Marc Almond! Whooo!!

I failed at buying apple cider vinegar, though. I couldn't find it anywhere in the damned supermarket, and I went through every shelf on every aisle, asked some lady and it wasn't where she said it was. Damn. Oh well. My throat feels better but I've been getting a nasty cough and more nasal leakage, and there's still pressure in my ears. I won't worry about it too much unless it lasts over a week -- it's only been a couple days so far.

Edit: ... my piggish American room mate decided to use my personal bathing washcloth to clean the kitchen.

I am displeased.

In Which I am Dirigible

2008-09-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

So, I think I might have a sinus infection. No good, no good at all. Last night, the massive pressure in my HEAD didn't allow me to sleep, but fortunately I have Excedrin sinus medicine, so that relieved me enough that I could survive the night and go through today. My sore throat is all but gone, but my nose is all snotty and congested, and I keep getting the beginnings of a sinus headache. I really hope it doesn't worsen...

I am supposed to decide tomorrow whether or not I go to a homestay. I'm thinking I might. I'm going to sleep on it. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll have to go to the doctor and have my head drained instead. Fuck. If I do end up going into a homestay, chances are I won't have the internet, so I will be on here a lot less. Which is probably a good thing.

My Human Rights course today wasn't awful. The American girl dropped it, and a Russian showed up, today. So, right now, it's me, this Russian girl (Alla, or Anya? I don't remember), and the professor. I understood a lot more today -- But, I need to send the professor an e-mail with questions and whatnot.

Nothing else remarkable happened today -- I keep meaning to buy tickets to Marc Almond but I never find the time to look for a damned Teatralnaya Kassa (Russia, or, St. Petersburg, at least, has this awesome system where there are these kassas throughout the city that sell tickets to most all events -- Concerts, ballets, opera, and so forth). I need to go to the supermarket tomorrow, so I'll probably look for one then.

Word of the Day:

управляемый (upravlyaemyj) - Dirigible. I actually had to look the ENGLISH word up in a normal dictionary after finding the translation.

Edit: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7616385.stm Very interesting article. I need to start reading the Russian news daily, to see what they have here on it all.. Though, being in several international relations classes, it's always interesting to hear what quips the professors make about the government.

In Which Bad Decisions are Made

2008-09-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

So basically I feel absolutely awful. Last night while heading out I had a mild sore throat, and I knew it was going to get worse, and it did... Last night was just a large terrible decision.

So I was going to Central Station, the gay club in Petersburg, just to check it out and dance. I was only going for a couple of hours, since they're free before 11 and I wanted to get back before the metro closed. Well, Maneka texted me right as I got to the Vasilestrovskij metro station, so I jumped off and invited her along with me. We ended up taking a 20-30 minute walk down Nevskij Prospekt because we took a wrong turn out of the metro station, but neither of us minded since it's neat to walk there at night anyhow, and we both enjoy people watching. Well, we finally get to Central Station, and the doorman greets me and ushers me in, but tells Maneka she has to go in a different entrance AND pay 1000 rubles because she's a girl. We were both like "Wtf? nothx" and left. They DO say they have a "special price" for girls on Saturdays, but figured she'd be fine if she went with me, plus she's sexually ambiguous, so. Apparently not. We're both still kind of wondering what the hell this whole "special entrance" bullshit is, but anyhow.

We ended up going back to Vasilestrovskij and meeting up with a few others in a bar. Which was boring and awful. Then we went to MacDonalds express and stood outside for 30 minutes talking to tremendously drunk Russian guys with strange blue hats with daisies on them (One of them sounded dead up like he was doing a Borat impression). That was boring and awful. Then we realise the dorms have closed and we all have to sleep in Maneka's house. Which was awful. All four of us scrunched up on Maneka's bed, and I just got sicker and sicker as the night progressed, and now I just feel disgusting, with a headache and a terribly sore throat. Despite that, I went with them to an open air market, at noon, which was INSANE. I wanted to buy EVERYTHING. I saw perfect gifts for my mother and my father, plus a few pairs of shoes that I wanted to buy, a really old KINO poster, and some other stuff, but I bought NOTHING because I was MISERABLE and SICK and don't know how to haggle. So I think I'm going to go back next week by myself, if I'm feeling better. Oh, while walking around, I saw one of the vendors pull out a stick of butter, unwrap it, and then just start chomping down. It was awful.

Plus, I still have a ton of work I need to do. Yeck. I just want to lie in bed and eat oatmeal for the rest of the day.

Edit: I'm going to start doing Words of the Day. More for myself than anything. Here's the first:

ученый (uchenyj) - erudite. I wonder if it sounds as pretentious in Russian as it does in English.