In Which Everything Gets OUT! OF! CONTROL!

08.10.2008

Today was fairly unexciting in the subject of events, so the entry should be short. Comparative to most of my other entries, anyway. Perhaps my insight will get OUT! OF! HAND!

In any case, I didn't try to fit in, today. And I actually felt a lot more comfortable that way. I didn't dress OUT! OF! CONTROL! but I did my hair a little and wore a neckerchief. So I didn't feel paranoid and confused when people looked at me strangely, since I WASN'T trying to fit in. Does that make any sense? Probably not.

I went to Bobrinskij Palace (where I have some of my classes -- don't let the name confuse you; they renovated the palace so on the inside it looks nothing like a palace. Indeed, it looks like a very... boring ... office building. Or something. I don't know) and did computer things, then worked on the article I was having trouble reading. Which was a joke, since we DIDN'T EVEN DISCUSS IT. I've been getting all riled up over all my Russian readings the whole damned time I've been here, and time and time again I've seen that it doesn't really matter.

The Russian girl in my class, Olga, sat next to me, today, and talked with me a little. I don't know -- I feel kind of awkward; making friends is hard in general, but I feel like it's particularly hard for me. I feel overly uncomfortable with guys, but male-female relations in Russia are almost strictly 'more than' friendship. So, when a male and female talk, or go out to eat, or basically ANYTHING, it's considered flirting/a date. And apparently I register as a very masculine and desirable male specimen on the Russian scale. Keeping that in mind, I'm trying to be careful to not find myself suddenly with a girlfriend. A few girls have stopped to talk with me, and a lot look at me -- though, I always figured it was because they thought I was weird. I have been informed otherwise. Whatever.

So, uh, I've 'formulated' plans for this week. Which, since it is Wednesday (Thursday when I post this, I suppose), can't be that much... Tomorrow I may be doing something with Yura, and Friday I plan on going to the Hermitage museum. Oh, tomorrow I also have a meeting about tutoring in English.

And then, this weekend, PSKOV! Which should be exciting. I suppose. Cultural, if nothing else.

I don't know if I mentioned this in an earlier entry, but, I think that I might have a fear of developing relationships. That is, more than friendships. When classes first started, and I didn't know Pavel but kept seeing him in the halls and such, I thought he was cute, and wanted to get to know him -- Once that absurdity started, though, any potential desire for that kind of failed. It was similar with Sasha. About whom I don't think I spoke, actually. And I'm not going to. Because that was just kind of dumb, and not particularly interesting.

Ooone last thing: I GET TO VOTE! My absentee ballot arrived at my house (in California) just recently, and my parents are going to fill it out and send it in, for me. As per my instructions, of course. Not that my vote MATTERS, since California will inevitably go to Obama, anyhow. But, whatever, I suppose it's the principle of the matter. And I get to vote for local junk, if there is any. Of which I will, of course, be entirely uneducated in. Ah, well.

P.S.: If anyone happens to run across a McCain speech which includes his plans for foreign policy, I would be most appreciative if you send those along to me. I've found Obama's, but not McCain's, yet. Hm.